Stuck in the middle with you

Well, I am. There's lots to do today and I truly hope I can get it all done. I can't start until a certain supplier opens in an hour then I can head to the University to get started. I think I can I think I can...

Barack Obama is no friend of mine. I've said it before and I'll say it again. I don't think he's forged up all that much "change" anyway. Seriously? What change? Everything is the fucking same. Well, with the exception that someone, and thank the Gods it was a U.S. President, went before the U.N. and admitted what a dick George W. Bush was. I'm not sure about the promises to get better, but I always like to buy anything that makes Bush look bad, as if he needed the help.

However Ed Rollins was on CNN today condemning him for getting applauded by Castro, Khadaffi and Chavez. Of course Rollins is Republican, was in fact chair of the National Committee, so I'd say his ideas about foreign policy are pretty much set.

Still, when do you suppose that those whose policies have failed, and failed so miserably by their own corrupt hands, might actually start to see the light that another tack must be tried? Ever? Lord I hope so.

We're in the shitter economically, politically, militarily, diplomatically. Well, in what capacity are we not in the shitter? Hell yesterday I found out a friend in HI might be in need of assistance if there was a tsunami in Hawaii and I thought, "What the hell will he do if FEMA never shows up?" They've been known to do that you know.

At any rate Obama needs to make some big aggressive move and he needs to do it soon. He's getting a rep for a lot of talk and very little action and that is not good on any of the aforementioned fronts.

I thought about money and thought about money and thought about money all day yesterday and finally came to a sensible conclusion. I can do nothing about any of this. My life savings is tied up by an organization who could give a shit if I ever get it in a timely fashion, and will get it to me when they please, and I can bitch and scream and tear my hair out all I want it will still do what it wants. I know now not to get involved with them again, and I know that there really is an end in sight,which a lot of people do not have financially right now. So I need to shut the fuck up and get on with all the other stuff I gotta do.

So to that end we'll hump thru this day with the glorious image of Preston the assumed medical student in our heads I mean seriously, is he not perfection on feet?

And so it goes:




Thanks to squarehippies for the find on guyswithiphones, I have no idea why I didn't see this guy, wow.
Love

experiments sometimes pay off

This evening I had a little time so I thought I'd see if I could finally get some of my vacation pictures posted.

Here's the first one. It's the view from my tent at my second campsite in the Tetons last month. I suggest you click on it to get the full effect of what I saw each morning. Then you'll not wonder why I had a hard time coming back.

Long One

No not that, it's this week, and it's only Tuesday.

I had to go home Sunday night from work with a headache, and it was crazy busy so I felt bad about that.

Communications at the University are getting no better, and I finally asked and was finally agreed with that we NEED to do a post on this show. I'm just dying to hear how that goes.

The line of organizations queing up to fuck me in various financial ways is getting longer and longer.

I chewed out a couple of people in my class yesterday. (one gave a line reading, the other laughed at someone)

I'm fighting with not one but TWO bureaucracies.

I'm not losing any weight this week so far.

See! I want this week to pass so I can maybe get to one that's better.

This too shall pass, I know. There are many people in much worse shape than I, and I need to remember that, all this shit is just a hassle that I don't need or want, it's not the end of the world.

I will be happy to see it pass though.

And amid all my supposed turmoil I find out that there are people in this world organizing dances for gay youth in Sand Springs OK. If you'd ever been to Sand Springs as I have, you'd know how wonderful the organizers of this dance really are.

Maybe I'm a bit stressed out cause this news took me by such surprise that I cried.

And then I felt better.

And so it goes:


Love

Let's see how this goes...

Mercury is retrograde. I can tell this because very little is going right. It was, however, not an association I made soon enough.

It seems everyone had some sort of fight yesterday. All the blogs I read of people who are part of a couple were talking about arguments, and those of us who are single even ran into a few interpersonal problems. It all seems to be minor, with no lasting damage, but it's unwelcome nonetheless. I could use some smooth sailing especially with that damn show opening on Friday.

Alas...

This weekend I found out that the guy who had my job at the university before me wrote something of a manual and gave it to someone in administration. Unfortunately no one knows who that person is. I also found out that the entire basement of the old gymnasium is full of scenery storage. I now have to find out not only how to access that room, but to find out where it is. I so love that job. I bet it's over soon.

This jobless recovery is getting ridiculous. I'm over all these lies about how things are looking better. For whom???? I'm still underemployed and struggling and fighting with unemployment for money they should have given me in AUGUST! OH! In July I called Jefferson City to find out how to amend my birth certificate to reflect the name change. They told me that my birthdate needed to be on the form and I informed them that there was no place on the form for that info, in fact there was no place on ANY of the forms I filled out for my birth date, but I'd send the copy I have of my birth certificate. They said that would be fine. Six weeks after I sent it (saturday)I got it all back in the mail rejecting it because my birth date doesn't appear on the court order.

WHAT THE FUCK!?!?!

Now I get to deal with bureaucrats and undertaking the futile effort to get them to understand that THIS state doesn't require such info so other than my birth certificate I can't provide it to them. Pain in my ass.

I'm not attempting this feat today. I think a Monday such as this is best left alone. Besides I have work to do on the set and I have to teach tonight. Ugh!

At any rate it IS Monday an I DO have to get moving if I'm to make any progress at all. Wish me luck.

And so it goes:
In honor of the high holy days, a hot jew.


Love

HGF

And I'm in the mood for love! Well, maybe not exactly love...

Time is running out on that season I love so much, Summer. A time when men wander around clad in very little and looking oh so good. Thank the Gods I don't live in a place where that's commonplace, it needs to be a time I look forward to.

And it appears fall has fell here. It's 51 degrees on my deck. Jackets are in order. (sigh)

Busy day today, meeting someone to get stuff for the set, then work at the grocery for a bit, then off to borrow tools from my brother for tomorrow's bout with set construction.

There's a martini in there somewhere, it is Friday after all.

Susan Atkins is dead. I have to wonder what that was like when she finally saw Sharon Tate after all this time. I bet Sharon was pissed! Of course she got saved before she died, it seems so many people who've committed heinous acts in this life turn to the handy-dandy cop-out of getting saved when it comes time to face their mortality. I can't imagine how that would help.

Well, I'm sure there's some peace when this is all over. Maybe she deserves it.

And so it goes:

It finally happened

I think that for the first time in my life I am actually in love with a woman.

Thursday, you'd think that was good news

Sadly, it isn't much news at all. I work today and tomorrow and then Saturday I'll be at the University building more set pieces. Yes, and Sunday too!

We were informed that we had access to this mythical "Purchasing card" yesterday. We'd been promised this thing for weeks and it apparently finally mercifully appeared. The limit is $100...per month.

I'm sorry, I couldn't help it. I laughed. I just stood in the deans office and laughed maniacally. It was all suddenly clear to me, they so don't get it. How in the hell could they possibly expect me to come up with a set and the necessary items to create it with $100? This is higher education. Run by the clueless bureaucrat.

So we're still in the same boat we were in yesterday morning, one of us is going to have to spend the money to get this damn set built and then for the next set we'll know how to work this ludicrous system. It will not be me.

I was reading this morning over at Proceed at your own risk the news that there is a U.N. resolution that has apparently passed the Human Rights council which would make it an international crime to criticize religion. Richard then goes on,as he is wont to do, about a couple in Tennessee who agreed that when they split up the wife would take their daughter to live with her and her female partner, and the husband would take the son. A judge, it is noted here that activist judges operate on both sides of the fence, inserted himself into the proceedings and said that since Tennessee law prohibits a couple from having the child in the house when they're not married denied the arrangement, even though the couple getting the divorce had agreed it was in the best interest of their children. And the good Christians of the world stand up once again and tell someone else how they should live. Thankfully the appeals court overturned the decision and told the judge to reconsider.

There is a lot of noise being made around the country about how the homosexual agenda, of which I still don't have a copy, is trying to indoctrinate the children and that it's the duty of all good Christians to put a stop to it. Fucking nutcases.It's them who are attempting the indoctrination, they're trying to religionize this country, to not only blur but erase the lines that separate church and state. And as always we'll be the ones to pay, us the people, not just the mo's. I saw a license plate the other day that said "In God We Trust." One of these days I'm going to apply for a plate that says "Godless" Let's see what kind of challenge they make to that. You know it'll be denied and I'll have to fight to get it done. If it ever happens.

Michael Moore is releasing yet another film talking about the failure of capitalism. I think it's good that he does this, but truthfully he gets richer each time one of these films comes out. So there's a bit of a dichotomy there. Yes, his film about General Motors told truths about the company we would never have known otherwise. Yes Sicko and Bowling for Columbine et al were necessary. But why does he keep all that money?

Surely capitalism has failed. We're poor, and we're getting poorer, and though no one I know really wants to be wealthy we shouldn't have to spend the rest of our lives wondering where the money for the light bill is coming from, and our children shouldn't have to do worse than we did, yet they are, and they will.

Socialism is known to be the answer. It's already here and the stupid,whose numbers are legion, among us are the only ones who don't know it. They don't want universal health care, yet they do want $787 billion bailouts for the very people who got us into the mess we're in in the first place. It's failure of the education system at it's finest. They're made stupid and they're kept stupid, and they're indoctrinated into a world where they believe that capitalism is the best thing for them and then that very system screws them over. AND THEY LOVE IT!!!

We have to overhaul the education system in this country. It must stop being geared toward the lowest common denominator. It must stop dragging down all the minds that really do not have to go to waste. Just because little Johnny can't read does not mean that Little Susan should have to work at Dollar General cause she was in the same class and the level of learning was dropped so Johnny could learn to cipher.

Teach them according to how you want them to understand. Don't teach them a belief system or a religion in the public schools,make that the parents responsibility. Teach them how to distinguish between right and wrong and what's moral and what isn't. These principles are universal.

Teach them the value of the human experience and show them the worth of the lives of each person they encounter, Then you'll be doing them a service, then you'll be teaching them that we all have value, no matter who we love and no matter who we vote for, and possibly then we can start rebuilding this nation into what we were always told it was.

I got into a great discussion with my class last night about the nature of storytelling and the value of actor's in a culture. They had some pretty twisted notions about what an actor is supposed to do and what kind of lives they live. Not that all actor's are saints, but the one's I know, and I know quite a few, live pretty ordinary lives. But the discussion was fun, in fact I let a couple of things go that I wanted to talk about so we could keep discussing it.

Well I could sit here and bemoan the facts of the rest of my week, but it'll do no good, so I'm off to do it.

I need a vacation.

And so it goes:

Love

No time to say hello goodbye

It's a tough week to get everything done, and next portends to be no better. I just have to keep plugging away and hope I don't miss anything too important.

But as the wheels keep turning and I continue to try to make things keep functioning smoothly news comes in.

Mackenzie Phillips had an incestuous relationship with her father.

What!?!?! Why?!?!! "Why did you do that for?" To quote Terry Crabtree from Wonder Boys.

Do I really need to know this?

Does she need money so badly that she's willing to lay bare a detail of her life that not only do I not care about, I do not want to know? Or is she just a publicity whore?

Ewww!

And perhaps what's most offensive to me is that the goddess Oprah has her on tv to talk about it. Shame on them both.

Keep that shit to yourself, or tell a therapist Mac! I am not interested.

I repeat! Ewwww!

So this is news in someone's estimation. Wow, what happened to news? When did journalism schools become prep schools for reporters for the National Enquirer? Of course, Oprah is not journalist. Perhaps was once, in a broadcast, lite fare kinda way, but now she's just a conglomerate. So news is not her concern. But this?

Ewww!

Speaking of news, when did it go to hell? It was obvious it had happened during the Bush administration, but exactly when the shift occurred, I can't tell.

At the University last week there was an article on a bulletin board I saw with a large note on it. It said, "This is why we do journalism." It was signed by the head of the department.

Being who I am I just couldn't help myself I took it down, got out my sharpie and wrote, "No,this is why we are journalists. Take an English class."

The note has disappeared. I cannot imagine why.

While I'm reporting the sour news of the day I'll make note of the fact that a 22 year old mixed-up kid came to me with some news I also could have lived without. He has questions about his sexuality.

Now why do you suppose he came to me with this news?

It's of little consequence, I informed him that we have counselors on staff who are most willing to listen and not judge, and that he should take this matter up with them. And that I am there to help him learn how to be a better actor. I am not qualified to provide him with life coaching.

I may be crazy but I am not stupid. I watched a couple of friends go down this path to ruin many years ago and I shall learn from their hard learned lesson. Not only that but he's 22(speaking of ewww!), he looks like he needs to go back into the oven for about a decade before he's finished.

I found it all amusing, and now confine my conversations to the classroom (used to be that I talked to students on the way in and out, not anymore), I will not have even the whiff of impropriety.

So now that I've wasted a few minutes of the morning I'm off to campus. I hope this job brings me joy soon.

And so it goes.

Love

Here today

I'm trying desperately to just be in the moment, to just hang out here where I am and not worry about the future, the past, any of it. It's tough though.

Personally things could be going better. They're not catastrophic, but they're difficult. Mostly that's caused by being underemployed. But I'm still making it and that's what counts I guess. I still have a home and food and transportation that's not public.

I'm able to do all the things I love, make pots, speaking of which I have several that have to be trimmed this morning. I get to teach, which is going very well, even though the University is being, as I have noted many times, a bit um, well, ass-y about money. I ride my bike and the horse often, not daily, but I'm going to have to move for that. I'm healthy and I'm losing some of that weight I gained when I was flush with cash.

But something has shifted and I don't know why. My gait has slowed. Yesterday I was walking into the college to teach and I realized I wasn't click-click-clicking like I have in the more recent past. I was strolling. Don't really know why that is, but I seem to have mentally reached a point where I can stop running. Maybe it's taken this long to stop running from those who can't think of anything but themselves long enough to pursue me. Maybe I'm just feeling better. I don't know what it is but I like it.

But enough of the personal good luck inventory, I'm doing ok, things are getting rebuilt and they're changing shape, which I mostly like in this life, it's kinda fun to see things grow when they're not getting grotesque.

Five minutes after I wrote yesterday's post I ran across an article on cnn.com in which Bob Greene said almost the exact things I did. His analogy was two factions playing chicken in cars, but it amounted to the same thing.

But it was a day full of dichotomies. The Governor of Arizona, theocrat that she is,may she rot in hell, has removed all domestic partner benefits for state employees. She states that she believes that God put her in that job to do his work. Which, I suppose is to spread hate and mistrust wherever she goes, like a stain. I have to wonder if the day will come while I am living in which people are treated as humans just because they are one, not because they fit some mold someone else thinks they should fit.

And on the other hand the people of Queens elected TWO gay city council people. Queens! Not exactly a bastion of fairness and equality that place. Yet, there it is, their city reps are big ole mo's.

Katherine Hepburn, as Eleanor of Aquitane said, "There is everything in the world but hope."

I still have to wonder what our next civil war will be over. Will it be race, which is still very obviously a huge and ridiculous issue hanging over our heads. It's patently obvious by the complete lack of comedy about Barack Obama that everyone is afraid to be labeled a racist by making fun or parody of him. It's more and more obvious that there are legions of white people who are terrified by the fact that we have a black President, which I think is funny. George W. Bush was the closest thing we've had to Hitler in a long time and they weren't the least bit afraid of him. He could have easily destroyed us, and would have given enough time in office. But they never uttered a peep against him. Put a black guy in the Oval Office and they shit themselves. I'll never understand it.

Barack Obama, you must understand is no friend of mine, but it's ideological, not racism. He's once again used my fellow gay brothers and sisters to get elected. he went around telling everyone to be nice and tolerant, a phrase I sooo adore, and once elected set out on one hand to ignore us, and on the other to actually work to support the denial of our rights as citizens. So I don't love the guy, but he doesn't scare me because he's black.

But a civil war must be coming, I can't imagine that our citizenry will stand for much more change. Though as I look at things not much change has actually taken place. We still have no health care. We still have no real stimulus jobs that amount to much, we still have no new regs for the financial industry, we still have banks that are failing, we still have generally the same fucking mess we had in January when Beelzebub left office. SO exactly what change is it that's got all these fat white Christians up in arms?


I mean these dummies don't even know we Already HAVE term limits! How can one engage people in a reasonable discourse about what needs to be done in this country when they don't even know what the fuck is going on?


I love this woman, I defy her to tell me exactly what socialism is! She just knows that whatever is being given out, she's not gettin' any and she's mad about it cause the universe revolves around her.


But enough of them.

I'm at home, I'm enjoying the peace and quiet, I'm listening to David Darling play the cello, and I'm thinking of starting a fire this chilly gray morning, which is the first day of fall, I suddenly realize. I'm willing to bet that the turning of the pottery wheel will make me even more zen in a little while.

And so it goes:

Love

Viva La Revolution!

We all want to change the world.

My question would be, "Do you think that's possible without upheaval and revolution given the current climate?"

I don't.

I see a bunch of fat white Christian people standing up and proclaiming loudly that they got theirs and they're not sharing.

I see a bunch of people who want to do the right thing, yet they're so inept that they seem bent on doing it in the wrong way creating havoc for everyone.

I see a bunch of ideologues and pundits cheering their side on to ruin.

Last night I had two interesting conversations. The first had to do with hopefulness. This guy said he believed we seldom practiced hopefulness and I totally disagree.

If I had no hope that things could improve I'd never get out of bed, I'd just give up and run.

I'm broke, my employer sucks ass and among many other insults has no intention of paying me for another 4 weeks. I will end up filing bankruptcy, I'll likely lose the job cause I can't seem to tolerate this bullshit, I want to move to New Mexico and be where I really want to live, yet I allow all this other shit to get in the way. But I am hopeful that I can straighten all this out and move in due time.

I am hopeful.


The other conversation had to do with change. I fear it will only come with the historical upheaval we've witnessed elsewhere, and this time I don't think it'll end with the hippies all becoming real estate agents and stock brokers. This time I think there'll be bloodshed.

I am hopeful that on this count I am wrong, but I'm not.

I think that Barack Obama, Nancy Pelosi et al have the right idea when they try to institute health care for everyone in the U.s. but I believe they've no idea how to go about it. I think instead of using the sneaky backhanded nasty ways of their predecessors (which hateful though they may have been worked for their purposes)they're trying to let everyone see what they're doing and that makes them naive.

I think they can accomplish what they set out to do as long as their initial argument was a long way off from what they're really after so it looks like a compromise to get what they really want. I think that if they make their opponents think they've won a great victory by giving us what we want then they'll succeed.

I informed the Dean and my other boss last night that I am through accepting the responsibility for walking around campus with a cup hollering "Alms for the poor!" so I can get money for this set, and that I am turning the responsibility for the acquisition of funds over to them. We'll see if I'm still employed there by noon. Since they conned me into taking a job that was doomed from the start and never intended to be honest about any of it I doubt I'd be missing much by not being there.

However, I am still hopeful.




And so it goes:





Love

I'm confused, but it's HGF

Greetings! I'd say woohoo! the week is over, but it means little to me. I'll be working all weekend and then back into the next week. It makes me very unhappy that it's necessary, but I simply refuse to allow someone else's inability/unwillingness to do their job affect the needs of this show. We're supposed to be teaching our students how to problem solve and create artistically. In academia it should be under the best of circumstances, but it's not in this case, it's the worst. How do you do a show with no money, and no resources? My only consolation is that they'll get a lesson in some real world problem solving. They certainly won't learn how it should be done.

I was also struck this morning by seeing the story on CNN.com about the coach in Kentucky who ran his players until one of them died. He was acquitted of all charges. I have mixed feelings about that.

Just because no one says they would have stopped the practice because of the heat doesn't mean it was a good idea, it simply means that no one apparently knew any better and someone died as a result. It was that coaches responsibility to know better. If he did, he didn't exercise good judgment. If he didn't he shouldn't have had the job. Either way, he's responsible.

Here's the story:

A jury Thursday acquitted a former Louisville, Kentucky, high school football coach of all charges connected to the heat-related death of a player last year.
David Stinson leaves the courtroom Thursday after being found not guilty in the death of a high school player.

David Stinson leaves the courtroom Thursday after being found not guilty in the death of a high school player.

The jury found former Pleasure Ridge Park football coach David Jason Stinson not guilty of reckless homicide and wanton endangerment in the death of 15-year-old Max Gilpin, who collapsed during a practice on August 20, 2008. The teenager died three days later.

Gilpin's body temperature reached 107 degrees, officials say.

Stinson also was acquitted on a charge of wanton endangerment. Video Watch Stinson after his aquittal »

Prosecutors said Stinson ran a tough practice on a hot day that made several of his players sick.

"The defendant said to his kids, 'We're going to run until someone quits,' " prosecutor Jon Heck alleged in his closing argument.

"A young man given that ultimatum, he ran until he collapsed. He turned white, his eyes rolled back. He could no longer support himself. ... He lost his consciousness, was ultimately taken to the hospital where his body temperature exceeded 107 degrees," Heck said of Gilpin.

The defense argued that nothing was wrong with the practice and that other factors may have contributed to Gilpin's heat stroke.

"We're the first place in this country to indict a coach for a homicide or a felony involving a practice that nobody says they would have stopped," defense attorney Alex Dathorne said in his closing argument.

"There's nothing wrong with the practice; there's nothing wrong with it."

The defense presented witnesses who said Gilpin had complained that he wasn't feeling well the day he collapsed.

Gilpin's parents have filed a wrongful death lawsuit against six coaches at the school. The suit claims they were negligent in their actions and that more than 20 minutes passed between the time Gilpin collapsed and the time one of the coaches called paramedics, according to CNN affilliate WHAS.

Stinson is the only person who has been charged with a crime.
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Days after he was charged, Stinson told supporters that his "heart is broken." "Part of my life has been taken away," he said, according to WHAS. "I no longer teach, and I no longer coach at the school that I love. ...

"The one thing people keep forgetting in this is that I lost one of my boys that day," he said. "It was a boy that I loved and a boy that I cared for and a boy that meant the world to me. That's the thing that people forget. And that's a burden I will carry with me for the rest of my life."

I'm supposed to feel sorry for this guy because he no longer has the job he loved? Because he rightfully feels bad that he killed a kid due to his own ignorant actions? At least without that job he can't do it again.

We just get stupider and stupider.

I'd love to blame the ignorance of a not guilty verdict on Appalachian inbreeding, but I fear it's larger than that.

And so it goes:





Love

the week that was...well...odd

This has been an alternating week, one bad day one good, now it appears we're back to bad, maybe not bad, but aggravating I guess.

Tuesday everything blew up, people were a pain in the ass, the University informed me I was going to wait another 4, (count 'em 4) weeks to get paid, and things in general sucked ass.

Yesterday was the polar opposite. Things went well, everything I tried to get done happened and happened pretty effortlessly. I got lumber delivered at the theatre, I got a plan formulated for the build, I had a production meeting and got all the tech stuff planned, I went to pottery class and made several bowls, I reviewed all the stuff I wanted to cover in my class last evening and made some notes to cover, When I realized I had gotten there and forgotten my book I went to the office and found one almost right away..it was pretty great.

Today on the other hand, so far, grrr. I needed to tf some $ and make the car payment cause this one's on me since the university pay system is fucked, much like the university. Then I discovered that Chrysler financial, (assholes) have redesigned their website and I have to re-register,after 2 fucking years with them, to give them several hundred dollars of my money. It was not easy and I wound up calling some kid in Bhopal to get some info on how to get it done, which I could barely understand. Also pissed me off.

Then I discovered there are other $ issues this week. Nothing catastrophic but enough to make me go "fuck it."

Then I called to find out when I'll be getting some funds I'm expecting from my former employer and they informed me it''d be at least another week maybe two. Joy.

So I guess an up/down week is in the cards for me. I may as well get used to it.

On a good note I found a blog I like that I thought the owners had closed. Well, they had but they moved to a new provider and resumed posting. I was glad to see Steve and Warren back. Their lives aren't much more exciting than mine but it's nice to know they're out there.

I found them when I was investigating the area they live in while considering applying for a job. I didn't get the job, which is probably ok, since they live in the fucking north woods and I'd have been dealing with snow a lot more than I am used to, which we know I do not love. But I've kept up with their blog.

Today I'm taking it easy, only working one job, keeping one appt and then relaxing this evening. God that sounds almost intimidating I get to do it so rarely these days.

And it's about to be even more rare for a few weeks. I'll be giving my only day off to the show the next three weeks. If I make it through the academic year with these idiots it'll be a miracle. I've already been insubordinate with the Dean, and the future holds no promise for our relationship.

And so it goes:

Love

Well I thought you'd never say it

"I think an overwhelming portion of the intensely demonstrated animosity toward President Barack Obama is based on the fact that he is a black man, that he's African-American," Carter told NBC News. "I live in the South, and I've seen the South come a long way, and I've seen the rest of the country that shares the South's attitude toward minority groups at that time, particularly African-Americans."

"That racism inclination still exists, and I think it's bubbled up to the surface because of belief among many white people -- not just in the South but around the country -- that African-Americans are not qualified to lead this great country. It's an abominable circumstance, and it grieves me and concerns me very deeply," Carter said.-cnn

Jimmy Carter may have been a terrible President, but when it comes to understanding in people and hitting the nail on the head when it comes to their motives he's almost always dead on. And this is no exception.

Of COURSE it's racism when a bunch of fat white Republicans get out and have "Tea" parties to protest his policies. Of course they're protesting his policies cause they don't directly benefit them. Of course, they think he's making this country into something of a welfare state so black people can understand it, cause all their simple minds understand is welfare and a handout from the rich white folk. This is the mindset of most fat white christian Americans.

That's because this country is still segregated, because though we like to pat ourselves on the back like L.A. when awarding Crash that undeserved Oscar in and effort to say they think they're so inclusive that they purposely disregard the best film of the year cause it's protagonists are mo's, cause they know they're racists, they know they're full of shit, and they know what they're doing is wrong, but they're doing it anyway.

If they weren't so fucking stupid and so fucking selfish they have the good sense to be ashamed.

But they don't so here we are.

The only thing we really have to fear are the fat white Republican Christians. Too bad we don't have the sense to fear them enough to do something about them.

Oh! They're also inundating Schwarzenegger with calls to veto Harvey Milk Day. A day of commemoration which requires nothing. Their tactics to get this veto are fear tactics. Quelle Surprise!

Anyway, yesterday was a day when things blew up. When things just went awry and I was powerless to stop them. My friends M & C in southern New Mexico are incommunicado. I know not why. I suspect its because they just moved and the new academic year has started. I'll hear from the eventually so I'll just wait, but I'd like to get a few laughs out of the current situation before it passes. It's turning into a circus, and I'd hate to see them miss all the fun.

However, I have to run errands for the University before I go there this morning so I better get a move-on. Here's hoping that things are better today.

And so it goes:

Love

this just has to be shared

The payoff comes and it's not monetary

But it's still pretty fuckin' good.

(the following is completely immodest, but I have to share it with you. It's so cool I can't believe it happened)

Last night I worked my class until about 8:53. I take about ten minutes with each student, I let them read their monologue and then work with them a few minutes to give them tips on what to do for next week. Some of them act all over the place, which is to be expected of young actors without any training, and there are things I can do to help them stop that. I like to make what I call the computer analogy. I ask,"Do you have a computer?" (so far everyone has) then I ask then if they've ever heard of the phrase that a program is "running in the background?" and they also have always answered yes. Then I tell them that I can stand there and discuss acting theory with them for months without ever exhausting the topic cause so much has been written on the subject. But what's important is that no one ever comes to the theater to watch them act. That all that stuff we discuss, and all those tips I give them should be running in the background. They seem to get this and it's fun to get them to laugh at the notion that they've got a pgm running in the background but it works.

So I stopped and sent them home, they'd worked enough and been very patient when it wasn't their turn.

I closed the room and headed for the car, but as I turned the corner into the lobby of the theatre I heard someone behind me. "Professor?" Still not used to that title I kept moving and when I heard it again I realized that I was the likely target owing largely to the dearth of people in the lobby of the theatre on a Monday night. I turned around to see one of my students approaching. "I wanted to talk to you before but when class ended you were surrounded by students so I decide to wait, But I have to tell you what a privilege it is to be in your class. This is not my area, and I know nothing about it, and I didn't get up there at all this evening, but it's so interesting to watch you work with everybody and you keep it moving so well, that I can't believe 3 hrs has passed when it's over. So thank you."

My tarot cards keep saying that I'm a person who does what they love because they love it, not because of the financial gain. This morning I've discovered that the University doesn't plan to pay me today, so it's gonna be a bitch to make the car payment this week. But the payoff I got last night...well...speaks for itself doesn't it?

(update: I have to interject a little rant here. I just found out that the University doesn't plan to pay me this month at all. That the type of position I hold only gets paid twice a semester. So I won't get a paycheck until NEXT month on the 15th, and then not again until the end of the semester. This is problematic, as you can well imagine. Not only that but they've communicated very poorly, which I find ironic since my boss is the Dean of Communications. Not only do I find this ludicrous I find it insulting. I didn't spend almost a decade in college only to be treated with such callous disregard. AND today I asked if it were possible to add to the Purchase order I finally got yesterday and I was told no. Since I forgot to add fasteners and glue etc to the order. They offered to reimburse me if I were to purchase it, as though this were my problem. I've always wanted a University faculty appointment and I thought initially I was happy I got one. Right now it's taking every single ounce of my self-control not to get dressed and drive out there to give them their faculty ID and keys. Had I intended to draw money out of savings to make the car payments, I would never have taken on the hassle that has been this job. I'd have stayed home and relaxed. Un-fucking-believable.)

I other news, we lost Patrick Swayze. Not that we didn't know it was coming, but he was still too young. I'm glad he's done with the battle though. It's tacky but when I see some of the pictures of him around today I'm reminded of a line I heard when JFK Jr. died. Some queen says "They kept showing pictures of him with his shirt off...I didn't know whether to cry or beat off." I don't think Patrick would mind the joke.

We have a young guy at the grocery who missed a day last week for medical tests he didn't have planned, and now he won't talk about it with anyone. I don't think he knows exactly what is going on yet, but I hope it's not serious. He's a pretty good little guy. If it's is serious I hope it's one of those things that is highly curable in young men. He's only 23.

Kanye West turned on the waterworks on Leno last night I'm told. Not only was I teaching and couldn't watch, but that set of tools wouldn't catch me watching either of them let alone both. Apologize to this Kanye.

And this made me smile:

"The Iraqi man who threw his shoes at then-U.S. President George W. Bush last year was unapologetic for his act of protest after his release Tuesday.

Muntadhar al-Zaidi speaks to reporters shortly after his release from an Iraqi jail.
"I got my chance and I didn't miss it," said Muntadhar al-Zaidi, speaking to reporters shortly after he was freed from jail.
"I am not a hero and I admit that," he said. "I am a person with a stance. I saw my country burning."
Al-Zaidi, who was serving a one-year sentence after the jail-throwing incident on December 14, was given a "conditional discharge."
Under Iraqi law, a "conditional discharge" allows for the release of a prisoner after he serves three-quarters of his sentence, on good behavior.
Soon afterward, the 30-year-old journalist was led into the studios of his employer, Al-Baghdadia TV, where he spoke to reporters wearing a sash in the colors of the Iraqi national flag around his shoulders.
Al-Zaidi said he was compelled to act after witnessing what the U.S. invasion had wrought on his country: orphans, widows, refugees. Watch more about Al-Zaidi's release »
He said that he promised those affected by the war that should he get the opportunity, he would avenge their loss.
That chance came at a December 14 news conference when al-Zaidi threw both his shoes at Bush and called him a "dog" -- two of the worst insults in the Middle East. Bush ducked the shoes and was not hurt.
During his remarks, al-Zaidi offered one apology: to fellow journalists who perceived his act as unprofessionalism. Was a jail sentence too harsh a punishment?
"Professionalism does not preclude nationalism," he said.
Al-Zaidi was sentenced to jail for "assaulting a foreign head of state on an official visit to Iraq."
His original three-year sentence was reduced to a single year by an appellate court in April.
The journalist's family and supporters had waited for two days outside the Baghdad jail where he was held, initially hoping he would be freed on Monday, but procedural delays kept that from happening.
Last week, al-Zaidi's family prepared for his release, plastering the walls of their modest Baghdad home with his posters.
"We are happy, like any detainee's family would be happy for the release of its son after the bitter time he spent in jail," brother Dhirgham al-Zaidi said.
He said the family had received many phone calls from supporters across the country who planned to travel to Baghdad and welcome al-Zaidi after his release.

Though many Iraqis hold Bush in low esteem, opinions were mixed in Iraq following the incident. Some viewed al-Zaidi as a hero, with thousands taking to the streets, calling for his release; others said his act went against Arab traditions of honoring guests.
Al-Zaidi's brothers said they had been offered many gifts and financial rewards, though they had rejected them. -(cnn)

Gods bless his shoe-throwin' little heart. Thank God he missed they'd probably have had to shoot him and we all know George would have let them.

Speaking of dogs, did I mention that Steve the dog has found not only health care, but a happy home? There is a no-kill shelter about half a mile from my apartment so yesterday i went there looking for help. They told me that if I relinquished ownership they'd have their vet treat him for the heartworms and that they had a guy who was looking for a pointer pup to raise. I met him a few minutes later when he showed up and met Steve. Talk about a happy ending all-round!

And so it goes:

Love

Opinion monday

I should say first that I do not watch MTV anymore. It lost it's appeal to me long ago.

I am amazed that it's still drawing audiences after all this time.

I will also say that KANYE WEST IS AN ASS! OH AND HE"S A COWARD TOO! HIS WEBSITE WON"T TAKE NEW REGISTRATIONS! ISN'T THAT INTERESTING? OF COURSE I INTENDED TO GET ON THERE AND SAY EXACTLY WHAT I SAID HERE AND I WILL TOO AS SOON AS HE GROWS A PAIR AND LET'S NEW PEOPLE REGISTER TO COMMENT ON HIS SITE. THIS IS ONE OF THE BIG STARS YOUNG PEOPLE IDOLIZE TODAY AND THIS IS THE PUBLIC BEHAVIOR HE EXHIBITS. WORTHLESS DISRESPECTFUL DICK.

Serena Williams, pretty shitty sportsperson!

Sounds like the black folks are being picked on here at Coyote Tales today, so what, if you're wrong you're wrong I'm not walking on eggshells cause of the color of your skin. Besides both of these folks are a helluva lot richer than I am. And we all know that today it's not about what's right, or what's moral, it's about how much money you got and the rules of the market.

So fuck them both eternally.

I'm pissed off at Barack Obama too. He's about to fuck up health care worse than it is already and he simply won't wage the war that needs to be waged against the Republican guard who thinks the status quo is alright. It's not alright, and anyone with a conscience knows it. Fuck him too.

On a lighter note, after much consideration I have decided that the problem at the university is not mine and I refuse to own it.

I have also decided that though I love my friends and cherish their friendship, and that even though I was hard on a couple of them recently I don't regret what I said. I know neither of them liked it, but they needed to hear it AND they asked for it. So though they'll both be upset with me for a while over it, they've got the same clothes to get glad in. Love you.

I've also decided that I simply cannot afford the very expensive treatment that this new dog apparently needs, and that though I'd love to keep him, cause he's extremely sweet that it's best that I relinquish ownership of him and let the powers that be exercise their authority to treat him and hopefully make him better so someone else can adopt him.

Would you like to be the first person I encounter this morning at the office?

Ain't they lucky?

And so it goes:

Love

hgf

And so it goes:




Love

The only thing we have to fear...

Is weeks that go by quietly.

Something's coming.

It might be good, which is of course, my hope.

I don't get that impending doom feeling so I think good is at the heart of it, but it remains to be seen.

This week has been so quiet and calm it's almost unbelievable.

The biggest excitement yesterday was causing my students to lose bets with each other on whether I'd remember to ask them about Everyman. I can't imagine why they'd think I'd forget.

ahem

But the week has been pleasantly quiet. The buying things at the University dilemma has been resolved. Quite by accident I called this place to inquire about opening an account, and the guy said, "But...the University already has an account with us."

I fell to my knees in supplicant joy.

There were several risky conversations in class last night about controversial subjects. I talked about a lack of respect for the Presidency, and totally disliking George W Bush, I talked about my mention yesterday of idiots who kept their kids home rather than hear a speech from Obama only taught their kids to fear the big black boogey man in the oval office, (that was risky) and I said something to the effect that Gods are universally created for religious purposes.

I expect if I don't cool it I'll hear from the dean. I just got carried away last night.

But for today I'm spending a few minutes cleaning up a couple of messes left me by my new addition to the family.

Meet Steve:


I haven't had a chance to get him a kennel which we're going to need. So I put him in the bathroom when I left last night to go teach.

Today I'll drop the poster that he somehow knocked off the wall at the framer's for new glass and pick up a kick plate to cover the chew marks on the bathroom door. I was not happy when I came home.

Oh well.

I got my Cobra info from the library yesterday. A full week after my health insurance expired, and it's only $70 a month more than my car payment. Guess who's without health insurance?

I'll look into getting it on my own.

The rest of the week is minimal, I have a couple of appointments and this afternoon the adjuster is supposed to come look at my windshield to determine who gets to replace it. So I'm planning to take it easy today. Yeah!

I've got a couple of pots to make today anyway. Steve needs new bowls.

I've recently fallen back in love with Peter Facinelli. His career has had quite a few prurient bright spots in my estimation. Supernova being the first time I really took notice of him, and then more recently Nurse Jackie. I know he's in the Twilight pictures in some capacity, but I simply can't make myself watch that vampire crap. Too many nights at the drive-in with Buddy I guess.

Oh! And that schmuck who heckled the President last night? Well he was from every crackers favorite state of course, South Carolina! You can read the summation of crackers from the south here. Why don't they just secede once and for all?


And so it goes:




Love

The week that won't start

I told you four day weeks are interminable.

I was at the grocery for 8 hours yesterday. That sucked.

Thankfully the people are nice, and though almost all the customers have control issues, (if you want to really see people at their worst deal with them over money or food) they manage to remain mostly calm, though there is the occasional nutjob.

But running a cash register is NOT what I signed up for after a decade of college. So I'm a little twitchy on the subject.

Today is my first face to face with the powers that be after my little bombshell of Friday. I can't wait. Either I'm well regarded, and thought of as someone who's resourceful and responsible, or I'm that pain in the ass that has to go at the end of the year. I'll be able to tell soon, this guy's pretty transparent.

Oh, and Sunday one of the Deans at the community college sent out an email that he'd found a dog wandering by his house and had been unable to locate it's owner after days of searching, so the dog was free to a good home.

Guess where he lives now?

It was time. I hadn't had a dog in 17 years. The last was a great dog who lived to 16. I had to have her euthanized and I felt like I did it with my own hands for a long time. That combined with the fact that I never felt I was in a good situation for a dog I just kept putting it off.

His name is Steve.

Let's hope this relationship goes well.

I'm still incensed by the notion that the conservatives and the igmnorami who live in fear think it a bad thing that Obama told the students of America to stay in school yesterday. They managed to tell their children, among all the other stupid things they teach them, that the big black boogey man in the oval office is to be feared cause he's not like us.

Smart.

Maybe Steve and I need to become hermits.

I swear if I could find a small college somewhere that would let me teach my subject and let me live in peace I'd go there in a second.

Sometime today I have to make a Petsmart run. Leashes, food, chew toys. I'm going to make him some bowls. And they gave me a bed he likes so that's next to mine in the bedroom. Our first night went quietly. Of course, I had one of those nights where sleep is a thing that comes and goes so I was up after 4 hrs and then every hour on the hour until I finally gave up and took Steve out for a walk. It seems he's already housetrained. Someone did all the hard work with this little guy already so I imagine they're wondering what happened to him.

I ran across a little androgynous blast from the past yesterday morning and thought I'd share. Some of you will remember him, and some of you will go ewww! But he was one of my favorites for a long time.

And so it goes:

Love

I love being wrong

Well I love being wrong when things turn out good and I don't expect them to.

Like on Friday.

It seems that those who received my email Friday morning got on the ball and got some answers. So I should be able to begin construction by the end of this week. VERY important.

I do however question the wisdom of someone who really should know better.

Who did my boss turn to for advice in this little crisis?

Someone with early onset Alzheimer's disease.

Tells me a lot about who I am dealing with, no?

Funny, but she was the one who made the most sense out of the whole bunch of them.

Her response: "I don't know a thing about that aspect of theatre. Never did. So I wouldn't know what to tell you if I knew what to tell you."

So it seems we may be on the road to some sort of success here. I'm hedging my bets as I always do when relying on others, but it looks good. We'll see how my rep fared in the aftermath.

It's technically Monday, so I've been playing admin catchup all morning with things that MUST be done at this point in the semester.

Then it's a return to the salt mines. Ick.

The weekend was lazy and lovely. Late night Friday after a production meeting. Stuck close to home Saturday since there were chores to do and it's amateur night out there during the holiday. Saturday night was fun, dinner here and cards with friends. Sunday, caught up on projects got that little fake wall thing mounted under the tv so I don't have to look at the wires anymore, nice. Monday I laid around, read a lot so I could prepare my classes tomorrow and get ready for the build. Lots of naps. It was lovely.

I caught up on some blogs I've not read in a while. Oh Saturday afternoon was devoted to reformatting the hard drive and re-loading all the pgms on the computer. Now that chore sucked! I always seem to erase files I' don't even know I need and then spend several hours trying to find them on the internet. It all came out fine, but damn it's a drag to have to do that. It appears the trojan is gone however and I can email again.

I'm befuddled over the consternation about Obama addressing the nation's children. WTF? Like no President has ever done that before? I love the idiot woman I saw on the news who was saying she thought it was indoctrination. First of all, I defy her to define indoctrination. Second, indoctrination to what?

I've said before and I'm sure I'll have to say it again, people have lived in fear for so long at the direction of that war criminal we had as our last President, that when someone tries to do something good they immediately suspect that person of malicious intent.

I read a blog by a guy who is convinced that Christianity will be the ruin of this country. Well,Duh! Isn't it already? Just about every nutjob you see on tv or the internet is some fat white christian person. Not that I am indicting only white people. Apparently Ludacris gave away 20 cars this past weekend in Altanta to people of many different colors, and when they came to pick up their cars one of the women did a little dance and said something to the effect "Thank sweet Jesus, the Lord done brought this car to me."

Well, no. Actually it was Ludacris who worked his ass off to be successful and HE brought you this car. We can't even give human's a little credit for their hard work, it has to be handed off to some mythical creature. Pathetic. Talk about indoctrination. I get a little sick/urpy when people start praising the lord for stuff they should be giving out a pat on the back for. That God stuff gets old right quick.

Have you ever noticed that four day work weeks seem to take months to pass? Welcome to such a season. Let's hope that the universe has light duty in store for us this year.

I was tacitly corrected by the universe this weekend. I made mention in HGF that the hot shirtless guy was about to be hard to come by by virtue of the fact that the seasons are changing, and everywhere I looked Saturday morning during an errand run was an outrageously hot guy without a shirt! Talk about needing to give credit to the LORD! I said "Thank You JESUS!" more than once that day.

And so it goes:

Can you blame him?

Love

At least it's HGF and a holiday

I'd say at first glance that this university thing isn't going to work out.

When they first called me last month one of the very first questions I had was "What's the production budget." See, the Technical Director, me, needs to know this when he plans for each production. That way he knows how much he has to spend. I'm silly like that.

I asked that very same question the next day.

I asked it the following week when we all met before school started.

I asked it again the next week when the show was auditioning.

I asked it again Monday.

I have, reasonably, a director who is asking questions about this set.

I have no answers.

Cause I have no money.

This problem woke me at 3 this morning. at 4:30 I sent off a missive to those concerned that they need to get on the ball and get me some answers and that the director needs to stop adding stuff to a show that might never get built.

They are about to learn how crazy a lack of communication can make me.

And for all my fussing and moaning about woe is me this week I need to note my good fortune too.

My parents old neighborhood is next to one of the most exclusive neighborhoods in the city. Yesterday, right after I poured out my little tale on this blog I got in the car to head to the chiropractor.

The most direct route is down the street I lived on as a kid and through aforementioned exclusivity.

I was doing 35 in a 25 when I saw them, yes, them, there were 2 cop cars.

They never moved.

The Gods were smiling on my speeding ass yesterday.

So it's Hot Guy Friday! And Labor day weekend all in one, ain't we lucky. I may be down one job, which would be ok too.

But let's take a look at that commodity that soon will be hard to come by, the hot shirtless guy.

And so it goes:






Love
Be safe and sane this weekend!

I do believe in spooks. I do! I do! I do! I do!

Gods!!!

What the hell is up with this week? It's GOT to stop soon. I'm ready to just sit down and wait for the locusts.

Monday I get this email from my stage manager telling me that it was discussed at the last rehearsal that they might want to hire some guy to build the set.

Hello?

Do they not understand how this works?

Yes, I know I was just last month throwing a fit cause I don't want to wield 4x8 sheets of plywood anymore, but that's not the issue here, not to me anyway.

I WAS HIRED TO BUILD IT!

It'd be nice to at least let me get the lumber order in before deciding that I can't do it. Needless to say this pissed me off.

I shot off a little missive asking for an explanation, to which I got no response. I guess "I will build the set." put them off. Chickens.

So Monday morning was spent with the dean trying to get a budget out of him and the knowledge of how to dispose of said budget. I have neither to this day. They simply seem clueless as to how to ascertain this info. And since gin isn't allowed on campus I went home. Still no lumber, no set, no budget. Show opens 10/2. Set is getting simpler and simpler.

I also rode the bike. went to pottery class and taught Monday evening. THAT at least was fun, we played in the theatre cause it was empty. I rarely have the chance to get my students in there cause it's always in rehearsal so when I saw it was empty I dragged them across the hall.

The phone crapped out Monday. It was only the battery but as per AT&T regs they were almost completely useless when it came to helping me figure it out and fix it.

Tuesday, well here it got interesting. The computer was acting weird when I got up and I wondered what the hell... but without sufficient time to do any investigating I went on to ride the bike and get ready to work etc.

On my way back from my ride the stereo in the car suddenly goes silent. Well this was disorienting, but I simply forgot I changed the bluetooth settings to do this, usually it mutes but doesn't turn off the stereo. My next mistake was to answer the phone.

One of my many bosses, this one happens to be 23, devastatingly cute, but 23 nonetheless,grrrr.

"Hey!"
"Hey!"
"You know you're supposed to be here at 11?" (Doc looks at clock it's 11:09)
"Is that a rhetorical question?"
"Nope."
"I thought it was 2. I'm about ten minutes from home, I'll be there in about an hour."
"k, seeya."
"Later."
CRACK!!!!

That would be the sound of the rock that flew out of the dump truck in front of me taking out my windshield. I tried to get a plate number a truck number anything that would tell me how to identify the truck and all I could get close enough to ascertain was the company name and that the decal on the drivers door was trying to come off.

I went home and while trying to shower, shave and eat called the company. I won't bore you with more detail but suffice it to say the conversation was frustrating. I truly didn't figure they'd try to turn it into their insurance and that I'd just have to buy a new windshield this month. A laughable thing if you knew anything about my finances right now.

I told one of the customers to ring up his own damn groceries. That should tell you how the rest of the day went.

Wednesday the computer went insane.

Warning boxes came flashing on the screen that there were too many smtp's I found over 30 svchost.exe's running when there should have been like 7. I couldn't access the internet without waiting forever. Every time I tried to investigate things got worse.

I now know it's called malware, and this was a particularly vicious form of it. It kept trying to hijack my computer, it overloaded the internet connection, finally the computer refused to boot up at all. It was a safe mode kinda day. Sadly I wasn't smart enough to realize that was the metaphor for my entire life this week.

Now, since the school year has begun and I have to work four fucking jobs to make ends see each other.(they do not meet, but can wave to each other on occasion) I have little time to devote to the cause of what the fuck is this now, with the computer. Things must simply work.

I know, I'm delusional.

I dl'd several "fixes." I went to microsoft's website and begged for help. I even got on a couple sites I know of where everything isn't exactly on the up and up. No one could help.

Every time I tried something this damn Trojan prevented me from getting at it's files. As it got more and more control I wasn't even able to access the internet and my little pictures of the two computers in the taskbar were both constantly lit up.

Again more details that would be boring but I finally unhooked the damn modem, and started the format of the hard drive.

I also had to appear at the company who is trying to get out of buying me a new windshield so they could take a picture of it, I had meetings at the university all morning, I had to be at pottery class and then teach in the evening. I also had to scan and email several students their monologues so they could work on them over the holiday, I also had to juggle money since there are more paycheck issues.

Then the Ipod quit in the car. It was only the cable but I still thought I was going to cry.

So as I said I'm waiting patiently for the locusts and it appears they may have arrived in the form of two honeybees that have made their way somehow into my apartment and are flitting around my head as I write, blissfully unaware that they are about to die.

So that explains my absence this week.

I have high hopes for the next two days and then three off. Yeah!

I was just looking at the gin supply, it needs replenishing if I am to make it through Friday night.

So in the spirit of making it through this highly strange week I say to whatever adversity may rear it's ugly head this next 48 hours before I can cut loose and relax, "Put 'em up! put 'em up!"

And so it goes:


Love