The soul has greater need of the ideal than the real for it is by the real that we exist, it is by the ideal that we live

Friday, August 3, 2007

Being Me

I suppose that's going to be easier said than done. At my age(50) it's likely to take a while to get comfortable with who I am since I've spent most of my adult life not liking who I am.

I'm 50, I'm single, I'm well educated, I'm gay, and I'm struggling to learn how to be happy. I don't think it has anything to do with my being gay, though. I think it has to do with how I've always been perceived by others as a gay man. Not living my life trying to be all things to all people is going to be a difficult thing to unlearn.

Baby steps.

First, learn to like myself, then worry about others. I think my dislike of myself has always been the biggest reason I don't have a relationship, and can't maintain one when it does come along.

Putting this stuff out there is the first step I think. I know I'm not alone in this, and I know there are others who have been and are going trough it, so maybe I can pick up a few pointers along the way.

Here's hoping.

There's a full life out there for me, and I know I can live it, if I'll let it happen.

The New Me