After that epiphany on Saturday over ex's lack of allure,and the complete lack of desire to have what he calls a life, I have seen other things that need to change, like my job. I've never been happy there, I've never felt welcome, I've never felt they intended to allow me to contribute in any meaningful or fulfilling way. Their philosophy seems, in general, to be, "You're going to screw things up, so in order to prevent that, and protect my civil service territory I will never really allow you to own anything, I'll never really rely on you to do anything that will stretch you OR my role, I'll give you just enough to do so that it looks like I'm using you, but mostly you'll sit and play on the internet."
I'm experiencing atrophy!
I'm also seeing that the universe is giving me subtle hints about where things are headed. My time here may be at an end. The resident flunky at the stables called to tell me that I can't leave my tack there anymore cause "they don't have the room," I'll likely find that they have the room for others, just not me, when I get there this weekend. So, that brings to a close the chapter with them.
And though I approach all this impending change with an enormous amount of trepidation, I kind of welcome it. I guess I'm just one of those who can't sit still and let life assimilate itself onto terminal boredom.
I have plenty of talents, I have plenty of education, I have more than enough drive and determination, so I doubt I'll starve, but I'm beginning to think it's time to start the search for a job in that place I want to be. I know times are hard, and that it might be difficult, but better I should get out there and enjoy my life than succumb to the rigors of staying where I'm no longer wanted.
And so it goes.
Morsel time!
Love
