How do they do it?

I've become convinced that the Kansas City Royals are engaged in a conspiracy to make me have blood pressure issues. 

How is it possible to start he inning with a 3 run lead and by the and of it be down by 2?  My jaw and the floor are becoming well acquainted this spring.

Ray Lahood is my new hero.  Yes, you read that right, Former Republican Congressman Ray LaHood is da man!

He wants to give bicycling a voice in American transportation. I was dumbfounded when I read that on ridemonkey.  Amazing, someone realizes that it's a form of transportation and not just a toy.

Truckers associations are not happy with the notion they might have to share some of their tax booty though, you can bet they'll fight LaHood tooth and nail.

My case is this.  I live exactly 4.5 miles from one of my jobs.  I live 8.2 miles from the other job.  I could and would happily bike to both.  Problem?  No way to do it in any expedient manner without riding on a busy street, which in rush hour is not gonna happen.  Not only by my own safety standards,but by the simple logic that I'd get killed by some idiot either driving with a cell phone in one hand and a Jeep Cherokee in the other, or be purposely run down.  Yes I've had people aim their cars at me while riding on the shoulder.

There ARE  bits and pieces of bike paths between one of the jobs and here, but they're circuitous and patchwork, and they add time and miles to the ride. Why can there not be a bike path alongside those busy thoroughfares for us bike riders?

No reason at all, except money.  The RNC spent $1946 last month on a visit to Voyeur, I have to wonder how much bike path that would buy.

So props to y and the DOT!  It's one of the few reasons I think this administration will need to be a two-term administration. (If Sarah Palin would just get the nomination that'd be possible)

These past few days I've seen lots of cyclists on the road, and they're no longer bashful about taking their share of the road. unfortunately that'll stop when motorists pick off a few of them, which happens every year. I agree that the only way to get our share of the road is to take it and refuse to give it up to cars, but it's a risky proposition.


I don't see the Catholics in the news today. Which makes me wonder what they're up to. Gotta keep an eye on those bastards.

I may have been hasty in my appraisal of the college in the west.  I found a form on my desk that I should have sent with the packet on the 25th, they let me email it to them. This means several things 1. they did get  my packet. 2. The search committee hasn't made any decisions yet. 3. My concern that they haven't taken the job off the website yet is unfounded because I realized that they keep them up and post the addendum (interviews scheduled) (interviewing) etc. after the job title during the process.

So it may not be over after all. And that's only the job I'm interested in at this point, there should be others soon. April is renewal month after all.

A new computer may be in my future soon.  this one has crashed twice in the last week.  I'm pretty sure it's because of software I installed though so when I get a chance tomorrow I'm going to take it back off and hope the problem goes away.  A new computer isn't in the IRS's budget this month.  

Update:

I spoke too soon:

By Philip Pullella

updated 30 minutes ago

VATICAN CITY - Gay groups and politicians condemned Pope Benedict's number two on Wednesday for calling homosexuality a "pathology" and linking it directly to sexual abuse of children.

The comments made by Cardinal Tarcisio Bertone during a visit to Chile, and the controversy they caused, were splashed on mainstream Italian newspapers on Wednesday.

The French foreign ministry and some Catholic blogs that support the pope also condemned the cardinal's remarks.

---

As the scandal over sexual abuse of children by priests has spread, some in the Catholic Church have called for a review of the Church's rule that prohibits priests from marrying, saying marriage would allow priests to enjoy a healthy sex life.

Bertone, the Vatican secretary of state, who is sometimes called the "deputy pope," told a news conference in Santiago on Monday:

"Many psychologists and psychiatrists have shown that there is no link between celibacy and pedophilia, but many others have shown, I have recently been told, that there is a relationship between homosexuality and pedophilia.

"This pathology is one that touches all categories of people, and priests to a lesser degree in percentage terms," he said. "The behavior of the priests in this case, the negative behavior, is very serious, is scandalous."

Gay rights activists reacted with derision and outrage.

"This is a scientific absurdity. The World Health Organization calls homosexuality a variation of human behavior. It is pedophilia that is a pathology, a crime, not homosexuality," said Franco Grillini, a former parliamentarian who was at the vanguard of Italy's gay rights movement.

"Because they have their own problems with the abuse crisis and don't know how to handle it, they are trying to pass their 'cross' from their shoulders on to ours," Grillini told Reuters.

The French foreign ministry called it an "unacceptable linkage that we condemn."

Criticism from Catholic blogSome pro-Vatican Catholic blogs said more controversy was the last thing the Vatican needed.

"Pedophilia and homosexuality: Bertone trips up — again — on gays," read a post in the Italian-language "Blog of the Friends of Pope Ratzinger."

It said the pope might now have to "clean up the mess made by his right-hand man."

A front-page editorial in Rome's left-leaning La Repubblica newspaper titled "The Confusion in the Church" said Bertone's comments would end up causing the Church more "harm to itself, not homosexuals."

Bertone was also criticized by Alessandra Mussolini, a right-wing parliamentarian whose grandfather, wartime Fascist dictator Benito Mussolini, sent gays into internal exile.

"You can't link sexual orientation to pedophilia ... this link risks becoming dangerously misleading for the protection of children," Mussolini said.

ArciLesbica, Italy's main lesbian rights group, accused the Vatican of using "violent and deceptive statements" to divert attention from its abuse scandal and said Italian parents should consider removing their children from Church-run institutions.

The pope did not make any direct reference to the crisis facing the Church during his weekly general audience.

He may address the issue when he visits Malta this weekend. Ten Maltese men who are suing three priests for alleged child abuse have requested a private meeting with the pope.

Vatican spokesman Father Federico Lombardi said he could not say if a meeting would take place. The pope has met victims of sexual abuse during trips to the United States and Australia.

And so it goes:

Just did my taxes...oy!

 My first question while doing my taxes was "What the fuck did I do with all that money?

 My second question was "How in the hell am I going to pay this bill?" This is, of course in direct relation to my current underemployment status, which sucks, but I have this sneaking feeling that the IRS couldn't car less about my financial dilemma.    Fuckers.

ok,so I didn't get all that stuff done yesterday, cause I spent two ours doing my brothers taxes. I had thought I was through with theirs, but we got rejected by the IRS and thank GODS we did, cause we submitted the wrong draft and instead of a refund which they could then use to pay their state taxes, it said they owed...a lot.  So, I fixed all that, added something I'd omitted, and got them printed and mailed.  Thursday I have to pay the  piper.  Not a minute before.

Rode the bike a bit yesterday for the first time this year.  I'm feeling pretty good considering how far I rode.  I hadn't intended to go 10 miles but next thing I knew I was 5 miles out and having too much fun, so I turned around.  I thought I'd be sore today but I'm not really. Going out in just a bit again for a morning ride before work.

I don't think my scales work. No, seriously, stop laughing. I got up this morning and they said I weighed 179.6.  I went back to bed for 45 minutes and got back on them and they said I weighed 184.3.  I'm sticking with 179.  We'll see when I put pants on this afternoon.

Got the cast picture re-sized and framed yesterday.  On Saturday I went to Hobby Lobby and Bought frames and frames he poster and re-framed a poster from the first show I directed a decade ago that was never framed properly, added the show to my CV and put the program in my portfolio. Done.

Turning my attention to the article below, which I've been avoiding.  Yet another exercise in hypocrisy by the catholic Church.  I'd work out my hatred of that organization in this post, but I'm certain there isn't enough room.  I was never molested, I was never sexually-abused, BUT, I did suffer from the rampant hypocrisy, and the constant denial of reality.  I have noted before that those people don't celebrate their faith, they mourn it, and go around way-laying themselves with self-hatred all the day long.  And they expect their followers to do the same.  it's unconscionable.  

And after wielding shitloads of political power for centuries they cash it all in for this:

 

 

Connecticut bishops fight sex abuse bill

From Jamie Guzzardo, CNN

April 11, 2010 10:30 p.m. EDT

The proposed change would put "all Church institutions ... at risk," a letter from Connecticut's Catholic bishops says.

Hartford, Connecticut (CNN) -- A bill in Connecticut's legislature that would remove the statute of limitations on child sexual abuse cases has sparked a fervent response from the state's Roman Catholic bishops, who released a letter to parishioners Saturday imploring them to oppose the measure.
Under current Connecticut law, sexual abuse victims have 30 years past their 18th birthday to file a lawsuit. The proposed change to the law would rescind that statute of limitations.
The proposed change to the law would put "all Church institutions, including your parish, at risk," says the letter, which was signed by Connecticut's three Roman Catholic bishops.
The letter is posted on the Web site of the Connecticut Catholic Public Affairs Conference, the public policy and advocacy office of Connecticut's Catholic bishops. It asks parishioners to contact their legislators in opposition of the bill.
The "legislation would undermine the mission of the Catholic Church in Connecticut, threatening our parishes, our schools, and our Catholic Charities," the letter says.
The Catholic archdiocese of Hartford also published a pulpit announcement on its Web site, which was to be read during Mass on Sunday, urging parishioners to express opposition to the bill.
The bill has been revised to address some of the church's concerns about frivolous abuse claims against it, according to Connecticut state Rep. Beth Bye, one of the bill's sponsors.
"The church didn't recognize that this bill makes improvements," Bye said. "The victims -- their lives have been changed and some will never recover from years of sexual abuse. For me, it's about giving them access to the courts."
Under the bill's provisions, anyone older than 48 who makes a sex abuse claim against the church would need to join an existing claim filed by someone 48 or younger. Older claimants would need to show substantial proof that they were abused.
"They were worried about frivolous lawsuits and so we made the bar high," Bye said.
The bill does not target the Catholic Church, she said.
The bishops' letter raised concerns that the bill would allow claims that are 70 years or older, in which "key individuals are deceased, memories have been faded, and documents and other evidence have been lost." The letter said that the majority of cases would be driven by "trial lawyers hoping to profit from these cases."
The bill passed in Connecticut's House of Representatives, and Bye said the state Senate should vote on it in the next week or two.

And so it goes:

Postponing the inevitable

I was less busy when I was working full time.  Today i have taxes to do, laundry, papers to grade, loads of laundry to do, and with this incredible weather I insist on taking the bike out for a ride. All this not to mention the fact that in about half an hour someone will be here to clean the carpets, AND I have to teach at 6.

Dixie carter has left us.  Sad, 70, from where I stand isn't that old.  No offense to those whippersnappers in their 40's, but seriously, look at all this from an AARP membership point of view and it takes on a whole new dimension.  So quit yer fuckin' whinin'.

Saw the latest episode of Justified last night. Surely I love that show for another reason than the obvious.  Is it possible that I could be that shallow?  (well, yes, yes it is)   I like the show though.  i'd probably watch it if Olyphant wasn't in it...probably.  In my defense, I like Breaking Bad too, and neither of it's stars are particularly attractive to me.  So there, I'm not shallow.

Even though it's well done I could never get into Mad Men.  tried, Jon Hamm is hot and I love watching him in it, but it's just not enough.


Ok enough procrastination.

Maybe not.

And so it goes:

 
 

There are good ideas and there are great ones

And I think Sarah Palin and Newt Gingrich as a GOP ticket in 2012 is a spectacular idea. 

She's such a universally recognized doofus and he's such a known...well, what is Newt?  Let's see, he's a philanderer, he's a liar, he's, if I recall correctly, a tax evader, he was brought up on 84 ethics charges by the house while he was speaker, oh yes, and he was conducting an extra-marital affair while prosecuting Bill Clinton for getting a blow job.  Yeah, Newt's a great guy. 

Sarah, well, she's after a little bling and that's about the extent of her ambitions.  And the Tea Party are her big supporters and since they've proven themselves to be a bunch of fucking nuts I see a wonderful future for all three of them.

As for me, a little time at the grocery this morning, and then a nap is in my future, followed by martini's and dinner.

The college in the west I applied to hasn't even closed their search that was scheduled to end last Friday.  I'm a little insulted.

And so it goes:

 

Don't know what to do with myself

The phone isn't ringing, there aren't 6 people demanding my attention at once, I don't have anything to plan for in the next 15 minutes, I actually slept until I woke without an alarm last night.

I could get used to this.

Someone clipped the front corner of my car the other day while I was parked somewhere, I just noticed it last night. It's not catastrophic, and since the collision deductible is $500 i figure I'll just fix it myself. The bumper is scraped a little and there's this teeny little dent in the bottom of the fender, it could actually be covered with a bra, but I'd still know it was there. parts for cars are cheap nowadays, I do not know why, but I can get a new fender and bumper cover for less than $300 amazing. I have to paint them of course, but that's not hard. I could actually skip the bumper and just paint the one I've got it wasn't torn or anything, and since it was the corner it didn't use up the one time use on the bumper absorber thingy underneath so it's still good to go. We'll see how expansive I feel when I start to order stuff.

Cnn has done something stupid. they lent credence to an already discredited author who claims homosexuality can be cured. Richard Cohen, who had his sexually confused nads handed to him by Rachel Maddow on MSNBC a few weeks ago is still promoting his sick little agenda. And without a balancing viewpoint a la Fox news, CNN presented his simple-minded ideas to the world. What could they possibly have been thinking? They're hearing about it, and they'll hear from me too. they should hear from you as well. I have to wonder when someone somewhere is going to assume responsibility and fix journalism so it reverts back to it's original function. To report the news not make it. And to give us info not tell us what to think.

Even though GLAAD has issued this call to action, I say call CNN anyway. (GLAAD is useless IMHO) Kyra phillips has done several gay pieces recently all with a decidedly anti-gay slant and she needs to be taken to ask for it. As do her editors.


Contacts:

Kyra Phillips
Anchor, CNN Newsroom
Kyra.Phillips@turner.com
(404) 827-1500

Karen Zuker
Producer, CNN Newsroom
Karen.Zuker@turner.com
(404) 827-1500

Bridget Leininger
CNN Publicity
Bridget.Leininger@turner.com
(404) 827-1500

And so it goes:

hmmm

Considering the length of people's memories, I have to wonder if they'll remember this is November.

Confederate History Month sparks anger in Va.

Civil rights leaders decry ‘offensive’ move; governor predicts tourism boost

By Anita Kumar and Rosalind S. Helderman

updated 5:29 a.m. CT, Wed., April 7, 2010

RICHMOND, Va. - Gov. Robert F. McDonnell, reviving a controversy that had been dormant for eight years, has declared that April will be Confederate History Month in Virginia, a move that angered civil rights leaders Tuesday but that political observers said would strengthen his position with his conservative base.

The two previous Democratic governors had refused to issue the mostly symbolic proclamation honoring the soldiers who fought for the South in the Civil War. McDonnell (R) revived a practice started by Republican governor George Allen in 1997. McDonnell left out anti-slavery language that Allen's successor, James S. Gilmore III (R), had included in his proclamation.

McDonnell said Tuesday that the move was designed to promote tourism in the state, which next year will mark the 150th anniversary of the start of the war. McDonnell said he did not include a reference to slavery because "there were any number of aspects to that conflict between the states. Obviously, it involved slavery. It involved other issues. But I focused on the ones I thought were most significant for Virginia."

---

The proclamation was condemned by the Virginia Legislative Black Caucus and the NAACP. Former governor L. Douglas Wilder called it "mind-boggling to say the least" that McDonnell did not reference slavery or Virginia's struggle with civil rights in his proclamation. Though a Democrat, Wilder has been supportive of McDonnell and boosted his election efforts when he declined to endorse the Republican's opponent, R. Creigh Deeds.

"Confederate history is full of many things that unfortunately are not put forth in a proclamation of this kind nor are they things that anyone wants to celebrate," he said. "It's one thing to sound a cause of rallying a base. But it's quite another to distort history."

'Sacrifices'The seven-paragraph declaration calls for Virginians to "understand the sacrifices of the Confederate leaders, soldiers and citizens during the period of the Civil War."

McDonnell had quietly made the proclamation Friday by placing it on his Web site, but it did not attract attention in the state capital until Tuesday. April also honors child abuse prevention, organ donations, financial literacy and crime victims.

After a fall campaign spent focusing almost exclusively on jobs and the economy, McDonnell had been seen in recent weeks as largely ceding conservative ground to the state's activist attorney general, Ken Cuccinelli II. The proclamation could change that view among Republicans who believe appropriate respect for the state's Confederate past has been erased by an over-allegiance to political correctness, observers said.

"It helps him with his base," said Mark Rozell, a political scientist at George Mason University. "These are people who support state's rights and oppose federal intrusion."

Said Patrick M. McSweeney, a former state GOP chairman: "I applaud McDonnell for doing it. I think it takes a certain amount of courage."

The Virginia NAACP and the state's Legislative Black Caucus called the proclamation an insult to a large segment of the state's population, particularly because it never acknowledges slavery.

"Governor McDonnell's proclamation was offensive and offered a disturbing revision of the Civil War and the brutal era that followed," said Del. Kenneth Cooper Alexander (D-Norfolk), chairman of the Legislative Black Caucus. "Virginia has worked hard to move beyond the very things for which Governor McDonnell seems nostalgic."

Emergency meeting King Salim Khalfani, executive director of the Virginia State Conference of the NAACP, said his group will hold an emergency meeting Saturday to discuss a series of problems it has had with McDonnell since he was sworn into office in January.

Virginia has had a long, complicated history on racial relations — long before Richmond served as the capital of the Confederacy during the Civil War. Many of its most prominent early residents, including future presidents, owned slaves, and the state openly fought desegregation, even closing schools instead of integrating them. But in 1989, the state made Wilder the first African American governor in the nation since Reconstruction.

McDonnell said Tuesday that people's thinking about civil rights and the role of the Confederacy in Virginia history have advanced to the point where "people can talk about and discuss and . . . begin to understand the history a little better."

"I felt just as I've issued dozens and dozens of other commemorations, that it was something that was worthy of doing so people can at least study and understand that period of Virginia history and how it impacts us today," he said.

'Distraction'The state's new governor campaigned relentlessly on improving the economy and creating jobs and received the strong backing of the business community. But the attention that Virginia will receive from the proclamation might take away from that focus.

Rozell said the proclamation is a "distraction" from McDonnell's desire to attract companies to Virginia. Businesses might begin to perceive McDonnell's latest decision — combined with Cuccinelli's decision to sue the federal government over health-care reform legislation and his advice to state colleges and universities that they remove sexual-orientation language from their anti-discrimination policies — as a pattern of behavior not conducive to relocating in the state.

Allen caused a national uproar when he signed a proclamation drafted by the Sons of Confederate Veterans. It called the Civil War "a four-year struggle for [Southern] independence and sovereign rights" and made no mention of slavery.

Gilmore modified the decree in 1998 by adding a condemnation of slavery, but it failed to satisfy either defenders of Confederate heritage or civil rights leaders. He later changed the proclamation by dropping references to Confederate History Month and instead designated April as "Virginia's Month for Remembrance of the Sacrifices and Honor of All Virginians Who Served in the Civil War."

But in 2002, Mark Warner, Gilmore's successor, broke

But in 2002, Mark Warner, Gilmore's successor, broke with their actions, calling such proclamations a "lightning rod" that did not help bridge divisions between whites and blacks in Virginia. Four years later, Timothy M. Kaine was asked but did not issue a proclamation.

This year's proclamation was requested by the Sons of Confederate Veterans. A representative of the group said it has known since it interviewed McDonnell when he was running for attorney general in 2005 that he was likely to respond differently than Warner or Kaine.

"We've known for quite some time we had a good opportunity should he ascend the governorship," said Brandon Dorsey of the Sons of Confederate Veterans.

Sen. Emmett W. Hanger Jr. (R-Augusta), who has spoken from the floor of the General Assembly about honoring Virginia's Confederate past with appropriate acknowledgments to its difficult racial past, said he believed Warner and Kaine "avoided" the issue by failing to issue similar documents.

"It would be totally inappropriate to do one that would just poke a stick to stir up old wounds. But it is appropriate to recognize the historical significance of Virginia in that era," he said. "I think it's appropriate as long as it's not fiery."

McDonnell's proclamation comes just before the April 17, 1861, anniversary of the day Virginia seceded from the union.

One mo' time

Today is my last day to teach full time, at least for a while.  One class this afternoon and then I'm through. I cleared out of the office and took everything home.  It's kinda liberating not to have to keep up with someone else's schedule and lesson plans.   Not that I haven't had fun doing this, because I have, but it wasn't my semester, it was one designed by someone else and I had to give it back somewhat intact.  I couldn't just come in and reinvent the whole thing like I did his show.  This requires a little more continuity.  

Alas, it's in the history books and i'm glad I can rest from this afternoon until tomorrow afternoon when I have to resume my own classes. Poor things, all but ignored this past month.  We'll take it easy on poor old me tomorrow though I can guarantee that.

So why do you suppose the Cuban government has chosen now to release that picture of Elian Gonzalez?

Governments so rarely do anything that's not calculated so I'm wondering what this is about.  Elian's birthday, apparently a national holiday is December 7, I don't get it.  Something's afoot or they wouldn't have done it.

A principal in Tennessee, (surprise, surprise), has sent a young man home from school because he was wearing a t-shirt that said something like "I (heart) lady gay gay."  Perhaps not the wisest choice of garments in Tennessee, but hey it's the kids choice.  But again we'll see a school district go to court over a students right to free speech.  the kids mom made a very good point, "Administrators have not sent home students who wear religious shirts and those bearing the rebel flag, she said."-towleroad.  Let's see if Tennessee is more enlightened than Mississippi.

Every time I write of Tennessee I am reminded of a friend from grad school who hailed from there.  He was always quite the exception to those southern rules I bandy about so freely.  Of course, in Hollywood all these years later he could have become a Scientologist, who knows. let's hope he's as smart as I always thought he was.

And so it goes:

 

Almost back to normal..whatever that is

Well, the show is over.  It went ok.  I'd have preferred things go a little differently, but I have to remind myself that these kids are barely out of high school, and their experience is limited.  So all in all i was happy with it. 

I was taken quite aback by the level of immaturity from one of the students i expected it from least.  he had repeatedly asked me if he could do something at the curtain call he knew before asking that i'd say no to. And I'm sure he did it to get to rise out of me, cause that's always entertaining.  But Saturday night he actually did one of the things I expressly told him he could not do.  I was not pleased.

In the end he took a calculated risk to impress his friends in the audience and it cost him not only his actor/director student/teacher relationship with me, but any chance of being cast in a show of mine again. Being the expert at student communications I made sure one of his comrades knew my feelings, knowing she'd meet him at the door minutes later.  He studiously avoids me now. He may be smarter than I gave him credit for.

Anyway, I 'm getting rested, and today begins the return to some sense of normalcy.  I go back to the grocery for a bit today then teach the rest of the week.

Mississippians are still being cowardly bigots, the pope is still hiding behind his altar boys, people are still going to jail to prove their point about gay rights,  and not much has changed since I last wrote here regularly.

BUT!  There are green trees outside my window, the temperature outside is decidedly more welcoming when I venture out,  I see people in the parks, and soon, perhaps tomorrow or Thursday I myself will be able to go out and play. 

I cannot wait.

So, hope is still alive, perhaps we will actually live one day in a world where the hatred borne of Christianity will no longer be a scourge on the land, and we will all see that letting others live their lives without the interference of religion and it's hateful ideology is truly the way to that light everyone seems to be seeking when they flock to houses of worship.

I have to note that the college rents out our theatre to a church every Sunday and  this Sunday was no exception.  In light of the fact that it was Easter I requested that the powers that be reiterate to the church group that they needed to, as stated in their rental agreement, be out and clear by 1pm so we could take possession of the theatre for our matinee. They did this, but not until after rearranging much of our set, using and rearranging actors personal belongings in the dressing rooms, and making sure their displeasure at our presence was registered.  They also drove the wrong way down the college drive as they exited. 

All that praying and preaching didn't even get them to their cars.  I find it ironic,sad, and unfortunately not a bit surprising.

And so it goes:

no time

the following posts are all out fo order and i ahve no time to figure out how to re arrange hem.  Read the last one first.

And so it goes.

colo

colo, originally uploaded by Niebieski..

all that other hot mess aside I'll leave you for the week with the sexiest man of the day. OOH lala he's a hottie. I'm such a sucker for a hairy tummy.

MÓVEIS

MÓVEIS, originally uploaded by felipemorozini.

well now I'm just confused. Back to sexy without clothes.

MÓVEIS

MÓVEIS, originally uploaded by felipemorozini.

wait I'm sensing a theme emerging from this hodgepodge

MÓVEIS

MÓVEIS, originally uploaded by felipemorozini.

odd but also sexy without clothes.

Sebastian

Sebastian, originally uploaded by JustTin.

sexy without clothes

F-Stop

F-Stop, originally uploaded by powerbooktrance.

also sexy with clothes

HGF

, originally uploaded by KevinHartmann.

Sexy with clothes

The conundrums we create

The show is done.  Well, my job is anyway.  They open tonight and it's a good little show, they can be proud of it, I will be.  Of course, they could always have an off night, one can never tell. Nature of the beast and all that rot.

But here's my conundrum.  I keep thinking I'll make a post like this on my facebook page...then I don't.  It's not that I'm not proud, it's not that I don't want to tout the accomplishment, it's not that I have any trepidation telling everyone what I did.

it's the people on facebook who will know what I'm doing.  It's joining the common tradition of telling the world my most mundane business.  It's the lack of humility it takes to get on a public forum and tell others just what a great thing you think you just did.

I can't do it.  I've tried three days in a row. Click on the "What's on your mind" box, and nothing...fingers freeze, I get tongue-tied as it were, and cannot formulate a proper sentence to communicate what I want to say there.  Just doesn't feel right.   

So, here where I feel more free to elucidate my feelings and express what it is that truly concerns me will I continue to return for the outlet I apparently need.

I also decided this week that since I am, much to my chagrin, human.  I am therefore not immune to the neuroses of relationships.  Dammit!

So realizing that what I've been doing for quite a while now with my ex, is playing the "I like you, but you don't like me, and now that you like me I don't like you" game.......deep breath.........I asked him to accompany me to dinner and the performance of my show Saturday night. 

He accepted.

And so it goes:

I'm too old for this shit!

I'd swear that I'd never do this again, but I know I will.  I just need rest, which will come in a few days. This job is so funny.  I get angry and swear off this profession, and yet every time it comes for me I go willingly. 

Just not quite as fast as I used to.

And so it goes:

Well I thought you'd never say it

Ricky Martin: 'I Am a Fortunate Homosexual Man'

Posted 56 minutes ago by Access Hollywood in Stop The Presses!

NEW YORK, N.Y. -- After years of keeping quiet about his personal life, pop star Ricky Martin has announced that he is gay.
"I am proud to say that I am a fortunate homosexual man," Ricky said in a message posted on his offical Web site. "I am very blessed to be who I am."
VIEW THE PHOTOS: Gay & Lesbian Hollywood
Ricky said writing his memoir and thinking about his two twin sons led him to go public.
"To keep living as I did up until today would be to indirectly diminish the glow that my kids where [sic] born with. Enough is enough. This has to change. This was not supposed to happen 5 or 10 years ago, it is supposed to happen now. Today is my day, this is my time, and this is my moment," he wrote.
VIEW THE PHOTOS: The 'Vida Loca' Of Ricky Martin
Though the 38-year-old kept his sexuality private throughout most of his career, Ricky said he drew strength from that time.
"These years in silence and reflection made me stronger and reminded me that acceptance has to come from within and that this kind of truth gives me the power to conquer emotions I didn't even know existed," he continued. "What will happen from now on? It doesn't matter. I can only focus on what's happening to me in this moment. The word "happiness" takes on a new meaning for me as of today. It has been a very intense process. Every word that I write in this letter is born out of love, acceptance, detachment and real contentment. Writing this is a solid step towards my inner peace and vital part of my evolution."
Earlier this month, Barbara Walters told The Toronto Star that her 2000 interview with the "Livin' La Vida Loca" singer, where she grilled him about coming out, was a misstep on her part.
VIEW THE PHOTOS: Hollywood Dads
"In 2000, I pushed Ricky Martin very hard to admit if he was gay or not, and the way he refused to do it made everyone decide that he was," she told The Toronto Star. "A lot of people say that destroyed his career, and when I think back on it now, I feel it was an inappropriate question."
Ricky also Tweeted a link to his coming out announcement on his Web site, simply writing, "my life."
VIEW THE PHOTOS: Celebrity Gays & Their Gal Pals
In an earlier Tweet on Monday, the singer posted a quote attributed to the late Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.
"Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter. M.L.K.Jr.," he wrote.

It takes a zealot...

I read this morning about attorney Jim Anderson, who has been waging a legal battle with the Catholic Church over abuse allegations for years.  Well, good for him.  I hope he succeeds in bringing down e largest purveyor of hate in the modern world.  Not to mention haven for the delusional, self-loathing, and arbiter of all things holy. 

He says he re-discovered his faith in God when he became a recovering alcoholic.  Well, I hope his God is on his side, he'll need it against those rich bastards he's fighting.

Another headline I simply can't ring myself to read says: " 80's Stars Hall And Oates back in spotlight."  What did they do apologize for all that heinous music?

Last week as a full-time teacher, back to the grind next Tuesday. I'll miss it, hopefully only for a little while.

The show is proceeding apace.  We added the technical elements yesterday, and as I expected the entire show fell apart.  It took them the same amount of time to do the first act as it should to do the entire show.  And we only stopped once for two minutes for  a technical problem.  I can't be anything but accepting of their dilemma, it's a tough process, and they're kids.  They'll get it together, meantime we'll forge ahead.

 Levi Johnston, and Sarah Palin will have reality shows.  Please tell me what is real about those two?  PLEASE!


And as you may have noticed in the sidebar, some Texas hoodlums were sentenced for their heinous attack on gay bar patrons in Galveston. (They chunked 4 pound pieces of rock in the door hitting people in the head.  One young man has no balance and stutters as a result.) One took a deal and got 5 years. The other pled guilty and got 20 years.  I'm sure they'll be fine upstanding Texans when they get out of Huntsville.

Yesterday I inadverte4ntly engaged in a conversation with my LD about job hunting in academia and she asked why I'd only applied for 6 jobs this year because she had applied for 45.  (everything is a tape measure contest with this woman.)Then I informed her that I only apply for jobs thatare west of the Mississippi, and NOT Texas.  Guess who's a Texas native. 

Sick as I am I felt much better after that..

And so it goes.