The soul has greater need of the ideal than the real for it is by the real that we exist, it is by the ideal that we live

Sunday, January 31, 2010

work space

I read a blog called guyfromnchicago.  It's author Justin published a picture of his workspace the other day and invited his readers to do the same.

Here's mine:

Friday, January 29, 2010

HGF

Have a good one!

Thursday, January 28, 2010

There's been a death in Cornish

Thank you Mr. Salinger.

Where to begin?!?!

I hardly know how to start this morning.  There's so much to talk about and yet I still have to teach this morning.

First, I accidentally threw caution to the wind last night and got an H1N1 vaccine.  I didn't plan to.  I'd heard lot's of horror stories and thought that since I'd gotten the regular flu shot I'd leave it at that.  But the boss came to me all excited telling me they were free for employees so I marched right over and got one. So far I feel fine. Perhaps they were just horror stories after all.

What the fuck was all that last night?

I'm gonna do this, and I'm gonna do that, and I'm gonna go door to door and give out hand jobs for the next three years.

Please.

Alito's lack of respect was astounding.    When exactly did it occur that Representatives and Justices felt free to comment openly in the house chambers when the President is speaking?  is this a new development?  Or is is just a group of disgruntled unmannerly conservatives who wouldn't dare do that to one of their own exercising their right to be professional dicks?

It was completely inappropriate.  And yes I'd have said the same thing if a democrat had done it to George Bush.  It just isn't done.

Now as far as the speech goes.  I didn't hear the whole thing, I was working and got busy.  But what I did hear was pretty much pointless.

We're not going to get a jobs bill, nor a tax credit for small businesses, nor a repeal of DADT.  This guy is delusional. That group over there on the right who sat stoically all night and didn't respond to anything that was said was quiet because they were trying to conceal their erections like a bunch of teenage boys.  They've got a filibuster again and they intend to use it.

Don't kid yourself, when it comes to screwing the pooch the Democrats have it figured.  And last night was nothing more than  circle jerk. I remember those, they were fun,but never as productive as one would imagine in their fantasies.

And he totally pissed me off withy, "Math and science, Math and science, Math and Science. then the dumbass talks about "the well-rounded individual (another favorite term of mine.)

IT TAKES MORE THAN MATH AND SCIENCE TO MAKE A WELL-ROUNDED PERSON YOU ASSHOLE!

Math and science make them a bot. art, literature, history...the humanities, make them think.  I know you don't really want that, but if you don't then don't talk about a well-rounded person, it's hypocritical.

And Howard Zinn died. What a well-lived and long life that guy had.  He taught at several noted universities, got his Doctorate from Columbia, and died at 87.  What more could one ask?  I read this morning that on his last day at Boston University he ended class 30 minutes early so he could join a picket line and urged his students to come along.  100 of the 500 did just that.  Sounds like Howard lived his conscience.

Now that's Valhalla.

And so it goes:

Love, cause it's all you got.

Wednesday, January 27, 2010

Lap Dogs are in fashion

Michelle Obama is bringing herself a gay lapdog to the State of the Union tonight.

Apparently they've found themselves a good little gay boy from Indiana who wants to sit dutifully on her lap all evening and prove we're presentable for decent company.

I could puke.

Sorry, Bigg, I just can't sit still for this one. I know I said I'd let him off the hook, but seriously, enough is enough.

Richard Rothstein at Proceedatyourownrisk is taking Bil '(with one "l")'(rothstein) to task about  his need to kvell all over his own blog and the internet yesterday about how happy he is, in his Log Cabin sort of way, that this has happened. Why, I can't imagine.

It seems we've been so isolated for so long that we can't see an insult when one is clearly presented to us. Well, at least Bil '(with one "l")'(rothstein)can't.

We all know how this works. Someone gives to the party, or the HRC, or GLAAD, and they're a darling of the fund-raising circuit so they get invited to things if they're not any trouble. (My annual C-note gets me more requests for money, that's about it. And I stopped giving to the HRC long ago.)

My ex has a very sweet dog whose presence is seldom minded when he brings her along to events unannounced because she's so well behaved. (sorry Aly, love you but you were the best analogy I had.)

Same thing.

So this fund-raising lap dog has got himself invited to the big show tonight
and we're all supposed to say, "Thank you Miss Michelle."

Wanna Bet?

And so it goes:









Love, cause it's all you got.

Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Now he's a Republican

So Mr. Obama now wants to freeze spending for three years.

Pardon while I ask the obvious question.

WTF?

Does this guy have a clue?

I can assure you that he's now a one term President.

There's no way he's going to hang onto the office after all this.

The guy who said he was against influence of big insurance, and then to demonstrate his position endorsed a bill to REQUIRE us all to buy health insurance.

The guy who said he'd repeal DADT who now never heard of us.

the guy who said stimulus money would be our salvation and where are THOSE jobs I'd like to know?

Not that I'd want one, they'd be for hod carriers or the like and I'm way past hod carrying age thank you.

Today I read this article on msnbc.com:

Victims of bullying face lingering health issues
Australian study links childhood torment to later aches, even more colds
By Linda Carroll
msnbc.com contributor
David Goodman remembers the dread he felt as a kid getting ready to leave for school each morning. A chubby 12-year-old at the time, he knew he’d be taunted with his hated nickname, “Chunk,” all through the day. He also knew that the harassment wouldn’t be limited to name-calling. The neighborhood bullies would always be thinking up ingenious new ways to torment a quiet, sensitive kid — such as the time they stole his bike and tossed it up on top of a jungle gym
Like many parents of her generation, Goodman’s mom thought the solution was to tell him to learn to stick up for himself. That advice never helped. What ultimately brought an end to the bullying was a growth spurt — he shot up 6 inches in the eighth grade — and success on his junior high football team.
A 42-year-old state senator from Columbus, Ohio, Goodman now looks back and says he’s found an upside to all that bullying: it made him tougher and at the same time more empathetic to the suffering of others. But, he says, “some 30 odd years later, it still hurts.”

Although people like Goodman can sometimes find a positive outcome to the bullying they endured as children, there is now mounting evidence that many are left with scars — in terms of poorer mental and physical health — that can last a lifetime.
A study just published in the Australian and New Zealand Journal of Psychiatry found that adults who were bullied as children were more likely than others to suffer from depression and anxiety, as well as a host of physical ills, including fatigue, pain and a greater susceptibility to colds.
The researchers asked nearly 3,000 Australian adults about their physical and mental health and whether they had experienced severe, routine bullying by peers as a child. Just under 19 percent reported that they had been victims of regular and traumatizing bullying, either physical or verbal.
After taking into account factors that can impact mental and physical health, such as age, gender, income, employment, education and marital status, the researchers found that bullying was linked to later problems with mental and physical health.
No one knows exactly how bullying might lead to future physical health problems, says the study’s lead author, Dr. Stephen Allison, a researcher in the department of psychiatry at Flinders University of South Australia. But, he adds, scientists suspect that the daily stress of being bullied can translate into long-term damage to your body.
Stressing the mind and body
When the brain senses a threat, it activates your fight-or-flight response. That sparks an increase in hormones such as cortisol and adrenaline, priming your body for action. Your heart speeds up, your muscles tense, your blood vessels narrow and your digestive system slows down. When your body is kept on high alert for long periods of time, tense muscles can become painful, while your stomach can start to ache.
Discuss on Newsvine
Poll: Bullied as a kid? Share your stories
The changes brought about by chronic stress can also lead to increased inflammation and a weaker immune system making you more susceptible to colds.
Allison and his colleagues found that adults who’d been bullied as kids reported poorer overall health and said that health problems often got in the way of both work and leisure activities. Those who had been bullied also were more likely to report body aches and pains and to complain of low energy levels and fatigue.


The new study extends to the more immediate effects other researchers have noticed in bullied kids, says William Pollack, an associate clinical professor in the department of psychiatry at Harvard Medical School and director of the Centers for Men and Young Men at Harvard’s McLean Hospital.
Bullied kids are more prone to feelings of loneliness, depression and low self-esteem, as well as physical ills like headaches, abdominal pain, nausea, and recurrent upper respiratory infections and sore throats, Pollack says. Pollack also consults with schools that are trying to develop anti-bullying strategies.
He hopes that the new study, coupled with earlier research showing that bullying can also hurt kids’ self-esteem and school performance, will spur teachers and administrators to take the problem more seriously.
Click for related content
1 in 4 teenage girls involved in violent behavior
Strict bedtimes may fend off teen depression
‘Choking game’ more popular with rural kids
"Zero tolerance" policies
Schools have begun to taken notice and have declared "zero tolerance" policies towards bullying. With the recent spate of horrific cases — like that of the boy set on fire in Florida and the Missouri girl who committed suicide after being tormented with vicious text messages — grabbing headlines lately, it has become clear that bullying is not simply a normal part of growing up.
But in some cases, parents are quick to point out that school stances don't necessarily translate into concrete action.
Carie Maeshiro, a 47-year-old administrator from Scottsdale, Ariz., says she has been battling for a year and a half to get her son’s school to step in and protect 12-year-old Garrett from the group of boys that have been tormenting him.
Initially the bullying was limited to verbal abuse, says Maeshiro. But it’s escalated over time. Some days the boys follow Garrett home and pelt him with dirt clods. Recently the group’s ringleader kicked Garrett and warned, “I’m going to bust you up.”
Experts say there are some things parents can do to help their child while pushing the school to do more.
One strategy that won’t work is telling your child to stand up for himself and fight back, says Alan E. Kazdin, a professor of psychology at Yale University and director of Yale's Parenting Center and Child Conduct Clinic. If you tell your child to stand up for himself, you’re just going to make him feel more isolated and alone, Kazdin says. “It’s one of the more insensitive responses, because you’re telling the child to do something he knows he can’t do.”
Bullies are very sophisticated in their choice of who and where to bully, Kazdin says. “They choose the child who by nature is less likely to be able to fight back. They hit when they know the teachers can’t see them.”
What parents can do is to help develop their child’s confidence, Kazdin says. The best way to do that is to encourage them to get good at something they’re interested in, for instance, joining the school band or trying out for the cross-country team.
Parents also need to remember to help repair the damage that bullying does to a child's self-esteem, says Pollack. “You need to tell the child that this isn’t happening because there’s something wrong with him.”



So what's the answer?

Oh wait I know, let's stop spending money on the kids, let's stop education spending, and here in Kansas let's make the supreme court revisit their 2007 decision to force more spending on education.

And what's the first thing we'll get rid of? Oh! I got it! The arts. All kids really need is sports to burn off all that energy and be healthy (cause they're so healthy now) and to learn math and science. Then they're good to go.

This is the decision making process of the very people we've chosen to run our education system.

I made mention several times this month about education wanting those who are the least problematic on their payrolls. The biggest downside to the desire to live wearing rose-colored glasses is that it encourages, nay, fosters the very apathy that is our undoing.

When the leaders aren't active, aren't leading, aren't encouraging each and every one of us to find what we do best and pursuing it with a passion we're breeding failure. It's our responsibility to provide every tool to help our education system furnish every possible learning tool available. That means history, arts, music, the whole package.

We've likely got some incredible talent we'll never know about because we never once encouraged that person to follow their passion. They'll go to work for Allstate and sit behind a desk for 30 years, pining over the knowledge that they could have been a "contender" if only someone somewhere had encouraged their talent.

In creating No Child Left Behind we left almost all of them behind. We created a system in which they were mere pawns in the game to justify our existence. Their education was the farthest thing from the minds of the masterminds of that system.

Obama has told us all that he's going to find a way to reward the teachers who are doing an excellent job. Yet he's done not one thing but pay it lip service.

Franklin Roosevelt, controversial figure he was, knew that the only way to get the country moving again was to employ the populace. Get the fuckers working so they can spend some damn money!!! That's where the stimulus money should have been spent instead of wherever it went. Create jobs programs, There's tons of work besides that on the highways and byways of this country that needs doing, and do we spend money on that ? Fuck no, we ignore the development of the capability of our citizenry in favor of a bridge. Dumbasses.

People is the answer, not things. Do we need highways? Well, yes, yes we do. But with no jobs to go to why would we need them?

Obama is now proposing we stop spending money. For what? To what end? What possible good can this do except to ensure his reelection. We need a leader who can lead, not some guy who shits himself every time something goes wrong and then does an about face on his stated principles.

He was a huge mistake (not that John McCain was a better choice)and now we're paying the price.

And so it goes:

Love, cause it's all you got.

ed note: I think I like the new template, I hope you do as well. Now I just have to figure out how to use all of the features. Bear with me please.

Monday, January 25, 2010

Sidetracked

For reasons passing understanding I sat down here this morning and wanted to see Neil Patrick Harris do the Shoe Fairy.



It's how I feel this week.

(you know I'm in a good mood if I post a musical number)

And so it goes:

Love, cause it's all you got.

Thursday, January 21, 2010

The Narcisists are due in San Diego

I had a post all prepared for today about Betty Broderick and all the reasons she should remain in prison for the rest of her life...and then I went to work.

So though I'll still post the Betty Broderick diatribe I have to take a moment here and say yet again how much I love teaching. I didn't keep them the whole class period, I didn't even scratch the surface of what we'll talk about this semester and I still had a blast. after I stayed another 40 minutes and talked with two students who are contemplating where to go to finish their BA's. I'm not counting my chickens, but I think it's going to be a fine semester.

Now, back to Betty. I learned this morning that she was denied parole, which is just. I'll be almost 70 when she gets another chance, she'll be almost 80. I doubt she ever understands what she did. But pity is no reason to let her out.



Narcissist/Murderer Betty Broderick wants out of prison. It's a tough call.

Rehabilitation is impossible. Narcissists are incapable of understanding that they did anything wrong. They're the victim, they're never the aggressor.

Ask Betty why her ex-husband and his wife got shot to death in their sleep. She'll tell you that she went there to kill herself in front of them and when they moved she shot them cause she thought they'd call the police. (see, their fault) Having had nearly disastrous encounters with narcissists in the past I can promise you that what Betty says is a lie. But with no one to disprove it, she could go free.

OJ is another good example of a narcissist, he's reportedly told people after Nicole Brown's murder, "If she hadn't opened that door with a knife in her hand she'd be alive today." her fault)

The narcissisitc personality can't, and honestly does not want to understand others in any way. What they decide they want is paramount and they'll do anything to make it happen. They'll manipulate, they'll lie, they'll kill. No problem.

Narcissism makes the victim think they're insane. And that makes the narcissist look good. They're very proactive when it comes to making sure everyone knows how much they do for their loved ones and how many sacrifices they make for them.

The victim is treated very differently in public than they are in private. in public the victim may be ignored while the narcisist gives all their attention to others and pretends to be the perfect wife, father etc...

In private they're haughty, sarcastic, insulting, and put people,(even their friends)behind their backs. (www.narcissismcured.com)there are those who say that narcissism can be cured, but I've never seen any evidence to support that contention. For anyone to be cured of anything they must first recognize that there is a problem, and Narcissists do not think there's anything wrong with them, it's everyone else.

I once had a conversation with a narcissists regarding potential repairs to their car. Within three minutes they were almost in a rage over the poor job someone was GOING to do on their car. And the repairs hadn't even happened yet.

I knew a narcissist who spent 20 years in a marriage making sure everyone knew that she was her husbands victim and that he was abusive and neglectful. after they divorced she married a wonderful guy and attempted to get others to believe that she was trapped in a loveless marriage in which she was again the victim. When it was made clear to her that no one believed her she stopped this tactic and began attacking him directly. He died of a heart attack in less than 2 years.

So, though I personally think narcissists should all be locked up together so they can only punish each other, and that this should be recognized as a mental disorder even though therapy is useless, I fear we'll continue to see this disorder ruin relationships and families.

Betty's is already ruined, she may as well go free so she can wreak havoc on those closest to her and leave the rest of us alone.

She's going to anyway.

And so it goes:




Sleep makes me productive

Well at least the prospect of sleep makes me productive.

Yesterday I bought a memory foam mattress topper thingy. I may never leave the apartment again.

Though I was pretty productive before that anyway. I got all sorts of things done. Including my evaluation from the college which was quite good thankfully.

Speaking of which last evening I finally noticed that the proverbial deadline that clears away all those neuroses was looming so I sat down and wrote the syllabus for my class, made the calendar for the semester, wrote the worksheets for their analyses, and the guidelines for their critiques. Then I worked on the lumber order for the set.

No wonder I slept well.

Today school starts for me and though it's a bit of a chore I'm glad, cause this waiting and watching tv thing every evening is killing me. Gods how do people do it?

Oh! And more gray skies in the offing. Today it's to rain, then be gray tomorrow, then rain again on Saturday and possibly snow on Sunday. Shit!

Here's hoping I have a fun motivated group of students who want to learn and think it's fun to do so.

That would be fun.

And so it goes:

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Figures

Dear Martha Coakley:

Here's a little something for you:

http://www.shaws.com/pages/toolbar/careers.php

It's a link to the applications page for Shaw's supermarkets in Boston, about the only place you're going to be getting a job around there very soon. Dummy.

Former Democrat
The New Me

One really has to fuck up to lose the Democratically controlled seat held by a Kennedy in Massachusetts for almost 50 years. Seriously, a concerted effort has to be made to lose an election like that.

Well now perhaps we can watch Prop 8 win in the California courts (read, run by the Supremes) Then New Hampshire and a couple others will strike down their current laws regarding marriage, and that'll leave the door open for Florida to criminalize homosexuality, and Gods know the rest of the south will gladly and rapidly follow.

Can you tell it's been gray here for over a month and it portends to continue for at least another week until it snows again. Seriously, I've been looking at real estate where the sun always shines. one doesn't get much for what I can afford, but at least it's not this interminably gray sky that does nothing but spit at us. Hell, I live in 700 sq ft now, what's a 70 sq ft reduction? besides where I'd be I'd always be outside anyway.

There's also the possibility of the mountains with a 200 sq ft increase, and acreage for horses with a National park as a neighbor. So there are many choices to be made.

I'm trying to figure out how to do both and split my time between the two. I think with my work experience I could make it happen, 6 months in one and 6 months in the other. Why not?

Here's the view off the balcony of one of them:


And the Summer house: (I can dream big)


Since the Republicans are going to be taking over the white house again soon I figure I may as well head for the hills and hide out for he remainder of my existence, since no other country wants me cause I'm an American. And this looks like the best way.

then all I'll need is one of these:

And one of these:
>
And so it goes

Cross your fingers.


P.S. my next vehicle will be this:

And though I'd like the next car to be this:

It'll probably just be this:

Probably better than what Martha Coakley will be able to afford.

Love, cause it's all you got.

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Americans are so touchy

Yesterday I made mention of the fact that I believe that we elected as President a person of color because he was a person of color, not because he was the most qualified. Not that John McCain was more qualified, he wasn't, but we'd chosen this guy over a much more qualified woman long before it got down to McCain.

However, in my zeal to explain that we did what I think we did,I assisted someone I know in relocating their glutes ABOVE their scapula instead of their regular location.

Like I always, say, they've got the same clothes to get glad in that they got mad in. Funny how my daily disagreements with lack of equal rights for gay people, with a shitty education system, with mans inhumanity to man never get a rise. But let me take exception to Mr. Obama's lack of accomplishment at creating change and woowee I screwed the pooch there. Personally I could give a shit what color the guy is. He could be purple with orange spots for all I care, if he's not getting the damn job done that I voted for him to do, he's not doing what I put him there for. Let's not get all wrought up about someone not thinking the guy is great just because he was first.

Is it something to be excited about that a black man is President, sure it is. Is it still necessary to be realistic about what he's done and what he's going to do? Yes. It's like the old argument about life support in modern medicine, "Just because we can, should we?"

He hasn't changed a damn thing, he hasn't accomplished one thing he said he would, and he shows no sign that he will. That, along with the apparent cockiness of the Democrats over winning Massachusetts which appears to be going to cost them the state for the first time in almost 50 years means that Mr. Obama will be a lame duck. The Republicans will now be able to block anything they don't want. And they don't want a lot of Obama's ideas. If Brown wins today health care is dead. Marriage equality is dead. Banking regulation is dead. Repealing DADT is dead.That's how thin the margin has been, and no change has been made AT ALL!!!

And today Americans are all up in arms, literally, over the notion that when they pour into a country in huge numbers bearing arms along with their H2O and then attempt to run things in a place where they're guests, that the hosts however discombobulated at the moment, might take exception.

Now, I don't say take your water and your food and your heavy equipment and go home, but at least mind your damn manners.

France has no claim to Haiti, and I don't know why they felt it necessary to start pointing fingers, but it doesn't seem unlikely that we'd run into a country and start telling everyone how to run it. Now does it?

Funny we won't do it here, but everywhere else we feel perfectly free to instruct people on how to run their lives. I once lived in a town that proved you could buy one in a box and just put together the pieces. But there were no instructions to tell the hillbillies in charge how to run it. This realization came the day after I'd watched a tornado pass within half a mile of my home only to be informed the next day that "Oh, we don't have any tornado sirens. We decided it cost too much money to install them." Really? Gotta love America the land of dichotomies.

So,in light of the fact that homosexuality is about to be criminalized in America I think I'll go back in the closet, deny my gayness, marry a woman, live a lie, join a church, and vote only conservatively. It's what most people want me to do anyway. It makes it easier for them to bury their heads in the sand if we do what they expect and give no surprises. Toe the line and everything's fine. Make waves and you cause nothing but trouble for everybody.

Everybody who can't face reality that is.

I looked at real estate yesterday on the internet. I have new ideas coming on. I think I like them.

Last night I was watching tv, one of the things I rarely get to do, and someone said "If a man is over 40 and he's not married he's either a rascal or a pouf."

I contend one can be both.

And so it goes:

Love, cause it's all you got.

Monday, January 18, 2010

MLK

Martin Luther King Jr. probably would like to come back to clear up a few things. Like, I doubt he meant that we should just elect any ole black guy who ran for President. I think he held out the hope we'd be smart enough to look for a guy who could actually make a difference. Smart ain't our strong suit Doc.

The guy we got is better than George W. Bush, but what is THAT saying. Hell, I'm a homosexual, atheist, socialist, and I'D be better than George W Bush! But I think the problem is larger than the guy we wound up with being inexperienced.

Anyway, poor Michael King Jr. has apparently been misunderstood. Alas, I think we're stuck with what we got, and we'll be really cooked after tomorrow when the Republicans win Massachusetts for the first time in...well longer than I can remember that's for sure. Ted Kennedy will also want to come back and straighten out a few things if that comes to pass I'm sure.

I keep saying that apathy will be our undoing and I fear I'm more right on this point than I want to be.

For some reason my realization that the secret password to getting a job in higher educations is "Where da ya want these bags?" a la Rochester, has hit me pretty hard.

I have long wondered why there are so many people producing incredibly bad theatre in colleges all over the country, and now I know. The administration,
1.) has no clue what we do, nor how we do it.
2.) Doesn't give a shit about that.
3.) They don't want to know how dynamic you are in the classroom.
4.)They don't want to know how creative you are.
5.) Do not really care about the student's opinion of your teaching, unless it's negative.

They are interested in one thing and one thing only. They want to know how much trouble you're NOT going to be. They want you to go over in the corner and do whatever it is that you do without attracting any attention to yourself at all, unless it's gonna make them look good and then they're likely interested.

The entire world is donning rose-colored glasses and those of us who actually WANT to see the truth are being shunted off to the side like smokers with stinky breath.

It's apparently not apathy, it's denial.

This denial is allowing the dregs to rise to the top of the barrel. Like college presidents who lie,cheat, steal and then lie some more to cover it up. Evangelical preachers who profess we should be better than we are who then "keep there meeting for a cat-o-nine beating from a leather clad man named Moe." (thanks Stan).

How can we expect people to want to be realists anyway? If they live up to the ideals of their chosen religion their preacher turns out to be a child molester. They pride themselves on paying all they owe on time every time and the credit card companies screw them anyway. They entrust their children's education to a system that makes their child so stupid they can't find Canada on a map.

Denial is apparently a survival mechanism. But realism, it would seem to me, would be a better one. Let's look at things honestly and then work to fix them. We can change the way we're treated by corporations, we can change the education our child is given, and we can certainly change how this country is governed.

It'll take a revolution of course, but it's apparently necessary. Hate cannot continue to rule the day. Selfishness cannot continue to be our explanation. Denying responsibility is not our road to salvation.

I have to wonder who,what,when,where and why it'll happen and if I'll get to see it. knowing me I'll want to come back and straighten out a few things myself.

And so it goes:

Love

Friday, January 15, 2010

I'm drawn to those that ain't afraid...

Nothing untoward has occurred this week. Let me say that first.

I think it's the mid-winter doldrums that I've been experiencing. That and boredom since school doesn't start until next week, and I've got cabin fever.

But I think I've come to a realization. Higher education is not about free thinking at all! It's about not making waves, about not causing any trouble for one's "superiors," about doing what you do as quietly as possible so as not to draw attention to oneself.

There's been nothing to do these past three weeks but sit around and think. Which is always a danger when one is dealing with a person of higher than average IQ. They love what's happening at first, then they get bored, then they start to plot. I never got to plotting...well not yet anyway.

But it's come to my attention ever so slowly, since I always think everyone is the same person everywhere they go as am I, that it's a myth that college is about learning to think freely. Alas, nothing could be further from the truth.

It's been said, more than once, that I should teach Confrontation 101, that I am who I am wherever I am and no matter who I'm with.

The folks I've met in higher education seem to never find a problem they can't avoid, they seem to need to put a good face on things no matter what the situation. I want to deal with a problem head on, get it solved and move on. I want to look at things realistically and provide solutions. They want to produce Gurney, I want to direct Marber. The pieces don't fit.

I think I've found the secret password to getting a job in higher education and I don't think it's what I wanted it to be in my romantic fantasies. Pity.

I'd be sad if I didn't feel so free suddenly. I'd be angry if I didn't value my education for itself. I'd be depressed if i thought there was nothing else in life. Lucky for me I know none of those things are true.

One of my professors from grad school, an old friend, hadn't sent a letter of rec to a school I applied for in September. I emailed and asked him to do so and he said he would. He didn't. Now, in his defense he's a procrastinator,(part of his charm) he also knows I had no interest in going to the state this school was in because he knows me,(dammit) and he's never been less than enthusiastically supportive, so I have no reason to think he was hedging his bets suddenly.

But for the briefest of moments I did.

And it was during that moment when the light bulb went on over my head, when I realized what I had missed all this time I've wasted thinking that a job in higher ed was going to solve all my problems.

I realized that it's not the answer at all.

I am not known for playing well with others, and there's no reason to think at my advanced age that I'll suddenly find some love for people in general that heretofore hadn't existed.

So, though I'll keep an eye open for a good situation at a school that really does want free thinkers who want to make good theater, I'm casting the net wider.

Fortunately I'm in a comfortable position that I can work from until I find a situation better suited to me.

Oh, thank the Gods, it's like a giant weight has been lifted. Realization is a very cool thing,even if one doesn't realize good things, knowing the truth is always best.

See! Further evidence I don't belong in higher education.

And so it goes:






Love

Monday, January 11, 2010

Falling in love again...

Someone found George W Bush in a restaurant and videotaped their own heckling of the son of a bitch.



Young man I love you.

A blogger friend posted this on his facebook page. I was so grateful.

Now we have a study in contrasts. From someone finally giving George Bush a piece of their mind where he has no recourse except to take it. To this morning's historic court case challenging the constitutionality of Prop 8.

It's not constitutional, we all know it. But let's see what the liberal renegade judiciary says this time. I bet it goes down to defeat...again.

Besides it won't be decided for a long time since it has to go to the Supremes before it can end. We know that too.

Had a lovely conversation with a young guy in Bhopal this morning. I am still trying to get all the name change stuff done on the credit cards and loans and it takes forever.

I have decided however, that I'm going to have a little fun with it, so when I get a young guy on the phone and he's not cooperative I ask him things like "What are you wearing." For some reason that puts them off their game immediately. lol

At that point it'll go one of two ways pretty quickly. Either they'll give me what I ask for, or they'll hang up. It's 50-50 so far.

I discovered long ago that when I'm in a particularly hetero place, like the auto parts store and I'm the fag they're ignoring that I'll take advantage of that too. I start obviously checking out the guys behind the counter.

And TA-DA!! Waited on in record time and on my way. Works every single time!

So today it's the IRS, and Daimler Chrysler financial. that's likely all I'll have the strength for today. After that I have a production meeting and then I have to go to the grocery. Not Maui as some lucky folks get to do.

And so it goes:

I copied this picture from Proceed at your own risk this morning. Richard titled it "men at work" I ask you, how in the hell would one get anything done with THIS hanging around all day?

Love, cause it's all you got.

Saturday, January 9, 2010

HGS

Yesterday got completely away from me, no idea how that happened.

But this morning I'll make up for it with an extended HG(S) as it were.

BUT FIRST!

I have to make note of the state of our collective consciousness.

First we have a guy, Steve, who lived all his life in Detroit. Due to economic circumstances he lost his job three years ago as a manufacturing engineer. let's assume Steve made more than a Zamboni driver.

Steve has been unemployed most of the last three years. How this is possible I'll never understand, since I'd starve within the first 12 months after unemployment and the savings ran out. Yes, I'm sure there was a nice severance, but still...

Steve accepted an invitation from his sister to move to Portland Oregon, and try his luck at the job hunt there. He landed a job in a bakery, and a job, yes, you guessed it, driving a zamboni. he's ecstatic that he's been asked to stay on at both jobs after the holidays since they were, in the beginning to be temp jobs.

Now, yes, I'm a snob, and yes, I'm an elitist, and though I acknowledge that's bad, you should see real snobs and elitists in action. I've lived with them all my life, and they're no fun.

But my point here is bigger than that. We're reduced to such a desperate status that we're thrilled to get jobs as menial as driving a Zamboni, which should be a job reserved for a kid in high school, not some old dude with a resume that includes the title Manufacturing Engineer.

Teachers, who should be revered, instead of reviled and hounded from the profession, are reduced to clerks. Engineers who should be designing the new cars powered by natural gas that don't look ugly like the Prius, are driving Zamboni's. Yet Rupert Murdoch, and his ilk are holding our minimum wage earning asses hostage so they can extort more money out of our empty pockets so we can watch Paula Deen teach us how to give ourselves heart disease!

And we pay it.

We are the new serfs. And the Rupert Murdoch's of this world are the landed gentry we answer to. we don't answer to the government, and it certainly doesn't answer to us. That's a myth. We both answer to big business, and we do what we're told because we're too damn apathetic to do otherwise.

Our talents are not valued. Our desire to be a part of something is laughable. Want to write a great novel? No one cares. Want to be a great artist? No one cares. Have a burning desire to explore the human experience through performance?

No
One
Cares.

Now learn to drive a zamboni and live in a hovel burning dung for heat and eating whatever carcinogenic swill the big agricultural conglomerates put out that you can afford without complaint, and you are their kinda folks.
When are you gonna stand up and make it stop? What will it take?

We're not new, this has all been done before, the pity is that we're just going in circles.

If I ever write my memoirs it will be given the title "Everything is a circle in the air." (Credit to Art Bratt)Cause when I'm gone in a few decades, this will all be done again by others who didn't learn, just like we didn't.

A few more concise laments than mine:

George Wilhelm Hegel:

What experience and history teach is this -- that people and governments never have learned anything from history, or acted on principles.

Gustave Flaubert:

Our ignorance of history causes us to slander our own times.
H. G. Wells:

History is a race between education and catastrophe.
Jane Haddam:

People always seemed to know half of history, and to get it confused with the other half.

Karl Marx:

History repeats itself, first as tragedy, second as farce.
Walt Whitman:

Future years will never know the seething hell and the black infernal background, the countless minor scenes and interiors of the secession war; and it is best they should not. The real war will never get in the books.

And so it goes:












Love, cause it's all you got.

Thursday, January 7, 2010

Blizzard!!!! Yeah!

Well,it was worth the wait in my opinion. I haven't posted in a couple of days but last night I sat and watched a true snow storm, not the wimpy kind we usually have, but one that made me raise the blinds and open the curtains so I could watch it come down. At one point I couldn't see across the street it was blowing so hard. Very cool, especially since I needed nothing and had nowhere I needed to be.

Today is another matter altogether. I still have nowhere to be, but it's cold. Very cold. I know there are those hearty souls in Michigan and Minnesota and farther north where it's even colder than here (-10 tonight)and I applaud their fortitude. This, however, is plenty cold for me, thank you.

I'm desperate to get into he studio and make some pots, but I can't. Even though the studio is right here, there's a ton of snow between me and the door, AND even if I got it warm enough to go out there, I'd let out all the heat the minute I opened the door. Then I'd get to sit there and dip my hands in water all day. Doesn't sound inviting right now. maybe next week when it warms up back into the 30's.

In re-re-reevaluating my chosen career prospects I came to a realization. The two biggest choices I made, Theatre, and "medicine" are the two things I can do well, but don't want to have anything to do with the other side of. Meaning I can make theatre, and pretty good theatre at that, but when it comes to sitting in the audience, forget it. Same goes with "medicine"." I was pretty good at that, but when it comes to visiting someone in a hospital, sitting there doing nothing...can't stand it. Gotta get out. What's up with that?

One would think that I'd get a certain amount of peace from the other side of the issue, but no. Can't do it.

Need to look at that.

If you're here stay indoors, if not stay away until this goes away.

And so it goes:

Sanded, originally uploaded by evanembee.


Love

Monday, January 4, 2010

What's in back of the sky?

Why, do you suppose, that I am surprised that Bobby DeLaughter's going to jail today?

Surely he knew what he was doing was wrong, surely he knew he would get caught. Apparently not.

He's human, he made mistakes, sure. But with the high profile career he's had, and with the zeal he's approached his biggest cases...

I'm at a loss to explain why such a one would work so hard simply to throw it all away in the end.

Bobby DeLaughter will be lucky to get a job washing dishes next year when he gets out of prison. How did he get there?

Speaking of which, how did the Elton John, Eminem duo come to be? Elton has been helping Marshall kick his drug habit? Is this real is just Elton's self-aggrandizement?

Is Marshall really a homophobe, or is it that he's found a way to get richer being tongue-in-cheek on the subject and we just don't get it? I suspect it's the latter.

It'd be dismaying to find out that Marshall Mathers is the Walt Whitman of our time wouldn't it?

And so it goes:

love
btw this template is temporary, I haven't had time to do anything about the mess Artisteer left me in last week but in an effort to make the blog accessible again I opted for this for now. Hang in there, this too shall pass.

Friday, January 1, 2010

Happy New Year!

Greetings! And welcome to 2010!!!

I have high hopes for 2010. Of course, since 2009 sucked ass there's little room for more suckage. Don't get me wrong 2009 could have sucked far worse than it did. But it did alright for itself in the sucking department.

I have a long list of complaints that I'm just dying to address.

Airport scanners, sports figures drawing guns on each other in the locker room over a gambling debt,(i thought they weren't allowed to bet on games)a President who got elected on a change platform who hasn't changed a damn thing except his address and the size of his bank account. Jobless recoveries, people who think civil rights are their province. The notion that because I'm a white guy I can get anything, when there's direct evidence to prove that I get screwed over more often than anyone else. And let's not forget that Rupert Murdoch (read beelzebub) is trying to hold us all hostage so he can make yet more money.

The ill-conceived idea that giving up our liberty will make us safe. The incredibly insulting revelation that we'd believe that no one in the Bush DOJ could figure out that there was a constitutional problem with the Blackwater murder charges, and that the Obama DOJ continued the charade resulting in what were likely cold-blooded murderers getting off scot-free. Iraq has criticized the decision, and they know as well as we do that their complaints will fall on deaf ears.

The thought that turning to that mythical God in the sky will provide us with some form of salvation, yet using the very tenets of the organizations created to celebrate this mythical God to hurt others and deny them the right to pursue happiness.

The completely offensive voting that says that Justin Bartha


is hotter than Preston.





Don't get me wrong, Justin is plenty cute, and deserves all kinds of accolades because of his looks, but Preston...well, seriously, how can they compare?

Today is devoted to sitting at the pottery wheel and throwing as many pots as I can, while contemplating the hotness of Preston.

I think that's how 2010 should be started.

And so it goes.


Love