The soul has greater need of the ideal than the real for it is by the real that we exist, it is by the ideal that we live

Thursday, October 23, 2008

Luck, or destiny?

Tomorrow morning I'm off to the southwest for that interview I was talking about last week. I'm still trying to get excited bout it.

It's not that I don't want to move, I DO.

It's not that I don't want the new job I do, (if the $ is right.)

It's not that gathering all that crap up, packing it in a truck and driving it another thousand miles doesn't appeal to me, in some perverse way it does, and always has.

It's that next two years. The years in which you have to just sit still and establish yourself somewhere before ANYTHING happens.

Before you have the contacts and the trust to do the things you love to do and the things that make you whole. It's a tough two years. I seldom make it, and I think that may just be the rub this time.

Cause in the past I could always just come back, this time I refuse to succumb to that easy way out. I'm staying where I'm going and I'm gonna do what I set out to do.

I just gotta get through that two years first. Yikes.

I was putting music on the ipod last night to take with me, and I realized I had left my favorite weezer cd at work, so tonight I have to try to get that on there as well. It's Make Believe, which is like 3 years old and I still haven't listened to the Red Album which I am told is great, it just hasn't made it to the top of the list. I'm also taking Death Cab for Cutie's Narrow Stairs, yes I've listened to their new one, and I really liked it. It's a bitch as you get older and try to keep up with not only your favorite old artists, but the new ones as well.

Of course, Joni Mitchell and Elton John don't release much anymore, thank god, so I'm only a year or two behind on everyone else.

Recently I was reminiscing about the olden days, when I'd get up on Saturday morning and wander around the house and finally go out to breakfast and then to the cd store where I'd spend too much money and then go home and listen to my new cd's while I cleaned the house and read the inserts cover to cover and wonder whatever was I going to do that night?

Now that I'm old and have a life, I have no time for that shit. I download the music stick it on the ipod and try to listen to it in the car or while I'm working. Saturday morning's are for riding horses and being outdoors. For that matter so are Sunday's, another advantage of being old, no housework. There are people for that.

Trying to find some gaited horse training dvd's on the net. I'm just not sure who to listen to. There are so many out there. I want to get this guy right and I don't want to have to start him over and over, it'd just descend quickly into a mess so I'm trying to do good research and choose carefully.

I can't believe Halloween will happen right after I get back from vacation. After that it's just three weeks to Thanksgiving and San Francisco, and then the semester is over and I have to post grades. After that it's pretty quiet until I get done at the library on the 23rd. I'm off until the 5th so the holidays will be relaxing at any rate, I can't decide between New Mexico like last year, or just sticking close to home and riding horses a lot.

Of course, there's prep for the next semester, if I'm still here. And keeping horses ridden all winter, and apparently there are several of us who're going to continue to offer trail rides year round this time. Not sure how that's going to work since I won't go out myself if it's icy, let alone take someone I don't know out. But we'll cross that bridge when we come to it I guess.

Last night was for laundry, packing, and getting ready for the trip. Didn't happen. I sat on my ass all night and read. The laundry is done, but packing and all that?

I have a busy night ahead of me.

Wish me luck.