The soul has greater need of the ideal than the real for it is by the real that we exist, it is by the ideal that we live

Friday, July 31, 2009

I'm outta here!

After a full week of Monday's I have decided that enough is enough. Every single thing I've tried to do this week has been an incredible hassle resulting in very little getting accomplished. Up to and including the unhappy discovery that I apparently hit a wrong button in my unemployment application and now have to file an appeal to get my benefits. Fucking bureaucracy. Hopefully I won't need them but still...more bullshit.

So!

I have decided that I shall vacate the premises.

I bid you adieu with an extended HGF, Here's hoping that there are not massive crowds in the Grand Tetons National Park.

Oh! a mystery! I found, in my mailbox a key. This is not a key I recognize. It looks to be very cheaply made, and upon further examination I noticed that all the cuts are identical on both sides as though it were for a giant suitcase. Maybe it's a suitcase full of money and I just hAven't realized I've got it yet. Woo Hoo!

I shall return sometime around the 10th.










Love

Thursday, July 30, 2009

Can we afford to be healthy?

I ask that question in the title cause this whole health care "reform" debacle makes about as much sense to me as did my former sister. Upon discovering that I'd taken some of her money and invested it, she asked, "Can I afford to have investments?" She later fucked me over, got her hands on the money, and today is penniless, without even a phone, and can't afford all the medications for her MS. There apparently is justice in this world.

I'm not sold on health care reform. Why? Cause I don't know shit about what they're up to in D.C. Not that we ever do, but this time it could make quite the difference in our lives. The house seems to be all concerned about keeping it in the hundreds of billions, yet no one has mentioned what it is going to cost us each month. And here in a time when added costs are not only unwelcome, but in come cases impossible. Yes, there's a federal subsidy, but, have you ever tried to get a straight answer out of the federal government?

I'm also not sold on this new job either. Something's up. Ever get that feeling? That something or someone is up to something and you've not been let in on the whole story just yet? That's how I feel. Now, all the jobs I've had in higher ed I've gotten with, "Ok, so when can you start?" No formal interview, no reference calls, no transcripts, no nothing, just "here's your keys and there's your classroom." Academia either thinks I'm really good at what I do, or they're desperate to get on with whatever they were doing and have no time to deal with the likes of me.

I prefer to think it's the former, but I fear the latter is the more likely scenario.

I have no evidence to offer you, well that's not true, I do have evidence, but I can't divulge it. Can't back it up...yet. All we have to do is wait for the shoe to drop.

I just hope it doesn't drop on my head.

I'm also not sold on the latest increase in gas prices, and the oil companies obviously don't give a damn about my questions.

I read an article in the WSJ in which an investigation was mentioned that shockingly came to the conclusion that Commodities traders were responsible for the run up in gas prices last year and that it was totally a result of their speculation that it all happened. Duh!

Did I not say that at the time?

Hello!!!

Is anyone out here?????

Good Christ.

See, if they'd just operate on the principle that I'm right, we'd save a hell of a lot of time. Very few seem to get that concept, and more's the pity I say.

Anyway, oil is down below $66 a barrel, the CTFC is being blamed for $4 a gal gas, and the price of the shit just went up a quarter yesterday.

Fuck me. (this just made me laugh I thought I'd share it. how ever will they survive on only $15 billion in profit each year? Poor things.)"The world's largest publicly traded oil company said it earned $3.95 billion in the second quarter, down from $11.68 billion a year earlier. On a per-share basis, Exxon said it earned 81 cents, down from $2.22 in the second quarter of 2008."-By Ben Rooney, CNNMoney.com staff writer

So what's gonna happen as a result of the lack of oversight on that POS George W. Bush's watch is that there will be even more regulation than before, the Republicans, seizing any opportunity to tell us the sky is falling because of the Democrats, will say "See! They want to control us all! It's big government come to take over your lives folks!" Overlooking the fact that when they're in office we get our morality legislated...a LOT. And in the end those who obviously must be watched in big business, because if given the opportunity will steal the pennies off our eyes, will have to figure out new ways around the regs like they always do.

I've got an amusing little thing happening at the grocery. There's this kid, he's 17, and for many of you I don't need to say more, but it makes me chuckle just to see him posture and try to get my attention. This isn't because there's any great attraction, but because this kid needs and wants the attention he gets and he has nowhere else to get it. And, I firmly believe has NO CLUE as to why he likes it so much. It's sometimes hard not to laugh at him.

The last two days he's been off, yet he's managed to show up scantily clad, granting me an all access pass to a great gun show, but at the same time I feel like I'm sitting in a comedy club. Oh! And he keeps reminding me that he'll be 18 in September. As though that would make me stop laughing. Last night as he was leaving I went outside to check my voicemail and he walked out with me chattering about nothing as we went. After a few minutes of that I finally said, "Ok, then I'll see you tomorrow." and raised the phone to my ear so I could hear my messages, and his face dropped noticeably as though he felt dejected at being cut off, and he said good night and left.

Kids say the darndest things.

I cannot decide where to go this next week. I really want to see the Tetons, but it's 15 hours!!! Shit, that's a long fucking time in the car. I could do it I guess. But damn!

The problem, and the temptation, is that there's a horse and a free cabin in the Lincoln National Forest in New Mexico. You see my dilemma, I'm poor.

Today's morsel is a whodunit. Who told this kid that looking like this is a good idea. At least it appears that it's all natural and not steroid induced.

I just want to see if anyone knows who this is without being told. It took me a minute, but it's my life's work, so don't get frustrated if you don't get it at first:



Love

Wednesday, July 29, 2009

It's a beautiful day in the neighborhood

And it is, we've been so incredibly lucky this year with summer weather, it's been very nice. Usually by now it's hot and it stays that way for weeks on end. Not so far! August is coming, let's hope our luck holds.

I've decided that this weekend I'm packing the car, pointing it in a direction and driving for 10-12 hours. Wherever I am at that point is vacation spot. Since I've been west and south so many times it will likely be north or east, can't tell yet.

Minnesota has a nice ring to it. But then so do the Tetons. Like said. point the dam thing in a direction and we'll see what we see.

Today is fill out the interminable paperwork to work at a University day. I've got parking permits to acquire, keys to obtain, Ugh.

After that it's back to the studio. Yesterday, though wonderful, was not conducive to making pots.

So since I'm due at the School in about 45minutes today will be quick.

Morsel:

Love me a ginge.

Love

Tuesday, July 28, 2009

So how's this gonna be good for me?

Well, the job happened. Sort of.

I'll be faculty. But as my tarot cards said just yesterday morning I found I got what I needed but not what I wanted.

It'll do.

I'm still leaning toward the idea of working for myself. I mean seriously, shouldn't I, at long last, take the fact that I cannot manage to keep a full time job as the sign it likely is? Signs are way too subtle for me. It only took me 30 years to figure that out.

So, though this gives me the breathing room I need, if it doesn't choke me in the process, it doesn't give me what I'm looking for.

So the search continues.

So since I was lucky enough to be able to spend the morning in the studio making pots, and with the rain falling on the roof and that lump of clay going round...and round...and round...

I'm ready for a nap.

Rainy day morsel:


Love

Monday, July 27, 2009

It's almost back to school time

And that totally sucks. I'm rather enjoying my time this summer. Alas, I've grown accustomed to eating and living indoors, so when the doors swing wide for yet another academic year, I'll be standing in a classroom.

Honestly, I'll be happy about it. Teaching is that job I'd do for free.
Can't explain it to you, but it is.

This afternoon I've got an interview to see about the job I mentioned on Friday. Truth be told I want it less now than I did last week. But the the fact is that it would be a building block. So one of my least favorite things comes into play...compromise.

ick.

Friday evening was lovely. Dinner with a good friend, and then I stopped off to see my friends. The Usual Suspects would probably be a more appropriate moniker for them. My ex had cooked dinner (he's a pretty good cook) and even though I'd already had more than enough food for one evening I had a little plate of what he made. It seemed he wanted me to try it and I didn't have the heart to tell him no.

This weekend seemed to go so quickly I can't believe it. Let's hope the week takes its time, I've got stuff to do.

Well, I'm off to do a couple more hours of research on classes at the university I'll be interviewing at today so I can speak intelligently about curriculum this afternoon.

Yesterday I did a tarot reading and the outcome card was death, which means intense change.

Just what I love..intensity.

Alas...

I wanted to add this little piece I found on towleroad this morning about Walter Cronkite. I think it's proof of what's possible in this world when someone from a totally redneck place, in a totally racist time can open their mind to life and what it means to us all to be able to live as we're taught we're entitled to. It seems he was quite the guy.

-The Washington Post has published an interesting piece about activist Mark Segal and how his protest during a December 1973 broadcast of the CBS Evening News with the late Walter Cronkite changed both Cronkite's mind about reporting on gay rights and forever shifted network news approach to it.
Segal, who interrupted Cronkite's broadcast with a sign reading "Gays protest CBS prejudice" and was subsequently wrestled to the floor and taken away, later subpoenaed Cronkite to testify in the court case over his trespassing charges.
The WaPo notes:
When the trial began in April 1974, Cronkite took the stand, but CBS lawyers objected each time Segal's lawyer posed a question. During a recess, Segal felt a tap on his shoulder. "Why did you do that?" Cronkite asked about the incident in the studio.
"You're news censors," Segal responded. The anchorman was appalled. "If I can prove it," Segal then asked, "would you do something to change it?" He cited three examples, including a CBS report on the second rejection of a gay rights bill by the New York City Council. "Yes, I believe I wrote that story myself," Cronkite said.
"Well, why haven't you reported on the 23 other cities that have passed gay rights bills?" Segal asked. "Why do you cover 5,000 women walking down Fifth Avenue in New York City when they proclaim International Women's Year on the network news, and you do not cover 50,000 gays and lesbians walking down that same avenue proclaiming Gay Pride Day? That's censorship." Genuinely moved, Cronkite shook Segal's hand and thanked him.
Said Segal of Cronkite: "He was the kind of man who believed in human rights for everyone. I am amazed and humbled by his willingness to reach out to me. He was a bridge between the gay movement and major media. We remained friends, and it was a privilege knowing him."-

And now it's morsel time:


Love

update-job count 108

Friday, July 24, 2009

A Rare Thing

I seldom post on Saturday, but Justin over at Guyfromchicago has thrown down the gauntlet, as it were.

He maintains that this guy

Rich Harden, has the best ass in baseball.

Weeeel, I beg to differ you little whippersnapper.

I mostly lurk over at Guyfromchicago, cause Justin is young and I don't want to be the old guy who keeps commenting, so I lurk.

But he's really done it this time, he's inadvertently badmouthed the best ass in the majors.

It is, of course,

Zack Greinke Of the Kansas City Royals:





And after that sweet inning he threw in the All-Star game he's my idle.

He's a really sweet guy too.

Hey, Rocky! Watch me pull a rabbit outta my hat!

Why must there always be a dilemma? It's just drama, and I HATE drama.

My profession is one that has several aspects, and in my estimation the more of those aspects you are adept at, the more employable you are. Sometimes a viewpoint can backfire.

I spent..well a LOT of money to get my Master's Degree. I've spent many years cultivating my abilities in my field. Typecasting has got me again.

My Grad degree is in Directing, much of my experience here in my city of origin is in the more technical aspects of theatre. I also act...well, I used to, I was a passable actor, but in the many years since I've been off the stage my "chops" are gone, so that particular bug doesn't bite me anymore. I've done Pr, marketing, managed several ticket offices, produced, directed, served on several season selection committees, and more than one board of directors.

But here they still think of me in a technical way.

I don't dislike this, my intent all along has been to make myself as marketable as possible, with the ultimate hope of finding a job at some small college in the middle of nowhere where I could teach, make good theatre, make pots, ride horses, and have my family. A sound plan, I keep thinking. Somehow the Gods,inertia, SOMETHING keeps me from attaining that goal. Well, at least it keeps coming back to me in different forms which are all confusing and confounding at once.

I got a call yesterday asking me if I'd be interested in teaching at a local university part time. The call came from a well-respected member of the theatre community locally.

Mind you, she not only had to think of someone she's only seen once in the last decade, she had to go to the trouble of tracking down my number, which she could only have gotten from one source. So this is quite a compliment.

Here's the dilemma.

I don't think I want to do it.

I'm 52, and I simply am too damn tired to be wielding 4x8 sheets of plywood around a shop anymore. I suppose if there are students who will do that I would be willing to entertain the notion of looking into this. It apparently also involves teaching a class or two, so it would bring in much needed income,and keep me out of the savings, which is always good. And if that is the case I'd be expanding my Curriculum Vita, giving me even more fodder for finding that job in the middle of nowhere.

See, a dilemma.

I'll call the guy today and see what he says, especially since someone went to enough trouble to get me in touch with the job. But in the end it'll have to be a good deal or I'm staying on unemployment.

Fuck it this is Hot Guy friday:






Love

Thursday, July 23, 2009

There'll be Martial Law!!!

That's a direct quote from a wonderful friend of mine who got just a liiitle cranked up on 9/11. It was a scary day true. There was no way to know what was going to happen for sure, and GODS know we had no leadership that particular day. It was painfully obvious that we were on our own cause our clueless leader was gonna protect his own skin at all costs. So I understood her concerns, and her fears.

But this week's little incident with Professor Gates does bring it to mind.

Sometimes one has to wonder just what the fuck police are thinking when they do some of the shit that they do.

I get it. I understand he was investigating a report of a break-in, and that he had to be cautious and that he had to protect himself as well. I get all that.

I also get that though the good Professor was likely justified in his anger, he wasn't as cooperative as he could have been, and that when he got his fill of this cops bullshit he let him have it. I get all that.


Sounds to me like two people butting heads in a public forum.

One just happens to be friends with the President of the United States, and the other, well he may be refusing to apologize, and he may well feel he was in the right, but seriously, does one really continue to get in the face of a Harvard Professor when it's not only obvious, but PROVEN that he lives in the residence in question?

I also get that cops do profile and they do it all the time.

I live in, shall we say, a very white part of town. Our local constabulary has a rep for putting up with very little. Given the chance I'd estimate that 98% of the people I see pulled over in this city are people of color.

In fact I have a little story of my own to tell in that regard that I'd almost forgotten about until I was sitting here just now.

Sometime last year I was awakened at 5:30 am on a Saturday by someone honking a car horn outside in the parking lot.

I am not a tolerant neighbor when this happens in the middle of the day, so let's just say I'm even less friendly about it at 5:30 in the a.m. I looked out the window trying to see if there was anyone I could identify so I could make mention of it when I went to the Office in the morning. Nothing, all was dark and seemingly quiet.

No sooner had my head hit the pillow when there was a knocking at my door.

This, of course, means war. (sometimes I so wish I could attach looney tunes wav files to these posts)

Apparently the offender was looking for someone and they had seen me look out so they decided I was the likely place to start. This plan had obviously not been thought through.

I opened my door at 5:40 a.m. to a young black man eating a twinkie and drinking from a gallon of chocolate milk.

"Is Kelly here?"

Now, just exactly what would a disheveled, gray-headed, slightly overweight old man be doing with someone named Kelly that HE would be looking for at 5:30 on a Saturday morning? (don't answer that)

"You've got to be kidding me!" I said.

"Hey, I'm just looking for Kelly."

"At 5:30 on a Saturday morning? No there's no Kelly here! Get the fuck out of here!'

Slam.

Three minutes later the horn honking resumes.

Now, this young man has obviously decided that what his heart really desires is not Kelly, but to spend the weekend in jail.

I chose to accomodate him.

"911, what's your emergency."

"Yeah, I'm at ***** West **, and there is a young man out here in the parking lot honking his horn and he came to my door asking for someone named Kelly."

"Is Kelly in your apartment?"

*heavy sigh*

"No there is no one here named Kelly, but someone needs to come over here and explain to this young man that the horn honking at this time of the day is NOT cool."

"We'll send a car right out sir."

"Thanks."

At 6 I decide that I'm going to view my domain and revel in the calm that I have restored.

oops.

What I see is said young black man standing in the parking lot next to his car with his arms in the air, and police officers approaching him from either direction with their guns drawn, and him jumping up and down screaming "Kelly!" "Kelly!"

Being the theatre person I am I heard "Stella!"

They proceeded to taze the bro...twice, and then haul him off to the pokey. I counted 9 patrol cars at one point.

A little reactive no?

I was later informed that the car was stolen by his father, and had been used in a robbery earlier that week, that the poor misguided fool in question had not one, not two, but three warrants out for his arrest, and to top it all off we have not one resident named Kelly.

I felt really bad.

I think that perhaps the incident could have been handled a little more diplomatically on all fronts, and had it not been so early in the morning I may have been less disposed to grabbing the phone as quickly as I did.

Do you think this guy was profiled?

Hell yes he was profiled. essentially we already have martial law in this country, it just depends on the color of your skin.

So, yes we have a long way to go in race relations in this country, and we have a long way to go in understanding why everyone on both sides of the issue is completely pissed off about it.


The President is calling the Cambridge MA police dept stupid, ex-gays (even though they apparently don't want to be gay anymore) are demanding a piece of the Matthew Shepard Act pie, and those of us with shitloads of education are running cash registers at grocery stores.

Shit is fucked up, yo.

But here on this gorgeous Thursday morning let's put all that aside in favor of more prurient pleasures. Let's celebrate a couple of men who seem to have defied time and actually gotten better looking with age.




Viggo was actually my celebrity love match this morning, how fucking cool is THAT?

love

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

It's only Wednesday? Seriously?

Wow, it seems that last week passed in the blink of an eye while this one...well, this one is...interminable.

At least the weather is agreeable. I haven't had the a/c on in a week, and since it's the middle of July in KC that's a big deal.

I recruited a student last night. This woman I work with at the grocery apparently is also a student at the college where I teach. She asked me about one of my classes which she has to take, and said she dropped it when she took it from my dept chair. He does require quite bit more than I do. To me it seems excessive from non-majors, especially when they usually already have jobs and families, and we wind up with 17 ushers because that's the only way they can satisfy their required crew hrs. Too much I say. Make 'em study and do stuff and they'll learn more than if you require them to do busy work.

So I've decided to talk to a lawyer about gender discrimination at the old job. It's a tough one to prove, but if we can provide my former employer with at least a modicum of aggravation, then mission accomplished I say. Don't get me wrong, they did it, I was passed over for a volunteer story telling position and it was given to an old woman who ran everyone off and the program failed. I inquired as to how my 30 years of experience in all forms of theatre, and my Master's degree in said field could have possibly disqualified me for the job.(for which they never interviewed me) They said "It wasn't a man thing, S." I tend to disbelieve them to this day.

I wasn't interviewed for a PR job that I was imminently qualified for, yet they hired a woman no one wound up liking and she got booted the same day I did. I also never had an evaluation for the entire 5 years I worked there. I was so discouraged that I didn't apply for the Humanities Coordinator job, for which I was also imminently qualified, except this one they added the need for a Master's degree in Library Science. Tricky legal way around interviewing the guy with a Master's degree in something else. The woman they hired for the job didn't seem to do much after she got it. Certainly nothing I ever saw, and my job heavily involved circulation. So it was a puzzle really.

It seemed that all men were there for was to lift and tote, and do technical stuff. Oh, we could man the desks for $7.50 and hour...if we could afford it. But creative stuff, admin stuff, public stuff...nada.

So, we'll see what this guy says, I doubt there's much of a case, but I can ask, it doesn't cost anything, and this woman I know who just went through layoffs 101 says I should talk to him. Nothing ventured I guess.

I read today that Congress removed funding for the F-22, which was the main reason that Obama had stated he'd veto the defense spending bill if ti came to his desk. i mention this for two reasons. First, because this is the very same bill to which they've attached the Matthew Shepard hate crimes bill which seems never to make it into law, and second it's also the bill to which the Senate has attached an amendment to allow those who carry concealed weapons to be able to take them across state lines.

I don't know about the latter, it smacks of the old west of our fantasies to me. I'm not sure I want some old Republican walking around with a gun in his belt, makes me more nervous than if he's just walking around. I'm not in any way a gun control advocate, we should be able to own them and to use them responsibly, though I'd never, unless it were necessary, go out and shoot something to eat, but still it's a right we're guaranteed by the constitution and it shouldn't be messed with. We've always had a faction in which guns are a way of life, and though I've never hung out with them I get their point, they want to do what they want and if they can't then we're infringing on their right to do so. Weeel, yes...BUT!

So that debate rages on,and on,and on...and I find that I might have to actually go and see Bruno so I know what I'm talking about if and when I condemn it. That will be difficult. I'm already against the idea of the movie to begin with, and to have to pay money to see this guy do his schtick. I can't honestly enter the debate over the value of it's satire without seeing it though, can I? (now is a good time to tell me yes I can so I don't have to see this thing)

Ah the life of a pedant, how taxing it can be.

Last night I came to the realization I need to get into the savings next month to make ends meet, I think. That SUCKS.

Rob Brezny of Freewill Astrology says I'm totally ready to "exult and bask in the simple joys."

Well, yeah, that's all I can afford anymore.

Speaking of simple joys:

He looks pretty simple to me...or is that easy. Well, either way...

Love

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

It's all our fault

It is! We elect these stupid stupid people and put them in positions of power, and then when they do yet another monumentally stupid thing we're all, "Oh, My GOD! How could they do that?" Well, what the fuck did you expect?

I'm speaking of health care and the "Blue Dog" conservatives who think we should give the forces against health care more time to accomplish their goals.

They've, of course, put me in the unfortunate position of having to support Barack Obama's plan to get this done by August, which I just heard he's backing off of now,but that means they're just going to stonewall it like they did to Hillary Clinton 15 years ago. So, we're screwed by those idiots we ran to the polls to support yet again. The more things change...

How comforting.

I figure right about the time my cobra runs out I'll need health care that I can't afford and we'll still be jawing about this bullshit. See! Screwed.

Yesterday I ran across the booklet on how to file and manage an unemployment claim, and I figured out that I damn near screwed the pooch on that one. You're supposed to file a claim every week even though you're getting severance and working part time. Who knew? Not me that's for sure. I panicked and locked up my account when trying to log in and when I got a woman on the phone (they're busy, they need to hire more people) she unlocked it for me and then told me to just file for all the weeks I missed and everything would be fine.

I won't get paid any unemployment benefits for those weeks anyway, I'm still getting paid as though I was on the job in the ghetto. But at least it keeps me in line. I noticed too that they're so busy they are almost a month behind on claims. I'm lucky I've got the breathing room,maybe I'll get money from them just as I need it. Maybe.

Today it's pots pots and more pots. I didn't feel great yesterday and after I went to the chiropractor and rode the bike 20 miles I napped the rest of the day away. It was raining anyway,so getting nothing done felt right. Well, that's not exactly true, I went to the chriopractor,dealt with unemployemnt, rode the bike, applied for a job, installed a set of driving lights on the car, then picked a few tomatoes and made BLT's for lunch. THEN I laid down and napped. So, I'm not feeling like a total bum...yet.

There needs to be a way to see Nurse Jackie and Weeds and Entourage without having to subscribe to cable tv. I think that needs to be the first thing to go under the new budget and those are about the only tv shows I watch anymore,besides movies, which I can get off amazon. So, they need to get on that for me. I think I'll give them a call today.

Have a lovely Tuesday, I'll be listening to new agey music in the studio today while I try to build up a store of pots to hopefully make money off of.

Enjoy this morsel, how could you not:



Love

Monday, July 20, 2009

and the livin' is easy...

Well, according to my calculations it took exactly 17 days for me to adjust to a life of leisure. Not a problem.

I sleep when I want to, I work when I want to, I wonder how long I can make this last. It's very nice.

Today is a pretty free day, so I'm riding my bike about 20 miles, I'm making some more pitchers since I killed almost all of the last batch, and I'm making some calls. I have to work out, and I am going to think seriously about where to spend a week the first of the month, since that appears to be the only time I'll have for a vacation for a while.

I'm thinking of declaring a moratorium on my "Love" sign off and asking where the hell is the hate crimes bill instead for a while, or at least until there's a vote one way or the other. That thing just cannot get made into law and I don't understand why. And please don't try to tell me that here is much more important legislation that needs their attention cause though there may be, there really isn't and if they get so little done in a week maybe we should look at re-working their system. We can do that you know.

ENDA is being debated endlessly, and I could find the hate crimes bill nowhere on the congress website, well not exactly true, but it certainly didn't figure prominently on their schedule.

I heard a piece on NPR last week in which it all came clear, this budget mess in California. Arnold, it seems, is holding them hostage. I don't pretend to understand all the ins and outs of it all, mostly because it's indecipherable anyway, but I do know that privatizing one of the most beautiful states in the union is NOT the answer, and that seems to be the way California is leaning. The taxpayers can sustain the parks and the welfare rolls and the pensioners and meet their obligations in regard to the environment without selling their history and natural resources. That's the easy way out, and we all look for that don't we?

The costs of the health care bill are concerning me, I am , and have been pretty much convinced all along that the plan is to require me to buy health insurance, which I can ill afford anymore, much like I'm required to carry liability insurance, providing the insurance companies with a legislated guarantee of an income stream while not guaranteeing mine at all. This is all making me such a socialist.

We need single payer and we need it now so everyone is insured.

I commented on a piece in a local paper regarding the budget crisis that cost me my job last month and the response by a Republican commenter made me laugh. It was something to the effect that the very people who supported Obama were responsible for the local mess, and the "Obama" bailout was what ruined our economy.

I was forced to respond and remind the man that the bailout legislation was signed into law by George W. Bush on October 13, 2008, almost a full month before Obama was elected, so I failed to see how the two, except in the deluded minds of a lot of Republicans, can be related. He managed to cobble together some half-assed response about how they all throw our money around, but the wind was clearly out of his sails. Which was not my aim at all, I just felt compelled to hold him to the rules of that particular board which stated "keep it honest and factual," and the facts are that Obama did not approve the bailout. Maybe someone in the administration will get a blow job, and then they can have something to really sink their teeth into for another decade.

I have no objection to the Republican party and their precepts, and I know one, or even a vocal few, do not represent the majority, but I cannot understand how they can live in such denial of the obvious and indisputable facts. It mystifies me.

I, on the other hand, can live in denial as long as I want since I have little else left after residing in George W. Bush's fantasy land these past 8 years. The economy we were told we had didn't actually exist and now that THAT has caught up with us me and my much vaunted education are back on the unemployment rolls. So when the Republican machine manages to effectively put me involuntarily and effectively on welfare I have no choice but to point out their very public delusions.

I'm not doing this because I'm lazy, I'm doing it because there is NO job out there for me to get, unless I want to become yet another statistic of the alteration in the caste system here in the U.S. and get a job at McDonald's slinging burgers.

There's the rant for Monday, I've got to get out there cause it looks like it might try to rain a little today and I want to play outside for a while before it does.

Monday morsel:


and so it goes

Love

Friday, July 17, 2009

And I thought I was late yesterday!!

Friday is not over. So I made it. Barely.

I was crazy busy, I rode my bike and worked out and then went to visit a friend and before I knew it I had to run to make my dentist appt and then dinner. Phew, the social whirl when one is free all the time.

I managed to make a couple of pitchers today, though the goal was five or six. Tomorrow though is pitcher day.

Speaking of pichers:






Love

Thursday, July 16, 2009

I'm late! I'm late...

Not really, I've got an hour before I get to go meet with the people who're likely going to misunderstand my financial situation and tell me, "You're ok! You've got plenty of money to pay all these bills! What're you worried about?"

Which will mean that my intuition about them is correct, and they really haven't been listening to me at all. See, they keep saying, "Bring proof of your income for the last 30 days." And I keep saying that I'll do it, but it's really not relevant since that income is stopping, which is exactly the problem. The woman I've been talking to isn't from here, which seems to be a large part of the problem...the language thing.

So, though I may be wrong, (though it's rare, it HAS been known to happen) I'll go there and listen to what she has to say on the subject, knowing full well I won't get the answer I am looking for. I suppose it's just a future of fending off collection calls for several years. I can't WAIT!

Obviously I'm paranoid today. I paid bills online yesterday, and the usual lag time did NOT occur. I looked at my account this morning and virtually everyone came and got their money last night. It's like they know this could be it for a while so they better get it while the getting is good. See, told you I was paranoid.

But on the bright side the weather portends to be sending good electricity wishes our way for the next week. Looking forward to that I tell you.

After the lovely financial start to the day I'm riding the bike and making pots. I'm, putting my eggs in that basket for now I've decided. It seems the best way to get some cash moving through the coffers, which are about to need dusting.

I read this morning that attorney's for BMI are going after local clubs for failing to pay royalties on music played by the bands they hire. Seriously? is the music industry that desperate that they would shut artists down on the basis of collecting a few miserable fees? I see the music industry is going to have to be reinvented...again. I'll refrain from bad-mouthing lawyers this morning lest it come back to bite me an hour from now, but you get the point. Things get curioser and curioser.


Morsel:


Love

Wednesday, July 15, 2009

Gettin' back on that horse

Only in a figurative sense of course. The weather this year has conspired to keep me off a horse. It's been a drag. If it isn't actively raining when I have time to ride, it has rained in the previous few days making the trials so muddy as to be impassable. There are those who ride anyway. I'm not one of them.

So, I'm back to meditating and preparing to get through another day. I'm discovering that I have to develop some sort of a plan for getting things done or else there will be a lot of napping going on. Which is nice, but sadly doesn't generate any money.

It's threatening rain this morning and I'm waiting for it to clear a bit before taking off on the bike. After that it's sitting down at the wheel and making pots the rest of the day. Discipline, discipline, discipline. now I know why the cat-o-nine-tails was invented.

Mea Culpa.

I need new jeans. Shopping used to be something I looked forward to. Now it's a chore that makes me spend money.

Ah well.

I'm mad about being forced to buy health insurance. I'm mad about the lack of action on the hate crimes bill. I'm mad that Bruno is making money by making fun of queers. We've been made quite enough fun of thank you very much. (yes, I know it's satire, it doesn't help educate the ignorant who believe what they're told though. They like being preached too so fucking much then let's give 'em what they want.) I'm mad too that President Obama is touting his new plan to get $12 billion to community colleges, without any hint of just who is going to teach these classes, and where they're going to do it. The educated among us are being reduced to a league of truck drivers with churning minds. Shit, I'd drive a truck if it'd get me outta here. Sadly, the department of education may never get their money back that way. Too fucking bad.

It's Wednesday and I have no real desire to go back to work...ever. Seems like too much effort for absolutely no return. Thankfully I am required to be in attendance at the grocery this evening so I can't sit down and have that gin and tonic I'd love to have at 5. It sounds like a good idea in theory, it's a slippery slope I fear.

I have decided that there will be money spent in September to get that TEFL certificate. Maybe I can find work outside of the country. It won't, of course, be the panacea I have always envisioned, but it'll be a new adventure and GODS know I need one of them.

Speaking of adventures:




I believe the term is "baby got back!"

Love

Tuesday, July 14, 2009

Where's Peter Finch when you need him?

Oh yeah, he's dead. Well, I'm still mad as hell and I'm not gonna take it anymore.

Phew, now that that's out of the way I feel better. Not really, but who has the energy, at my age, to jump up and down and scream a lot.

I got screwed!

And not in a good way.

Not in the "Those seven jobs you submitted applications for, and for all of which you were outrageously overqualified, didn't even select you for an interview." Nope not in that way.

It's a much more political, more nefarious, more aggravating way.

There are several new and large retail businesses in the city where I most recently worked. Of course they all have taxes to pay. Or not.

It has come to my attention that a couple of these big businesses have disputed their taxes and placed the amounts owed into escrow accounts while they're in dispute.

The amount they owe is SIX TIMES what would have been required to allow all of us who got laid off to keep our jobs.

SIX TIMES!!!

And there's more!

These funds also go to the college I work at! Potentially putting me out of work there too!

Fortunately for me I can exact a little revenge. They'll never notice it, but it will give me at least a modicum of satisfaction. I owe one of these retailers money. Not a lot maybe $150.

But guess who's moved to the top of the list not to get paid once the money stops coming in? I'll feel better anyway.

In their finite wisdom, the powers that be at the old job, instead of getting smart and being creative. (not their strong suit)And instead of saying "Hey, we'll get smarter about money. We'll keep our staff and we'll find ways to get more $ without relying on these cheap assholes." They decided that business really does run the government and they decided to slash their way to budgetary health. A well used method which almost always fails in monumental ways. I'd say they succumbed to the fascism that always exists when a government is run by it's business community, but the government I worked for isn't that smart.

Just feeling a little sick of all the years of scraping and bowing today. See, it means I was right all those years that I eschewed that posture when my friends were assuming it.

I understand that most of them had families they had to support and that changes one's perspective on the subject, and they did what they had to do, but it doesn't make it go down any easier today.


I need a really good morsel to cheer me, maybe even a triple:





Love

Monday, July 13, 2009

Conspiracy Theorist

I think maybe the universe wants me to do something specific. The unfortunate part is that when it comes to subtle little signs from the universe I'm pretty much a dumbass.

It's been proven that I need to be hit over the head a couple of times before I get it. And even then I'm skeptical.

I've got job apps out for jobs in other cities, and...nothing. Can't say I'm surprised considering the number of people looking for work right now, but there are jobs I KNOW I'm more qualified for than most, so it's a bit of a puzzle why there's no interview pending for at least a couple of them.

Things have come to my attention here (right where I don't want to stay) that may require me to, at the least, do some investigation. I just can't take off for parts unknown when things in the job market are this uncertain.

So enough about that.

I'm also trying to figure out when/how I got so dependent on my phone. This morning, right after I turned off the alarm clock on the phone, I checked my email, and then looked at my schedule for the day. It's all in there. Now I just wish I could read font that small, I'd be all set.

What to do with all that personalized note paper on my desk now...

Starting the process of notifying people, bank, work, etc. of the name change today. God! That's gonna be a long process.

I looked at Twitter again this morning...still don't get it. But I'm sure it's me. I just don't want to talk to anyone that often.

Starting off this week with a low energy level. Hope it doesn't get too demanding, I'm feeling lazy. Adjusting to this life of leisure way too quickly.

Today's morsel is one of my favorite actor's:

Love

Friday, July 10, 2009

Alas, S.E.H. we hardly knew ye

It's done!

Who knew it would take just a few hundred dollars and three minutes with a judge to get rid of that name!

I'm very happy, and I celebrated by returning home and napping for an hour. Now I have to start the process of telling everyone in officialdom.

I had to nap though. I wound up returning a huge favor last night. My nephew, as I think I mentioned, bought a house. And yesterday was moving day. I went to help for a while, but he'd managed to retain the movers for an extra load and then I thought I might have to work a while but I didn't so I went back and worked until almost midnight. Then I came back at 6:30am and we finished up. So, after he helped me move in the rain three years ago, I feel we're square on that one.

Today is cloudy and a little rainy. Not conducive to riding horses tomorrow, but I'm going to try anyway. we'll see how it works out, I haven't been in months and I got the jones.

But I was indeed productive yesterday, the car got washed and waxed, (not helped by this morning's rain) the apartment got cleaned, (boo!) and all those calls got made. I'm apparently not yet joining the ranks of the bankrupt. Which is not to say I have any money, but to say that my attorney says we should wait. "If anyone tries anything legal, like suing, or taking property we'll put a stop to it then."

I hate this.

Let's hope I find a job without all the potential financial ick that's out there.

So in a celebration of literally the New Me! Let's leave this week with a trail..or maybe several of my FAVORITE kind:








Love

Thursday, July 9, 2009

Up and at 'em

Well, up anyway.

This is ever so much better than yesterday. I slept until almost 10am, and then laid around all day napping. Wasted the whole day. I can't think of a reason in the world I've slept so much this week. I'm not sick, I'm not depressed that I can tell, I don't feel particularly exhausted, but man did I sleep the sleep of the just.

But last night I went to bed on time, I set my alarm, and I got up when it went off. I intend to have a very productive day.

The apt will be cleaned, there will be some phone calls made, and I WILL workout....some. (I haven't been exactly conscientious about that so I may take it slow at first)I have phone calls to make and I MUST get a haircut, this mop is making me nuts.

Michael Jackson is still dominating the news. It seems that now everyone wants to know where he's buried. I bet he's not. I bet they've got him at Forest Lawn and they're keeping him inside until they figure out how to best memorialize him,. Too bad some people can't be left alone even in death.

I have to make note of Steve McNair's death. How much of a drag is it that the poor guy goes over to his girlfriends house and falls asleep and she shoots his cheatin' ass to death and then herself? Why he felt it necessary to have a girlfriend as well as a wife we'll never know, and I'm not advocating shooting people when they're troublesome. The list would get too long, and if you didn't get away with it the prospects are grim from then on out, and that gives the shootee WAY too much power over the rest of your life. No, best to just get the hell away and let them happen to someone else. Cause they will, trust me.

As I mentioned the other day, tomorrow is the day I finally become the New Me. Well, in name at least. Unless someone shows up to rain on my parade that is. I doubt it though. I think if anyone had gotten wind of my intentions I'd have heard from my brother that there was trouble brewin' and he hasn't said a word. Besides that PhD showed up yesterday and I realized that I have to go through the process of changing ALL of my degrees to the new name. Oy! What hath I wrought?

Well, there's a free Tai Chi class at the clubhouse this morning so I better get a move on.

Today there are two morsels. One is dressed, I know that's a departure from my normal procedure, but the photo is from a site I found (I have all kinds of time to look for things like that now)called Guys with iphones. I contend that if you have nothing better to do with a phone that cost you three or four hundred fucking dollars than to take a picture of yourself brushing your teeth and post it on the internet with your name as the pictures title no less,then give the damn thing to me. THIS is why we men are portrayed as doofuses on tv. We do stupid shit like this and share it with the world. Keep that shit to yourselves. Oh! and don't take a picture of your or your partner's junk and keep it on your iphone, that's fucking stupid too! The other morsel is because the first dumbass is wearing a shirt while he brushes his teeth. Jeesus!


Love