The soul has greater need of the ideal than the real for it is by the real that we exist, it is by the ideal that we live

Thursday, December 10, 2009

No fear

I always thought that was a stupid saying back in the day when it was popular, but strangely it applies to today, well, yesterday actually.

I got another of those cryptic emails from the dean's secretary at the university..."The dean would like to meet with you on December 16th after 11am. Please advise as to the best time for you."

And???

Seriously, this could mean anything from "hey, thanks for busting your ass this semester for us." To, "Get the fuck out you whiney troublemaker."

And though I'd loooove to ruminate about it endlessly I simply can't. I'm too damn busy.

Christmas is here, finals are actually happening, all kinds of interpersonal things are going on, mostly in my my head, and quite frankly I simply do not care.

If they say, "hey, thanks." well then great, and whatever. If they say "Get the fuck out." well then great, and whatever.

I'm hard pressed to see how I'll notice a difference in my income since they only paid me once this semester and even that I had to fight tooth and nail to get. So, onward I say.

I am told by those far more tenured than I, that this is the way of the world in academia. "Hey! Thanks for coming onboard. Here's your keys, now if you wouldn't mind please go over there, do what you do, do it quietly and please, do not bother us."

I, not being a "don't bother us" kinda guy, think I may not be the best candidate for such things, but considering the complete lack of interest the administration seems to have about me I may stay in academia. I do love my anonymity.

Anyway. Obama is in Norway as I understand it, collecting an award he didn't earn. Uganda will apparently relent and not kill or imprison gays with their new legislation. I guess they like our money more than killing. Figures.

This does not much mitigate the notion that the world at large is becoming a more hostile place for gay people to be, but it should at least give us an indication of how to manage things in the future. People are motivated by money, remember that and you will succeed in your efforts. Or you could just ask Joe Solmonese, he can tell you how much money motivates.

Moments ago I joined a music site called emusic, I'm already sorry. Cryptic messages and buttons that are unexplained make me crazy-er...than normal, and they already heard from me. I'm looking for the soundtrack to Out of Africa, which i inadvertently left in my old cars cd player when I traded it in several years ago. Last night Out of Africa was on tv and I instantly wanted to listen to the soundtrack.

I was introduced to it circa 1989 when I worked with a women who is now the Executive Director of a regional Shakespeare festival. I always liked her, and was so happy to hear she'd gotten that job. If anyone ever deserved to be in a position like that she does. She was, at the time, a vastly entertaining co-worker, and we bonded pretty well I thought. Considering that we were both in love with the same man. (I had the better chance, she had the better claim...alas)

And so it goes:


love