The soul has greater need of the ideal than the real for it is by the real that we exist, it is by the ideal that we live

Monday, June 9, 2008

Am I BEING Monday?

OK my horoscope told me I was going to be a bit disagreeable today, but DAMN! It did not tell me that I was going to be offended by the knowledge of people's existence.

It appears I am.

So far I've had words with the cleaning lady at my apt who had stuff strewn all over the hall this morning when I tried to pass.

I've had enough with the guy upstairs who wouldn't let me sleep Saturday night when I was trying to hold off a cold. So he's spending the day trying to sleep while listening to a looped recording of "Heavy Snoring." That qualifies as an argument in my book. I may just let it play continuously until I move on the 30th, THAT would do me good I can tell you that.

I was crossing the street after parking outdoors since they cut us loose on Friday when they closed the garage, and while I was doing so,this guy pulled into the crosswalk. There were words.

I got into it with the Bilerico project website, which is entirely too difficult to signup to comment on. The site told me my own url is invalid. Then it told me my display name was taken. Which is wholly unlikely. Then it told me the name it did accept was invalid. Needless to say I had words with their webmaster.

See!?!?

I'm just too mean to live today.

Oh! and I also discovered that someone (in Portugal) felt the need to review this website, and as with most reviewers they totally don't get it.

For some unexplainable reason this fool thinks I'm doing this for approval. That I not only want it, but that it's important and that I'm trying to be original here at the same time.

I'd suggest this person look back and read the whole blog from the beginning and they'd discover that all I'm trying to be is me. Don't like it? Too fucking bad. I spent the first 50 years of my life looking for approval and kissing everyone's ass to get it. (and I never did btw) I'm not about to start sucking up to ANYONE at this late date.

I'm writing here for me, for my own edification. To keep a record of the formation of what is probably the last few decades of my existence on this plane and my feeble attempts to understand what is going on and how I got here. Some of it will be diary, some sincere reflection, and some bullshit filler. It is not in any way an attempt to hold myself forth as some original freethinker who happens to write a blog that people are drawn to.

Should there be a few people who find some of what I have to say interesting that's great. But please don't think I am writing here to fill some egotistical need to be public about my life, and my thoughts. The communion with others I get from this is a huge bonus, but it's not really what I am here for.

I'm just trying to figure it all out like everybody else.