The soul has greater need of the ideal than the real for it is by the real that we exist, it is by the ideal that we live

Monday, August 25, 2008

good days and then great ones

I had a date on Friday night. Oy!

Have you ever had a date that was obviously going to go so bad that you considered just getting up and leaving without a word early in the evening? I'd never had that experience before Friday night.

This guy would not shut his mouth. EVER! Now, I talk a lot..A LOT! So, if I'm saying, you should shut up, it's really something you should look into.

This guy told me the entire history of his life from day one. It's possible that I may have been interested in some of it at some point, but not all at once, and certainly not the intimate details of how he came to know his sexuality. It wasn't puzzling, it was positively off-putting.

I'd allowed someone to set me up, which I never do. Unfortunately I also didn't realize that they never listened to a word I said about men I'd be interested in. Tall men are of no interest to me. This guy was 6'3." Talkative men are great, but really take a breath between sentences ok guy? ugh! Thankfully it was brief, I ended the evening right after dinner and ran, not walked to my car. He emailed me this morning anyway asking for another date...WTF?

Saturday promised little improvement when I was awakened at 5am by a thunderstorm. I looked at the local radar and came to the conclusion that riding horses would be out of the question. So when I got up I started shopping online for new saddle. I emailed my friends some questions since they have far more knowledge on the subject than I, and they told me that the stables got almost no rain and that I should come ride. Of course I did. The rest of the weekend I spent with friends, at the museum, a baseball game, and seeing The Dark Knight. It turned out pretty good.

I had a moment on Saturday night that surprised me. I felt connected to things suddenly. I had just left some friends after seeing The Dark Knight, and was on the way to the blues club when I stopped at a light and while sitting there suddenly my shoulder muscles relaxed and I felt a viable human being for just a second. The non-stop stress of the last 3 years left me for that instant and I realized that I would become whole again, that I would rejoin the human race after what was done to me by those I trusted most. That I would recover, and have my life back. I entertained the notion of going home for a good cry, but decided that might be just a little self-indulgent, and went to the club for a couple of games of pool instead. It felt pretty good to know I wasn't irreparably damaged like I thought.

Sunday was nice, before I went to the museum I rode the bike 20 miles. I had plans to ride farther, but there was this wicked easterly wind and I had to change my planned route at the last minute and it shortened things a bit. Still... lots of smiling.

I'm almost caught up at work from last week's "party" debacle. The whole thing went off without a hitch, except that it decimated my schedule and I wound up a bit behind, like half a day.

Well have a good Monday. I'm already thinking of Hot Guy Friday and who I might choose this week.

Love