The soul has greater need of the ideal than the real for it is by the real that we exist, it is by the ideal that we live

Thursday, October 11, 2007

Damn these responsibilities


Here's an angel for you!



OK, for my third post today.(the critical software at work has crashed so I'm free for a while at least) I have neglected to make mention of national coming out day! My bad!

I guess.

Who in the hell am I going to come out to? I haven't done this in years, since it wasn't necessary. But I guess I'll find someone. Maybe there'll be some cute guy at the grocery I can torment this evening. Now THAT would be fun. But I just have to ask. Now, how many Presidential candidates acknowledged National Coming out day today??? Hmm??? How many? That's what I thought.

I also have to mention a blog I just looked at from a guy in the south. I won't mention the blog or his name cause I have no wish to get in a blog bitch fight with some stranger and I mean no insult when I say this, but, he's thanking a friend of his who is straight for being so cool to him all these years.

Now, I get that. I have straight friends who are cool with my sexuality, and who've been supportive over the centuries, however, why should it be a big deal that they do this? Am I bad? I don't intend to be mean and I certainly don't mean to denigrate his relationship with some guy I know nothing about. I'm also certain he and I are not the only guys out there with a straight guy friend to thank for the same thing, but come on.

Isn't this exactly what I've been talking about?

Isn't it high time that we were measured not for what we are, but what we do, and who we are inside? Sorry, didn't mean to quote Batman Begins, it just happened.

This is the point of all this stuff I'm talking about. We are people! We are all people. We shouldn't be judging each other by our acts, by our innate attractions, by our private lives, because they are in fact our private lives, but for who we are, the things we do, what lives in our hearts.

I know I had to get older for all this to become clear in my mind and probably everyone else does too. But it sure makes me sad to see, in this age, someone thanking a straight guy for being cool with his sexuality.

Oh by the way I'm gay. Seriously gay! Marching in the streets with a big old placard in front of the White House with my fist in the air, proud fag gay.

IS THAT COMING OUT ENOUGH FOR YOU???

I'm going to lunch

damn

And another thing!

I love Rob Brezny-

I hope he's younger than me so I can count on him doing my horoscope for the rest of my days.

"...What about you, Gemini? What could we conclude about the nature of your mission here on the planet if we took an inventory of what you create? What are the experiences, products, artifacts, words, feelings, and impressions that you regularly spawn, and what do they say about you? It's an excellent time to meditate on this subject."

It's hard work being good every day. And we all fail more often than not, but like life, it's that old journey that keeps the interest. Of course, it's even harder to kep this curmudgeonly exterior polished when people keep trying to expose that there's someone nice underneath. Leave it be. It bites.

Sometimes when I contemplate my demise, one day in about a hundred years I hope, I think that often the only reason I stick around is because I want to see how it all comes out.

Sit Down

I mean seriously, you should sit down. If you know me at all you know when I say something like that I mean it, cause I'm about to drop a bombshell.

Actually, I don't know how much of a bombshell it is, but it certainly hit me ilke a ton of bricks.

I got offered a teaching job yesterday.

It's only adjunct, and it's probably only for one semester,and it's not at the college or university of my choice, but it's college teaching experience, and I like the guy who runs the dept, and an old friend works there too and I think he got me the offer. So, yes, they made the tentative offer, and I expressed my interest. The rest we'll see about. I still don't know the secret password so this may still fall apart, but until and unless it does I'm thanking the universe.

He asked what I want to teach and not being a complete fool, close, but not complete, I told him my preferences. Hopefully I won't wind up teaching creative movement or the like. Directing, analysis, crit, history, those I can teach. Musical theatre, I may as well teach mandarin for all I understand about it. I think he knows that already, so...

So there it is. I'm living with butterflies in my stomach at the thought of standing in front of a classroom again. This morning is the first time since I got the offer that I've been able to formulate a coherent sentence so I'd better stop while I'm ahead.

Love