Thursday, August 4, 2011
Lately I've contemplated taking a job I do not want. The reasons were purely security...and money...it was obscene.
But today, for reasons I can't explain mostly because I don't understand them, the light bulb finally came on over my head.
I haven't taken it because that's not what I want. Sure I want insurance I don't have to pay 100% of, and vacation pay and sick leave and to know that there'll be a paycheck every two weeks or whatever.
But that's not what I want.
I want to teach and direct and make pots and work with horses. THAT'S what I want, and if I have to drive a 15 y/o honda (ok maybe honda is going a bit far) to get that then that's what I have to do. I have spent my entire working life compromising my ideals for the security of a paycheck. Fuck it.
What if i decide to cash in and spend my twilight years making pots and riding my bicycle through the south of France? Then that will be By God what I will do.
Enough of this sacrificing for someone else who never seems to sacrifice for me! Enough of this hand wringing over, "Will I starve to death in my old age."
I'm starving NOW. I'm living in my brothers poolhouse, I'm barely hanging onto my car, and the credit cards...well let's just say the ppl at Capital One are saints. So what the fuck am I afraid of?
I HAVE NOTHING TO LOSE!!!
George Bush already took it all. He took it and what did he do with it? Did he try to take over the world? no. Did he take over Wall Street? no. Did he take off and go live on a tropical Island? No! That dumbass moved to Dallas!
So if George W Bush gets to do whatever he wants, why should I think I cannot?
The mantra that got me through undergrad and grad school was "Nothing is going to stop me from going to college." Well now it's time to adapt that mantra for the situation.
"Nothing is going to stop me from living my life my way on my terms."
p.s, Erik Pappas is a P.O.S.
And so it goes: