The soul has greater need of the ideal than the real for it is by the real that we exist, it is by the ideal that we live

Friday, October 30, 2009

The Christians are due on Maple Street

I just saw this as a comment on another website, and though I haven't been able to verify it,I still think it's worth publishing cause at the least it's so damn funny:

Pat's Christian Broadcasting Network website yesterday shared with readers that Halloween Candy is DEMONIC as it is PRAYED OVER BY WITCHES in the factory before it goes out - and adults giving it to children are guilty of SOUL MOLESTATION.

Not The Onion.
Actually what they printed.

Sad there are so many mental peasants in America still.-towleroad

This is where religion in America is taking us.

Ain't it great?

I'd love to hear the Catholic take on Halloween.

No, wait, scratch that.

Love

Friday

We're missing the blizzard this week out west. THANK GOD! I am not ready for snow. Hell I'm not ready for fall and it's been beautiful. Lot's of rain, but beautiful none the less.

I'd love to say I get some time off this weekend, and I do from the jobs, but I still have to winterize the car, and meet a friend who's helping me figure out what the hell I've done ti blow up my website. Moonrisepottery.com is a pain in the ass and I've only myself to blame. By insisting I write the damn code myself instead of using a template I've done something that will not allow the site to display at all. I get the template I chose when I bought the site, but what I've written? nada. Vanity thy name is site-owner-who-refuses-to-acknowledge-his-limitations.

I'll figure it out, and learn something in the process.

Bought a couple of baubles the other day off ebay. Actually I bought them last week, and one of them only got shipped yesterday after I asked about it. We'll see about feedback for that poor soul. I hate to leave negative feedback cause ebay is so hard on sellers who get it, but damn, a week before you ship? and I have to ask before you do?

Today is a short day, I'll have some time to relax before I go out for martini's and dinner with friends. Tomorrow in addition to the car and website I'm carving a couple of pumpkins and setting up a little dry ice show on the deck. I'll be entertained anyway.

Sunday is grading mid-terms and recording grades and attendance for october.

I found out yesterday that all those bills I paid off this month have paid off. Every single one of them doubled my credit limit. Now, this is info they should have kept to themselves, admittedly, but it's nice to know that the opposite,which I expected, is not true. Those who haven't been paid will have to suffer until I work full time. I doubt their doors will close.

Exciting news from a fellow blogger. Justin over at guyfromchicago, has decided to try his hand at writing. He's already got a pretty good voice, so I'm looking forward to whatever he let's us see online. He seems like a pretty good guy so I hope he makes a go of it.

Today we only have one person in our HGF celebration, and he's a mystery guest. I'd have never figured out who he is. Especially since he shaved his abdomen so he had a trail. I suppose we'll never understand what he could have been thinking when eh did that? Any guesses who this is?

And so it goes:





Love

Thursday, October 29, 2009

Nice trend

Several nice trends actually. I made great progress at both jobs yesterday and also got my name change problems seemingly solved. I amended the petition, let's hope that solves Missouri's issues and they amend my birth certificate. That way this will be done with and I can get on with changing everything else. I went to the courthouse yesterday and it took all of ten minutes to get it done. of course, it took an hour to drive to the courthouse and back which robbed me of my old man nap yesterday so I was tired when it came time for class.

Speaking of class I'm apparently slated to teach three classes at both colleges next semester, along with building the show at the University, and possibly directing a show at the community college. I may have my hands full! I'm teaching design classes at the university of course, and then intro to theatre, and at the community college I'm teaching the acting class and yesterday I was asked to teach the lighting class as well. My greedy ass said yes, we'll see if I can pull it off.

But if I CAN pull it off I'll make enough money to take the entire summer off! Wouldn't that be cool as fuck?

The Kansas City Chiefs suspended Larry Johnson for calling reporters faggots the other day. Good idea. It's about time some sports organization started recognizing that the entitled arrogant attitude of their players is out of line. I get that they're talented and that they're capable of something not many people are, but that, in my mind imposes an even higher standard of conduct on them, not excuses for their behavior. I've seen that way too many times in art, and life to think it has any place. It's just a temper tantrum, spank them and give them a time out like they deserve. Apparently the Chiefs agree. The remarks Johnson's Dad gave the press should make the kid even more ashamed, cool Dad I say.

And though I should be grateful, and I really am, I'm still a bit dismayed that it took more than a decade after Matthew Shepard was crucified for it to come to pass:



Maybe he does intend to do the things he says. Let's hope so. Besides we're Americans too we already have these protections, it's just that no one chooses to enforce them. Well, very few anyway.

Running out of play time this morning.

And so it goes:


Love

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

There's so much to do!!!

It's true I've got a backlog of prep work to do for my classes. This afternoon I've got to get the lecture done for my next class this week. I started on it and then we got sidetracked by their other projects and I set it aside, but there's still a lot of work to do, and I am not motivated to do it. I'd better get to it though, the lecture is tomorrow night and I have to have a clue what I'm talking about.

Well, there's plenty to talk about so I'll be fine. And Gods know if I can do nothing else I can talk.

I tried yesterday to get my hands on books for next semester. Alas, it appears I'm on my own when it comes to book research. No course numbers, no records of old classes. This place is a mess when it comes to records. I think I can find these things out if I can locate certain info, but that appears to be in short supply.

Took a relationship risk this weekend. We'll see if my puny efforts get shot down or if my trust in my instincts is well-placed. I think it all depends on the ability of certain people to trust in what they know to be true. And of others to mind their own damn business.

One of the bills I paid off last week doesn't seem to have received their check. I'm concerned about that. Do NOT need the hassle of tracking it down. I'll give it another day or two.

Well, pottery orders to work on, errands to run, and lectures to prepare.

I just logged onto sundaybaroque.org and it appears their show this week was stellar. Sounds great so far. Maybe it's the music for the day.

And so it goes:


Love

Monday, October 26, 2009

Fall Color, Lies, Shame

I realize the subject matter of the title is a bit incongruous, but I have issues...Yes, I know you know.

So Happy Monday, new week, yeah! This one ends with everyone's favorite holiday Halloween! And an extra hour to recover. What more could one ask besides a rich husband.

Let's start with the happy. We've had quite the glorious fall here and I thought I'd share some of the color we've seen.



The 2 mp camera on my phone doesn't do it justice, but you get the idea.

I'd love to party this weekend, but we'll see how attractive the offers are.

I may stay home and celebrate.

Today I get to buy a new windshield. I'm so excited, I can't tell you. I've probably ranted already over the other insurance company who should be buying it, so I'll just bitch a minute and let it go. if it weren't for that big round circle out of the center of my line of vision I'd forget about it. But hey, the damn thing is only two years old so I feel obligated.

Yesterday i read this bit of propaganda obviously placed by the "poor me" insurance lobby.

I ask you, why should we feel sorry for them? They feel nothing for us!

WASHINGTON – Quick quiz: What do these enterprises have in common? Farm and construction machinery, Tupperware, the railroads, Hershey sweets, Yum food brands and Yahoo? Answer: They're all more profitable than the health insurance industry.
In the health care debate, Democrats and their allies have gone after insurance companies as rapacious profiteers making "immoral" and "obscene" returns while "the bodies pile up."
Ledgers tell a different reality. Health insurance profit margins typically run about 6 percent, give or take a point or two. That's anemic compared with other forms of insurance and a broad array of industries, even some beleaguered ones.
Profits barely exceeded 2 percent of revenues in the latest annual measure. This partly explains why the credit ratings of some of the largest insurers were downgraded to negative from stable heading into this year, as investors were warned of a stagnant if not shrinking market for private plans.
Insurers are an expedient target for leaders who want a government-run plan in the marketplace. Such a public option would force private insurers to trim profits and restrain premiums to compete, the argument goes. This would "keep insurance companies honest," says President Barack Obama.
The debate is loaded with intimations that insurers are less than straight, when they are not flatly accused of malfeasance.
They may not have helped their case by commissioning a report that looked primarily at the elements of health care legislation that might drive consumer costs up while ignoring elements aimed at bringing costs down. Few in the debate seem interested in a true balance sheet.
But in pillorying insurers over profits, the critics are on shaky ground. A look at some claims, and the numbers:
THE CLAIMS
_"I'm very pleased that (Democratic leaders) will be talking, too, about the immoral profits being made by the insurance industry and how those profits have increased in the Bush years." House Speaker Nancy Pelosi, D-Calif., who also welcomed the attention being drawn to insurers' "obscene profits."
_"Keeping the status quo may be what the insurance industry wants their premiums have more than doubled in the last decade and their profits have skyrocketed." Maryland Rep. Chris Van Hollen, member of the Democratic leadership.
_"Health insurance companies are willing to let the bodies pile up as long as their profits are safe." A MoveOn.org ad.
THE NUMBERS:
Health insurers posted a 2.2 percent profit margin last year, placing them 35th on the Fortune 500 list of top industries. As is typical, other health sectors did much better — drugs and medical products and services were both in the top 10.
The railroads brought in a 12.6 percent profit margin. Leading the list: network and other communications equipment, at 20.4 percent.
HealthSpring, the best performer in the health insurance industry, posted 5.4 percent. That's a less profitable margin than was achieved by the makers of Tupperware, Clorox bleach and Molson and Coors beers.
The star among the health insurance companies did, however, nose out Jack in the Box restaurants, which only achieved a 4 percent margin.
UnitedHealth Group, reporting third quarter results last week, saw fortunes improve. It managed a 5 percent profit margin on an 8 percent growth in revenue.
Van Hollen is right that premiums have more than doubled in a decade, according to a Kaiser Family Foundation study that found a 131 percent increase.
But were the Bush years golden ones for health insurers?
Not judging by profit margins, profit growth or returns to shareholders. The industry's overall profits grew only 8.8 percent from 2003 to 2008, and its margins year to year, from 2005 forward, never cracked 8 percent.
The latest annual profit margins of a selection of products, services and industries: Tupperware Brands, 7.5 percent; Yahoo, 5.9 percent; Hershey, 6.1 percent; Clorox, 8.7 percent; Molson Coors Brewing, 8.1 percent; construction and farm machinery, 5 percent; Yum Brands (think KFC, Pizza Hut, Taco Bell), 8.5 percent.
___
By CALVIN WOODWARD, Associated Press Writer
Associated Press writer Tom Murphy in Indianapolis contributed to this report.

And this morning I see that we're still beating up queers on the streets. How utterly civilized. I expect lynchings to begin any day.


-(towleroad)A gay man is fighting for his life in a hospital in Liverpool following a vicious gang attack police are treating as a homophobic hate crime:

"The 22-year–old was attacked by up to 13 people at 10pm last night when out with three friends on Stanley Street. He is currently in hospital with multiple skull fractures, a fractured eye socket and a fractured cheek bone...Stanley Street will remained closed until police forensics have completed their investigations. A spokeswoman for Merseyside Police said: 'We were called to reports of a serious assault on Stanley Street at 10pm last night. The victim was taken to hospital with serious head injuries. He has suffered multiple fractures to his skull, a fractured cheek bone and a fractured eye socket. We are treating the incident as a homophobic attack. We believe from witnesses there may have been up to 13 people involved in the attack aged 15–18.'" (bbc)

13 people to kill one queer.

It brings to mind the story I heard on the economy last week on NPR. This guy said he used to leave meetings on Wall street and think "if the people knew, there'd be a revolution." except now they do know and there was no revolution.

I've come to the conclusion that it's not nuclear war, nor terrorism, nor melting glaciers that are going to get us...it's apathy.

Apathy will be our downfall, and the drama queens like me will have to pick up the pieces and browbeat those of you who remain apathetic into action.

Figures.

In the meantime it's work work and more work. I've got to make a book order this morning and then relinquish the car for the afternoon.

So, look over your shoulders gay men and women. They're out there and they're where you least expect them.

And so it goes:


Love

Friday, October 23, 2009

The time we have here

I've been politically inactive these last few days. No particular reason, I've just been living my life and it was busy, so now that most of those things are resolved, I turn my attention to things that matter, or should matter to us all.

The Matthew Shepard Act has FINALLY been sent to the President for his signature. Mind you Matt has only been dead a little more than a decade, so what could possibly have been the rush to get some legislation passed to protect us from such things. After all we're only queers, doesn't matter if we get tied to a fence and beaten to death, after all we ask for it all the time.

And the L.A. Police department has finally severed their ties with the BSA. There's been much speculation over the motivation of the BSA to deny membership to mo's, but in the end for me it's simply a method to indoctrinate young men into a way of life. Which is to say they're doing the very thing they would accuse me of when it comes to recruitment. The things people get away with in this life amaze me.

Alas, this week is over, it certainly was all about winning for me. Yeah!

I'm thinking it might be, once again, time to test the waters of applying for teaching jobs out of the area. I'll be very circumspect about were, but there are currently a couple ads in Artsearch that intrigue.

I got 50 pounds of porcelain the other day so tomorrow I'm staying home all day to make some pots. Sounds like fun. I do wish there was a way to get outside a little and play. I'm getting a little cabin-feverish lately.

One of the things I have to do is talk to my brother. He says he doesn't feel like company so I'm honoring that by not traipsing to his hospital room daily, but it does worry me greatly with all his health problems that he's down with pneumonia. I do not like those close to me with diabetes and in their early 60's sick with much of anything. I've lost too many already, and I'm certainly not ready to lose him. that's my last family tie and I fear I'd handle it poorly. But looking on the bright side the dr's don't seem to think he's in any particular danger, so I'm going with them for now.

This bring to mind a conversation I had with a co-worker at the grocery a few weeks ago. I've long been the source of medical advice to those I know and quite by accident she mentioned her recent gastrointerological health issues. From what she described i told her I'd advise going old school. Castor oil frequently until things worked themselves out, and the I'd bet the regurgitation would resolve itself.


When came to me last week and told me that she went to the Dr.and he said exactly the same thing. Nice to know I've still got it.


A few hrs of working this morning then some social whirl. Tomorrow it's making pots all day. Woohoo!

And so it goes:




Wednesday, October 21, 2009

The best laid plans...

This is my 600th Post.

I had a whole plan to put up some pictures and talk about a few issues I was contemplating the past few days.

Then I found this:



And so it goes.
Love

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

When it rains it pours!

Usually that phrase is reserved for expressing dismay over how it seems that that things go bad all at once.

However it also can indicate the opposite!

Like yesterday,which was not your typical Monday.

I had LOTS to do, not the least of which was to meet with the dean about the little payday snafu of last week.

In truth I anticipated that the job was over since I called the president's office to get the job done and I figured he'd hate it that I had.

Didn't care.

In fact the first thing he said to me was how sorry he was about what happened. And he hoped I was still willing to continue to work with them next semester. we'll see what his opinion is of next fall, or mine for that matter.

Hello?

Though I was somewhat taken aback I thanked him for the apology and talked about what we needed to do to get moving forward. I also told him that the payday thing needed to NOT happen again, with which he agreed, and said he'd do his best. I hope that means it's done.

So I left there and went to the college. That was uneventful, I made a couple of pots I need to use to do that trimming demo tomorrow, and then headed for home to prepare for my evening class.


Ok, ok, I went home to take a nap. But there was some prep for the class involved.

As I pulled into the parking lot I thought I should check my mail. There was only one envelope, which is always good news. As I walked to the car I opened it and discovered inside a letter with a card attached.

"Attached is your unemployment benefits debit card from the state of******"

Seriously?

After waiting almost 120 days to find out if I was even gonna get benefits and then having to go through a hearing I figured fuck it, and wrote them off long ago.

They apparently had other ideas. They paid me three months worth all at once!

I was a bill payin' bitch all afternoon, nap be damned. One notable piece of bill paying lunacy, there are many companies who will not accept a card number to pay off a bill! I was dumbstruck. I either have to get cash and send that or I have to go to their local store to pay them. The state pays me with a debit card, and the creditors won't accept it. It still didn't dampen my mood.

Of course, it won't fix everything that happened to me financially after the loss of the library job,but it will stave off bankruptcy, and the two big ones that are left either will agree to payment arrangements or die. Preferably the latter.

Woohoo!

Talk about raining! I mean , yes, it's rained men before(on occasion), but seldom MONEY.

Needless to say I'm in quite the good mood this Tuesday morning.

Let's celebrate!!!

And so it goes:



Love

Monday, October 19, 2009

Starting over again

The new week begins. I can't wait.

Actually that's pretty much true. I will likely be meeting with the Dean today to figure out if I'm staying at the University. So that'll be out of the way. I'm making some pots this afternoon so I can do a demo on Wednesday which will be fun. I've always felt that when I reach a point where people ask me to do demo's I'm pretty good at it.

I spent a large part of this weekend getting things organized here around the desk. All the wires needed gathering, they were just a jumble under there, and the tiled "tunnel" for all the wires to travel through was completed. I lost the old bankers lamp,which I broke accidentally a couple weeks ago in favor of task lighting, and now it looks pretty good. I've ordered a new shelf for the computer to match the one for the receiver so when that's in I'll be done with this project.

I also built a bookshelf because several times this semester I've needed things that were in boxes. NO MORE!!! Suddenly the apartment has taken on a whole new look. Organized. Scary, but I like it.

One day soon I have to tackle the car, it' needs stuff for the winter, besides it's got enough miles on it to need a few things before I'm happy with it's performance again. It'll wind up another $500, which is tough to part with these days, but I do NOT want to find out i should have been more pro-active with it in February, so I'll be spending it.

Lot's to do today. Later.

And so it goes:

love

Thursday, October 15, 2009

People! Ya know I love 'em!

We've got some ground to cover this Friday morning.

First, I have been engaged in a pitched battle with my employers here at the University for the last two days because Wednesday I was looking at bills to pay and planning for Thursday which was payday from three of my four jobs. That is to say, I assumed it was payday.

I discovered last month, as you may remember, that it was not their intention to pay me until this month and then not again until the end of the semester. Well today is payday, pay me motherfuckers.

No such luck.

Yesterday while poring over accounts and bills to pay I thought it wise to inquire exactly what day they did intend to pay me because truthfully I was assuming it was today. However, though I was correct, it was today, there was the small matter that payroll had never heard of me.

Can you imagine the depths of my apoplexy?

I requested that the guy I spoke with in payroll look into the matter, and true to form of a civil servant he proceeded to assure me that he would do just that.

What he didn't know is I was a civil servant once myself.

I showed up in his office an hour later, he was not amused.

After ascertaining that it was not actually his intention to help me I moved up the food chain. I went to the Dean's home.

There was no answer when I knocked. The word chickenshit came to mind.

So I proceeded home for further investigation. Deciding that big guns were necessary to win this battle I got on the website and looked up senior administration. I chose to go straight to the top and called the President's office.

A very nice woman answered and I posed my problem to her. Lucky for me she was actually a person who wanted to help. How utterly refreshing.

I never heard back from her yesterday so I pretty much wrote her off with the rest of them.

This morning I called the Dean's office and asked his secretary to relay the message that I would be happy to return to work, once I had been paid. She took the message and got hurriedly off the phone. I figured the rumor mill was in overdrive after my work of the last 24 hours.

I then sat down to compose a little poison pen note of my own. After it was written I felt ever so much better, but wisely I saved it as a draft and went for coffee. When I returned I opened the email again cut the entire thing, saved it as a word document, and then wrote simply. "I would like to request an immediate meeting on your return to discuss why I was not paid per our agreement."

Then I hit send. (of course I forgot to change the subject heading, but I later decided that "insults" was fine since I was deeply insulted by his behavior and there was no reason he shouldn't know it)

As I stood up to walk away from my desk the phone rang. It was the very nice woman from the President's office. She'd called to let me know she was still working on the problem and wanted me to know she hadn't forgotten me. How fucking nice is THAT?

I thanked her and went about my business figuring my fate was sealed there and who really gives a shit. How stupid am I if I continue to work for someone who doesn't pay me?

Then I got the call.

Nice woman left a voicemail telling me that there would be a direct deposit for my fee in my bank on the morrow.

Mind you she authorized the entire thing, not half as was expected. So I've no idea what that might mean. I wrote the Dean that since nice woman paid me I'd be in Monday but I still wanted to meet to discuss preventative measures for the future. I cannot wait to watch the little weasel squirm when I arrive.

Thus likely ends the saga of the terrible job at the horrible joke of a University that employed me for half a semester. I cannot imagine they'll want to continue. We'll see. They might just be as simple minded as I think they are.

I have this feeling that it's my innate inability to tolerate bullshit that will put them off. Since bullshit appears to be the stuff they're made of.

Alas.

So I was moving on and thinking that it's nice that there are people in this life who will help you when you need it even though you're a total stranger like nice woman. Then I ran across this:

-Interracial couple denied marriage license in La.
By MARY FOSTER, Associated Press Writer Mary Foster, Associated Press Writer – 2 hrs 6 mins ago
NEW ORLEANS – A Louisiana justice of the peace said he refused to issue a marriage license to an interracial couple out of concern for any children the couple might have. Keith Bardwell, justice of the peace in Tangipahoa Parish, says it is his experience that most interracial marriages do not last long.
"I'm not a racist. I just don't believe in mixing the races that way," Bardwell told the Associated Press on Thursday. "I have piles and piles of black friends. They come to my home, I marry them, they use my bathroom. I treat them just like everyone else."
Bardwell said he asks everyone who calls about marriage if they are a mixed race couple. If they are, he does not marry them, he said.
Bardwell said he has discussed the topic with blacks and whites, along with witnessing some interracial marriages. He came to the conclusion that most of black society does not readily accept offspring of such relationships, and neither does white society, he said.
"There is a problem with both groups accepting a child from such a marriage," Bardwell said. "I think those children suffer and I won't help put them through it."
If he did an interracial marriage for one couple, he must do the same for all, he said.
"I try to treat everyone equally," he said.
Bardwell estimates that he has refused to marry about four couples during his career, all in the past 2 1/2 years.
Beth Humphrey, 30, and 32-year-old Terence McKay, both of Hammond, say they will consult the U.S. Justice Department about filing a discrimination complaint.
Humphrey, an account manager for a marketing firm, said she and McKay, a welder, just returned to Louisiana. She is white and he is black. She plans to enroll in the University of New Orleans to pursue a masters degree in minority politics.
"That was one thing that made this so unbelievable," she said. "It's not something you expect in this day and age."
Humphrey said she called Bardwell on Oct. 6 to inquire about getting a marriage license signed. She says Bardwell's wife told her that Bardwell will not sign marriage licenses for interracial couples. Bardwell suggested the couple go to another justice of the peace in the parish who agreed to marry them.
"We are looking forward to having children," Humphrey said. "And all our friends and co-workers have been very supportive. Except for this, we're typical happy newlyweds."
"It is really astonishing and disappointing to see this come up in 2009," said American Civil Liberties Union of Louisiana attorney Katie Schwartzmann. She said the Supreme Court ruled in 1967 "that the government cannot tell people who they can and cannot marry."
The ACLU sent a letter to the Louisiana Judiciary Committee, which oversees the state justices of the peace, asking them to investigate Bardwell and recommending "the most severe sanctions available, because such blatant bigotry poses a substantial threat of serious harm to the administration of justice."
"He knew he was breaking the law, but continued to do it," Schwartzmann said.
According to the clerk of court's office, application for a marriage license must be made three days before the ceremony because there is a 72-hour waiting period. The applicants are asked if they have previously been married. If so, they must show how the marriage ended, such as divorce.
Other than that, all they need is a birth certificate and Social Security card.
The license fee is $35, and the license must be signed by a Louisiana minister, justice of the peace or judge. The original is returned to the clerk's office.
"I've been a justice of the peace for 34 years and I don't think I've mistreated anybody," Bardwell said. "I've made some mistakes, but you have too. I didn't tell this couple they couldn't get married. I just told them I wouldn't do it."

What a douchebag!

What else is there to say? Has this inbred cajun been in the fucking country these past 50 fucking years?

And so it goes:









Love

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

Closed doors

Being emotionally closed off has it's perks. It saves one from the hassle of people in one's life. It rids one of most, not all, of the drama associated with relationships. It works hella good as a defense mechanism to keep anyone from getting close enough to hurt.

It does however, have it's drawbacks.

It stunts dreams, it isolates, it loosens one from connections.

In short it's not all it's cracked up to be.

But man is it hard to stop once one has learned it as a way of life.

Sometimes one uses it to keep from feeling the hurt one feels every time someone leaves. And people leave for all kinds of reasons. They leave because it didn't work out. They leave because they were meant to be elsewhere. They leave because they die. But leave they do. Almost always.

So, there is then justification for the closing of doors. There's the easily taken road of isolation and emotional denial.

But breaking that habit is tough. And of course, one must be willing to relinquish enough control to let such things happen.

And control freaks are rarely able to let go that much.

But once upon a time they knew how...didn't they?

And so it goes:

Love

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Slow news day

Truthfully, it's a slow day in general. The autumn gray has settled in. This morning I realized that the culprit creating my malaise is Zyrtec. I only take that shit when I have to, it makes me a zombie. But it sure works.

Malaise aside, I'm enjoying fall break. I've built most of the "wall" I'm creating to hide all the tv etc wires, and now the slate is going on over that. The top section has been re-thought and I'll be expanding that shortly. Hppy with the results though. When grouted it'll look pretty cool.

I realized the other day that in addition to spending a grand filing bankruptcy, which I'm not sure I can still do since I can pay some though not all of my bills, I need to spend another grand paying tuition for my ESL certificate, and almost $600 on the car. It needs regular stuff for the winter, oil, brakes,battery, plugs, etc, but in addition to that I get the dubious pleasure of buying a windshield. State farm will only pay $25 after the deductible. Love them so.

A man was gay bashed in NYC the other day. He's in the hospital. His attackers are children. This does not bode well. Truly I fear becoming a gay senior citizen. My head still says "You could kick their asses then, you can kick them now." but my body says, "You'd better get the hell out of here before they kill your old ass." It's a conundrum solved by the age of my bones. Hope I can still run.

I've been short of breath lately when climbing stairs and lifting and toting stuff. It's odd, since I can still ride a bike 75 miles a week, but can't carry four 2x4's up a flight of stairs on my shoulder. I hate getting older. I suppose those calcified granolumas on my lungs are responsible in some way.

Calcified granulomas are formed when one is exposed to Tuberculosis and though it never encapsulates the lesion is still there so since I was apparently exposed many many times when I was a Respiratory Care Practitioner, it seems I get to live with the reminder from here on out, This would explain my positive tb skin test in the past. Of course all those cigarettes didn't help I'm sure. it's also the reason I'm not an organ donor. I gave everything I intend to to modern medicine thank you very much.

I also realized that though it would be appropriate and not unexpected that the Oklahoma Governor's mansion would be made of cinder block, it's actually White Indiana Carthage Limestone:

Still looks like cinder block to me.


And so it goes:


Love

Monday, October 12, 2009

Compelled

I always tell my acting students to make the more compelling choice. To look for what makes them feel more like taking action and follow that.

So I'm compelled today to talk about the Equality March.

I'm confused by the naysayers. Though I wasn't in 100% support of the march, because I don't feel there was any leverage to be utilized at this time, I still felt that it needed to happen to not only solidify queers throughout the nation, but to demonstrate to the country our resolve.

Still, the complete lack of support the marchers enjoyed from the HRC, and Barney Frank was surprising.

It was a bitch fight done in costume. It was this sharks and the jets, one in tuxes, the other in jeans.

I wish it had actually accomplished something legislatively though.

I'm thinking legislation may not be the way to go.

I'm thinking revolution may be the more compelling choice here.

We've been marching on Washington since I can remember.

This has accomplished exactly what? Hmmm, Let's see:

DOMA
DADT
Some 30 states with amendments banning gay marriage in their constitution.
George W. Bush
prop 8

Seriously, when are we going to wake up and make that necessary and compelling choice?

When? When are we just gonna get down in the dirt with them and have it out once and for all. Let's get this shit over with so we can move on to issues that are real. This one exists only because someone is allowed to be the bully here. WE ALREADY HAVE THESE RIGHTS WE'RE ASKING FOR, THEY'RE GUARANTEED US BY THE U.S.CONSTITUTION!!!!

And let's stop fighting amongst ourselves.

Is our education system so badly flawed that we don't even understand the meaning of the simple motto, "United we stand, divided we fall" Anymore? Let's stop being stupid and get smart for a change.

Cause the way I see it, the haters are certainly smart enough to understand that divide and conquer works very well.

Make the compelling choice!

Vive la revolution!

And so it goes:

Friday, October 9, 2009

And the torch is passed

Well, perhaps that's a bit dramatic, but I will not be attending the equality march this weekend. It's the first gay march on Washington in over 20 years that I will miss.

I'd like to be there, but I fear the letdown.

Last time I went it was very different from the first. That time it was about something, there was a purpose. The 1993 march was about a party. I was unimpressed. Of course I went with the biggest wet blanket in the history of the universe. That, combined with the fact that the very next day I boarded a plane to San Francisco to spend a week preparing to bury a good friend likely clouded my vision of that particular march.

So, good marching to those attending. I hope you achieve the goal. I hope you gain a sense of purpose. I hope the party doesn't wear you out too much. Not sarcastic there, cause partying like that can do one in for days.

Short on time this morning, gotta go spend a brief while at the grocery, then the social whirl begins for the weekend.

I also have three days off this weekend. Woohoo!!! Monday I'm taking on the bureaucracy that's causing hold ups with the name change, and then I'm sitting down at the wheel to fill orders. I love having orders for pots.

And so it goes:





Love

Thursday, October 8, 2009

Am I slow?

The other day I was trying to figure out how it is that otherwise intelligent people who are rational on most subjects will turn to their God and give it credit when they are actually the ones that accomplished something.

It's blasphemy. It really is. I'd think they, of all people would understand how offensive it should be to their "God" that they cannot give credit to the very being it supposedly created.

The term "I am blessed" is particularly on my nerves. Why can people not accept that they prepared, they worked hard, and they did what was necessary to achieve a goal. Yet when they achieved it, instead of taking a bow, they turned to their mythical being and said, "Oh, no it wasn't me it was this being. It was "GOD."

I just have to borrow a line from one of my favorite blogs at this point cause not only is it funny, it's apropos to the subject.

- You remember "God", don't you? That imaginary super hero who watches out for all the little children--except the gay ones?-Richard Rothstein proceedatyourownrisk (LAUGH!!!??!?!? I almost wet my pants!)

What floors me on this point is that these good Christians NEVER do that to another human being. They never say "That person did a good job."'Nope! They say, "God helped him to accomplish what he did."

Bullshit, I say!

Why can't we acknowledge the difficult and oftentimes overwhelming effort we put into our accomplishments?

I think I may have a theory on that subject, particularly when it comes to Americans.

Not long ago I saw Michael Moore's film, Sicko. While he was looking into Universal Health Care in France he interviewed a person who, during the course of the conversation said something to the effect of, "In France the government is essentially afraid of the people, therefore when we demand something they react positively. In America the people are afraid of their government, and when the people demand something the government begins to weigh how this demand will impact on business and special interests. Therefore they react negatively."

See! We as human beings need comfort and sanctuary. We need to feel accepted and loved, and in the absence of any form of security or acceptance from our government we turn to the only other place we are familiar with where we can get that need met. It's a church.

Unfortunately, the church is playing us too. They're in it for their own gain and using us as their pawns. If it ever comes to their best interest or ours, we're the sacrificial lambs, I promise you.

So that's it. That's the answer to saving our collective asses from becoming a religious state as opposed to the secular state we are supposed to be.

Oh wait, Separation of Church and state already exists.

How come I didn't notice that?

Perhaps if we'd make clear that religion is a part of our spirituality and NOT part of our governance SOME people would start to get it. Of course there are those who can't separate the two, and of course for that inability I indict the completely inadequate public education system.

We're creating our own demise by not adequately educating our citizens. We're being so short-sighted as to look at what it costs right now to properly educate a child and based on economics, denying them that education. It'll be our ruination I promise you.

We already have a populace that is so easily lead to ruin that not only did most of them vote FOR "change," Change which hasn't even begun to happen yet, but the rest of them are marching in the streets loudly proclaiming that anyone who's not white, heterosexual, and Christian can't partake of the plenitude of benefits they already enjoy. And they're PROUD of what they're doing.

No, I am not the first person to predict the end of our civilization. I am not the first old guy to say the "kids" are running this place into the ground. I am not the first naysayer to go on and on about what "this country needs!" I wish I were.

And I don't agree that the "kids" are running this place into the ground. I have students who are very intelligent, thinking people. Who can reason a problem through and then come to an appropriate conclusion. But they think the bots at Apple are fine, they think that getting screwed by a major corporation is perfectly ok. They see no problem that the oil companies NEED billions of dollars EACH QUARTER to keep us in the dark ages. They've fallen for it.

It's only a matter of time, of course, when one sets out on a propaganda campaign such as those I've outlined above, that it becomes an accepted form of practice, and they usually succeed, with persistence.

So no wonder the sheep of the world have been brainwashed into the belief that they cannot accomplish anything on their own, that they need that mythical superhero "God" to get anywhere. The churches are the only place they get any solace from the constant onslaught of information and fearful predictions they cannot possibly understand because they're kept too damn stupid to even begin to comprehend!

Our religious crusade started by the self-righteous Moammar Khadafi we last had as president of these United States is not nearly over. Unfortunately, we are now powerless to stop the spread of religious fervor and governance.

And so it goes:

I also snagged this image from Proceed at your own risk, it was too delicious to pass up. Thanks Richard.

Love

Wednesday, October 7, 2009

Autumn

It's cold this morning!

I love fall though, it's my favorite time of the year. The weather is so crisp, the leaves are often so pretty, and there's still time to be outside.

My weekend has already filled up with the social whirl!

Friday night it's cocktails and dinner, Saturday it's dinner and then the play at the University with a friend, followed by strike, which shouldn't take all that long. And Sunday it's horseback riding with this new guy I'm curious about. Have I mentioned that I'm excited about that?

I had another dream last night which I don't remember at the moment but I do remember waking in the night and thinking how odd it was and that I needed to post about it as well. Maybe it'll come to me again.

I'm starting to wonder if it's not the Prilosec that I'm now taking that's causing all these nocturnal changes. I'm sure it's the culprit in making me feel warmer during sleep. Even on these chilly night I wake up hot and throwing off the comforter. Not me at all, historically I burrow deeper the colder it gets. But not so far this fall. And Prilosec is the only real change.

Ah well.

I have orders for pottery for the fall and winter already! I'm very stoked about that. It's been a couple of years since that happened. So I need to get into the studio and get moving next week.

One of the blogs I read daily is called normal for norfolk, the author lives in London, and he loves both trains and the male form, not necessarily in that order. One of his recent posts posed the question "Are we creating the notion that perfection on the order of virtual reality is the only acceptable look for a man?"

I couldn't agree more. We're creating a generation of bots. They all talk alike, they think alike, they accept that they're going to get screwed by companies and governments alike, and there is a pervasive attitude that looking like Kyle XY is the way to go.

Yeah, not so much.

I realize I'm older and that I've grown to love the notion that my man has lived life so he'll have some marks on him, but when one is young, no need to go quite that far. However, this bot style of plucking and shaving, and of every junior high kid lifting weights, is too much.

Let them be I say. Let them evolve. (don't let men lose their nipples though) and rejoice in all the sizes and differences there are out there.

Not that I'll be heard, but I wanted to say it.

And so it goes:




Celebrate them all!!!
Love

Tuesday, October 6, 2009

Is this a dream?

I seldom remember my dreams, but last night I had a doozy.

I was in an episode of Brothers and Sisters. And I don't watch TV!!

I was a guest at a wedding, and no it wasn't the gay couple, I dont know whose wedding it was. I hung out with Rob Lowe's character most of the time. We packed to go to this wedding and wound up riding in the gondola of a balloon. We passed these animated lands until we came to one where the balloon started to settle and we thought it a good time to open the picnic basket that magically appeared, BUT just as we did the wind came up again and took us up.

There was some confusion later about the clothes in my suitcase and my suit didn't match or whatever, I'm muddy about those particular details, but the whole time I was thinking "What the fuck? Why am I in an episode of this show? And why am I in a gondola flying around with Rob Lowe?"

When I woke this morning I thought it might have been something I ate, but no, I ate pretty conservatively yesterday.

I think I preferred not remembering my dreams. That was odd.

Well, I made it through both of the schools of higher book learnin' yesterday without incident. I ran into the Dean on my way out and asked for a meeting to not only define my role, but to discuss budget for the remainder of the academic year. This guys got me teaching design! Are colleges really THAT desperate for design people? I mean they must be. He agreed that we should meet after fall break. I didn't even know we HAD fall break, but apparently there are no classes next week.

Cool!

My acting class was fun, they did their midterm monologues and we started discussing the workshop they'll be doing with the one act play my other class is writing.

I made a couple of pitchers in the studio yesterday. Wednesday it's the dreaded handle exercise. Sometime it works sometimes, it don't. Without a handle this pitcher will be useless.

Today is the drudge job, then an evening of trying to figure out why my tv doesn't recognize the vcr anymore. Lord I hope I don't have to take this tv off the wall, it's such a hassle. If I get it working I'll screen master harold and the boys for my class tomorrow.

This weekend is horseback riding with the new guy. Have I mentioned I'm excited about that?

I'm also taking three days off this weekend. Woohoo!

And so it goes:


Love

Monday, October 5, 2009

Birthdays, and planets

Saturday I had family and friends over for a small party for my brother's 62nd b-day. (He's much older than me)and we had a great time.

There was crab and corn on the cob and salad and great fresh bread, and good wine and of course,...pie.

There's leftover Cherry pie, and leftover French Silk pie, and a little pecan too.

Pie is my enemy, and my BFF. It will sadden me to throw out the leftovers. I hope I have the strength.

Yesterday my horoscope said that there is a big career change brewing so "get ready."
This, hopefully means something positive is about to happen, or that I am about to permanently become the supervisor of a janitorial company, it's hard to tell. Today my other horoscope said that the planets had shifted and I can tell the difference. Well, sure, now I can since you told me!

Light week for me. I still have to teach and do all the regular stuff, but no show to open, and in fact it will close on Saturday night. I'll have to go see it and then supervise the strike afterward. BUT! Sunday I am off to ride horses with aforementioned guy. Can you tell I'm happy about it?

I'd love to sit and chew the fat over gay rights and marriage and DADT and all, but I've procrastinated the beginning of this morning so I've got to get moving.

Crossing fingers for a good week for us all.

And so it goes:


Love

Friday, October 2, 2009

Still wouldn't trade it

Ever get signs that you shouldn't be doing what you're doing? That your most recent choices aren't in your best interest? I get that all the time, hate it. Even with all the shit that's going on right now I wouldn't trade my life for anything. It's been an incredible ride and I believe there's more to come.

I've tried three times to post something meaningful and deep here today. Not working out very well I can tell you that. I've deleted all the drivel and decided that what we'll do is celebrate the coming weekend, especially since my life savings just showed up in my bank account about an hour ago! Woohoo!!! I can pay bills!!!

Sad when that makes your day isn't it?

I've made a date with a guy for next weekend to ride horses, and I've been wanting to do that with this guy for a while now, so it's pretty fun to know it's coming to pass.

I spoke with my colleague at the University yesterday who doesn't seem unhappy with the set, which I find odd since I hate the damn thing. But what the hell, I don't have to work with it.

Today's first pic is another from my vacation in August. You may remember I told you that when we were riding horses we came over a rise and there was this cabin sitting in the middle of nowhere. Well this is it. It brings tears to my eyes to know that places like this exist and that it IS possible that someone, maybe me, can live there. Enlarge it to get the whole effect please.

I mean I don't want to be the Unabomber or anything, but I would treasure the solitude.

Have a safe and happy weekend, be well.

And so it goes:





Thursday, October 1, 2009

What does that mean exactly

Yesterday was a day filled with ambiguity. I'm sure the University gig is over. There are no concrete signs but just as an experiment I mentioned the future several times to different people and all I got was a stiff smile from each of them. It's unfortunate that they don't have any better answers than they do. Of course, they'll solve all these pain in the ass issues they gave me and the next guy will have smooth sailing, it's the way employers work. And of course they'll deny they had any problems except me. I shouldn't sound so bitter about it cause I'm glad it's gonna be over, it's too much hassle for work I don't want to do anymore.

My students in the evening were ambiguous as well. They seemed uninterested in almost everything I talked about. Lots of lethargy last night, I couldn't tell if they were tired or just bored. It makes for a long evening when I do all the talking.

I'm done with both of them until Monday. So that's a bit of relief. I can turn my attention to other things maybe, like picking up this filthy apartment. Wow, I'm a bit of a drama queen this morning huh? It's cluttered since I've been running in and out for three days and it's making me a little nuts because of the mess but it's not that bad really. Lord, I hope I don't spend the whole day explaining myself like this.

So let's forget all about that stuff and daydream.

Ok, daydream over.

That was fun huh?

and so it goes:


Love