The soul has greater need of the ideal than the real for it is by the real that we exist, it is by the ideal that we live

Monday, September 22, 2008

Addendum

I just have to say it's a red letter day on the fucking internet today! First I read that Sting kissed a guy and liked it. (I knew it)

And just now I found Jeff Probst shirtless backstage at the Emmy's!

The planets must be aligned today!

Great Weekend


In pursuit of navel recognition I'm going to post a few of my favorite navels this week. I have to wonder if anyone will recognize them.

It really was a great weekend, mostly spent on a horse. I don't think the new saddle is going to work out though. I'm not comfortable in it. I'll give it another weekend and then I'll put it on ebay if I still can't like it.

Friday night I went to a friends, and lo and behold the ex showed up. I am so disappointed about all that because it was going fine. We'd been able to socialize and things seemed like they'd be ok. Then came Friday night.

He is simply incapable of NOT going to the dark side. He made a couple of inappropriate references to our relationship during the evening, one theme which always comes up is legal issues,he makes sure to mention incarceration or something illegal every time I see him,which is bad enough. But at one point I was outside with K smoking, which I sometimes do when I'm there, cause K smokes still and I find it hard not to when I'm drinking, so I have a couple. Ex, of course, has a conversation about his disapproval of it loud enough that I can hear him in the house. I chose to ignore it, mostly because it's none of his fucking business, but more because what he really wants is to engage me on some sort of hostile level, which is the only level he really knows. Sad, but I'm cutting that off. No more socializing with ex. K will throw a fit, but enough is enough.

Like I said at the outset of all this, I'm glad I make such an impression that he's still not over it after 5 years, but seriously. He's 50 years old. Get out of Junior High already.

The testing is done. HR testing seems kind of farcical. There were some questions relevant to the position I've applied for, but mostly it was...well the reasons for it were mysterious. I truly hope that the people who apply for jobs don't need testing at THAT level, cause they're not very employable if any of those questions are a challenge. Anyway it's over.

It's kind of a funny story. My proctor's office isn't far from here so I walked. She gave me 7 pages of questions and I thought, "How can THIS take 2 hours?" She then informed me that the time she was quoted was 1 hour. Still! So I took the test in 15 minutes, and left. She called me back about 30 minutes later and told me she had just found the other 11 pages on her fax machine. Oy!

So I went back and finished, still too quickly I thought. But really those questions...Lord.

We'll see. Cross fingers and toes. For both myself and K in Hawaii. I really hope he gets the new job today.

Of course, if I do get a job what the hell do I do about moving so quickly and so suddenly from a lease I just signed four months ago? I'm not leaving anything here. When I go I'm gone. I don't want any reason to return. Ever. Nothing for me here anymore. And God knows I've paid the price before. So parting with a little cash isn't going to kill me.

I'll figure it out, still I'm wondering what the hell it's all going to cost, and how it'll all shake out. Oh well, it's way past time for me to have another adventure. Life's gotten way too stiff for me these last few years.

Love