The soul has greater need of the ideal than the real for it is by the real that we exist, it is by the ideal that we live

Monday, January 31, 2011

I am as constant as the northern star

At least our weather people think they are.

For the last three days they've been shouting from the rooftops that we will be literally buried to our necks soon in a layer of ice followed by epic snow.


I got nothing.

The radar doesn't even indicate that this storm exists!  Argh!

I was just out looking at a house and talking with my stage manager about he fact that rehearsals were canceled when they closed the college today, and nothing, it's not slick, it's not very cold, it's...nothing.

I like the house, not sure about the neighborhood. Big lot, detached garage with a studio, nice remodeled house, fenced, on a corner, neighbors a respectable distance away, it's possible.  The boss at the college is making noise about how nice it is that I may buy a house.  Maybe he wants me to stay.  Fuck!

So here I am trapped in my house, nothing to do since I should be standing in front of a classroom right now preparing to teach and then attend rehearsal, and I'm subjected to the vagaries of network television all evening.

I am getting weary of Chicken Little.

And so it goes:

Saturday, January 29, 2011

Friday, January 28, 2011

Thursday, January 27, 2011

I don't do this for a reason

I try to keep this blog separate from my work because, well because they're two different parts of my life, AND I already have a blog about my directing.

But tonight was such a great rehearsal I have to comment.

I love working with young actors.. they're just so willing. These two are working and working and unfortunately as with all actors their age they have the attention span of gnats, and they lose focus. But they try and try and bit by bit they're learning to trust themselves and I can step out of the picture so they can learn their own invention.

Tonight we started adding the music and the whole show changed. The added dimension is astounding. I cannot wait to show this thing to an audience.

And so it goes:

There is special providence in the fall of a sparrow

It's just a bit insulting to think that we're so often played for fools.

Birds fall from the sky, and we're told "Ah, happens all the time, you just communicate too often nowadays and you're finding out how much it actually happens."


Then someone, I thankfully know not whom, asks Kirk Cameron why he thinks it is, and he wisely, makes light of his position as arbiter of endtimes knowledge.

But the unkindest cut of all comes today.

We're told the birds in Beebe Arkansas, died of blunt force trauma. Which symptoms, any thinking person could tell you, would be the result of falling several hundred feet from the sky. The end result, yet not necessarily the cause.

Now, let's momentarily revisit my position on conspiracy theories. It's my contention that to have a conspiracy there must be an organized effort to accomplish a specific goal. I also believe that none of the existing threats to sanity in this world are thinking of anyone or anything but themselves and their own wants and needs.

But something is afoot here.

Personally, I'd more readily believe that these hapless creatures, (the birds, not the humans making up the fairy tales) flew into a cloud of toxic waste, they're out there, (we all know what is done in our names daily why delude ourselves) Perhaps some shift in the winds this winter brought a particularly bad mass of naz from Chenobyl, or some errant volcanic ash is to blame.

Point being, I doubt anyone would take the time to murder a few thousand birds in Arkansas as an exercise to warn us of an impending disaster.

But the idea that we're thought of as so simple-minded that we'd buy the blunt force trauma theory, is just insulting.

And so it goes:

Wednesday, January 26, 2011

Do you people really buy this stuff?

Please explain to me why it is that the GOP/Tea Party(and don't try to tell me that the Tea Party isn't trying to take over the GOP) always goes out of their way to find the craziest, most out there responder to Obama's State of the Union? This year it was Michelle Bachman, whose infamous question "Where in the Constitution is the separation of Church and State?" causing the other participants and the audience to audibly gasp.  Interestingly she never blinked.

So here's her response, no we've no idea who she might be talking to.  But the fact that this is the party who's trying, and largely succeeding in taking power in D.C. nowadays is more than a little disconcerting.

So, aside from he wonderful demonstration of our completely inadequate education system, i.e. her inability to properly pronounce Iwo Jima correctly, she demonstrates nothing but a propagandistic response which has been the GOP's line all along.

Let's take a little look at last years nutbag, and everybody's favorite corruption peddler Bobby Jindal:

Here's what scares me. The American Public apparently do not want educated thinking people running their government. They want uneducated dolts forming public policy. This is a problem for me.

I don't put a lot of stock in the SOTU, it's basically, in my opinion, a chance for the President to annually state his position, and allow everyone to jockey for position with the public. And in the second year it's to set the tone for the next election cycle. Which Obama did, right on cue.

So, will anything come of this little non-debate debate?
Likely not. Everyone will go back to pushing for what they want and disregard what we want altogether. Big Business, the Big Three (and don't kid yourself, they still have enough juice to bring down Toyota), Oil, and Insurance will all keep running the show and we have very little to say about matters.

And so it goes:

Tuesday, January 25, 2011

Call them faggots

En primer lugar en referencia a la homosexualidad, la palabra es no "faggot," sino maricon.

Get it right you child molesting bitch.

You know, i don't really mind being called names, Gods know I've been called a few in my day.

But if someone who resides in a rectory made of glass wants to insult me I'd prefer they insult me correctly.

Bigots exist the world over, and they're really not to be feared. This one at least is honest.  He told the truth, a rarity for a Catholic, and that makes him easier to deal with.

I've been reading recently about history and the changes the left is forced to deal with after the right dismantles the democratic state.  I'd really prefer this wasn't a completed plan until after I've moved on to another plane.  

If we learn anything from history, it's that we learn nothing from history.

And so it goes:

Monday, January 24, 2011

it snows and then it's cold and then it snows and then it's cold...oy

Too much winter this year.

let's see, how do i adequately describe my odd dream last night without grossing out all both of my readers?

I woke during the night and my dream was fresh in my head, so to speak.  Now, I rarely remember my dreams so it was an interesting occurrence.

Ever have a dream from which you wake and think to yourself: "What the fuck was THAT about?"

In addition to rarely remembering my dreams I'm certain that i rarely have sexual dreams. I've just never been one to have that issue expressed in my subconscious.  So!

In addition to remembering a dream, and then realizing it was sexual I then remembered who my dreams partner was.   

before I reveal his identity I should say that if you know me you know my penchant for redheads,  and this dream partner played right into such notions.

Also, if you were born after 1987 you likely won't know who he is. You see he was an actor in a sitcom that we all know and love, if you're of a certain age. He wasn't exactly an awe inspiring character, yet he regularly shared with us his nice little bod.

ok as if you hadn't guessed already, here he is:

yes, ladies and gentlemen in my rare sexual dream I was getting down with ralph malph.

ok all together now:

"What the FUCK was THAT about?"

and so it goes:


Thursday, January 20, 2011


Feeling transcendental

"I am not ready to make an announcement about what my political future is going to be. But I will tell you ... I am not going to sit down. I am not going to shut up," -Sarah Palin

So, if Sarah Palin doesn't shut up, and keeps rattling on in the press about this athat and the other and no one listens, is she making a sound?

Lost two more days of rehearsal to snow.  I'm trying not to have a panic attack about it.  Adding half an hour a day to the rehearsal schedule for the rest of the run.  (deep breaths)

Trying to decide if the houses I've found are even worth the cost of not leaving.  (so far none really gets my juices flowing) and thinking maybe everything should go into storage in New Mexico so I can take a year off and travel.  Gods know there's nothing I have going here that I can't do anywhere else. 

Winter go away, I'm so not hopeful right now.

And so it goes:

Tuesday, January 18, 2011

it won't get better until we put a stop to this



Gay Teen, Bullied For Years, Commits Suicide

by David Badash on January 18, 2011 · Comments (0)
in News
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Openly-gay, Miltona, Minnesota eighteen-year old Lance Lundsten, whom friends say was bullied for years, committed suicide over the weekend in or near his home. His funeral is tonight.
The Jefferson High School senior, who wrote on his Facebook page that he was gay, left this as one of his final messages: “Love knows no gender, color, or religion.”
There is a Facebook page event advocating a “Moment of Silence and Reflection to Honor Suicide Victim Lance Lundsten.” It currently has over 300 attendees. Another page, “In Memory of Lance Lundsten,” has over 500 members.
Local Alexandria, Minnesota news station KSAX has a video and story. They write,
Around 10 p.m. Saturday the Douglas County Sheriff’s Office responded to an emergency call at the Lundsten’s residence in Miltona.
When officers arrived, they discovered 18-year-old Lance Lundsten needing emergency medical care. Lundsten was transported to the Douglas County Hospital where he later died.
The Sheriff’s Office confirmed to KSAX that they believed Lundsten’s death was a suicide. The Sheriff would not confirm the nature of the medical emergency.
According to his Facebook page, Lundsten was openly gay. On a Facebook memorial page in Lundsten’s honor, friends said  that Lundsten had been bullied at school for his sexual orientation. Some students who knew Lundsten believed the bullying may have led to his suicide.
“Bullying is a huge issue, particularly with the youth in our country now,” Facilitator of the Diversity Resource Action Alliance Shari Maloney said. “I think because we’re in central Minnesota, and we aren’t as diverse as some of the larger Metropolitan areas are, someone who is different maybe draws more attention and it’s not always positive.”
Via Huffington Post:
Sen. Al Franken (D-MN) offered his condolences at an event on Monday.
“My heart goes out to Lance’s family, and friends and loved ones. It’s a tragic event, not only for them, but for the school, and the Alexandria community and really for all of us,” Franken said.”LGBT kids really do need (more) protection,” Franken said. “They’re two or three times more likely than straight kids to get bullied. Nine in ten LGBT students said they’ve been bullied or harassed and almost two-thirds say they don’t feel safe in school.”

When will we stop paying lip service to the education of our children and actually start doing something about what ails our society?  The repeated occurrence of  suicide among gay youth shakes my faith in the future.  Have we become THAT society? One in which we hound from our midst those who don't conform?  one in which the only acceptable form of 'mo is a dead one?

We've got to stop this, we've lost half a generation to AIDS, and this time we're losing it to something much more insidious.  And far more preventable. 

Please keep safe any gay youth you know, and offer any assistance you can to help them through the tough times, we've all been there.

I'm out at work, but not actively.  This will change starting today when I go back to work.  I'll be volunteering with the student organization and I'll be offering any student I know an ear to listen to their concerns about living life as a gay man or woman.  Jobs aren't important unless they mean something to you, and if I put this one at risk because I do what needs to be done, so be it. 

And so it goes:

Friday, January 14, 2011



McDonald's employee fired for letting Peterson use the restroom

An assistant manager at McDonald's was fired after allowing Minnesota Vikings star Adrian Peterson to use the bathroom while the restaurant was closed. 
While working the late-night drive-thru shift at 3 a.m., a female employee encountered a man standing outside the window who asked to come inside and use the restroom. After a little while, she realized it was the popular Minnesota Vikings star and opened the door for him to come inside and use the facilities. (The seating area at the restaurant is normally closed during the late-night hours.)
[Related: 'SportsCenter' anchors high-five over coach's firing]
One week later, the mother of three was fired for the offense. 
"He's a public figure... I know him better than some of the maintenance people that come in and out," she told The Consumerist. "I never thought in a million years that that decision was going to cost me my career."
Jeez, McDonald's. It's not like she was letting in Brett Favre(notes) or Bryant McKinnie(notes). He's Adrian Peterson, the most famous Vikings player of all! If you can't do a solid for AD, who can you?
There's a silver lining at the end of these golden arches, though: After the local media reported on the woman's termination, McDonald's gave her back her old job.
[Rewind: Army colonel in Afghanistan fired for criticizing PowerPoint]
Let this be a lesson to all you fast-food employees keen on handing out favors to famous athletes. It doesn't matter if Tom Brady(notes) walks through those doors; he has to pay $0.39 for supersizing just like everyone else.

no, no I'm afraid he doesn't.  Tom Brady does not have to pay extra for anything in my store.  

Thursday, January 13, 2011

The times they are a changin'

I've just about come to a decision. It's a tough one for me, because it means compromise and I'm NOT good at that.

My father's estate will be settled in a few months and I'm thinking abut using some of it to buy a house.

I'm thinking that house may be right where I am already.

Believe me there are several pro/con lists already. But in the end it all boils down to the fact that I'm 53 and finding a full time teaching job in this environment is extremely unlikely at my age. And I love that job so I might just have to stay here to keep the one I've got.


If i buy this little house I just found yesterday, and then rent a space in the small downtown district a few blocks away I think I might be ale to be a potter full time and walk to work. Saving me gas money, and keeping my teaching job, and eliminating the mortgage payment we all abhor.

This would free up a modicum of funds for my favorite

It could work.

It scares me, but it could work if I'm willing to attempt to overcome my phobia of commitment.

lol as if...
And so it goes:

Catholic boys doin what they do...gotta love 'em

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Wednesday, January 12, 2011

Da Noive!

I realize that it 's redundant to say that Sarah Palin has a lot of nerve, but Sarah Palin has a lot of fucking nerve.

To spend several days silently working up a way to find someone else to blame for the exact thing she does, and refuse to take responsibility for it is absolutely typical of her and her ilk.

The fact is that the last decade has brought this country to one of it's most violent eras. The use of imagery designed to provoke thoughts of weaponry, military might, and violent acts on our behalf are daily occurrences.

The swiftness with which we as a society have embraced hatred and violence is shocking to anyone with a conscience.

I would implore the Sarah Palin's of the world to accept he responsibility of their words and to embrace a more peaceful approach to our problems. But I know that's wishful thinking in this world.

So I implore those of you who know better, who are smarter than the Sarah Palin's, to do everything you can to counterract their message of hate and their immeasurable ability to lay responsibility for their actions on others.

I'm not sure I'm hopeful it'll change the direction we're headed, but at least we can look in the mirror and say we tried.It'd be nice too if when we choose words, they were chosen wisely, not by the illiterates that Palin surrounds herself with.  They apparently don't know two things:
1.) That blood libel is a term that is incredibly sensitive and offensive to jews.
2.) Giffords is a jew.

Good job Sarah. More confirmation that you're a halfwit. as if we needed it.

And so it goes:

Tuesday, January 11, 2011


With no work to do, since there's no work to be had.  And with nothing outside but snow snow snow, oh and single-digit temps, it's time to play!

So I borrowed a sled and I took the afternoon.  For just a little while I was a kid again. A determined and occasionally grim one, but a kid none the less.   I hadn't done that in over 20 years.

What possessed me to risk  life and limb without a thought for my health and safety for about 45 minutes of childish fun?  I have no idea.

I doubt I'll ever do it again, but it was quite the afternoon. 

I guess with no way to start rehearsals for my show I thought "what the hell."  Yesterday snow was falling like crazy and I canceled the read-thru.  Today the school is closed and I have no way to get in the building.  So I guess we start tomorrow.

I have my fingers crossed that the loss of the first two days of rehearsal won't put the actors off their stride.  It could, and then I'd have some obstacles I do not want.  But I've spent time in the classroom with at least one of them and I think it'll be fine.

Trying to re-imagine the set with the discovery that  our new lighting designer is apparently a whiz-kid with the projection.  I love the idea and I'm really looking forward to it.  My only concern is that enormous stage, no set, and two actors. 

It'll be fine.

And so it goes:

Monday, January 10, 2011

let it snow let it snow let it snow

Unfortunately there will be the need to go out in this mess in a bit.   I'd rather stay here, but I've grown accustomed to eating and living indoors so off to work I go. 

I am canceling rehearsal though.  I'm not fighting the elements to go to a read-thru and I don't expect them to either. 

The usually mouthy Sarah Palin is strangely quiet since the Giffords shooting Saturday.  Were are you Sarah?  No actual guts to come out and take your lumps for pushing guns into the hands of the mentally ill?  No rhetoric for the situation that you helped create?  No courage to stand up for what you supposedly believe in? 

Apparently not.

I find it amusing that so much is being made of the fact that the intern who apparently helped Giffords right after her shooting is gay.  What bearing on all this could the guys sexuality possibly have?  We're a screwed up society we are.  

Speaking of which-

Californication is back. 

Thank Gods for Hank Moody.  He's my vicarious outlet for all that stuff I used to have the energy to do.  And he's funny to boot. From assault to statutory rape in 22 short minutes.  That Hank, he's such a mover and a shaker.  This bad boy doing penance thing is starting to wear thin so they may need to wrap it up and move on with his maturation soon.  I love the Karen/Hank/Becca thing, but this righteousness over the whole Mia thing which they don't know the truth of is kinda pissing me off at them.

Not a big fan of guilty until proven innocent. particularly within families. (I wonder why)

Snow blower outside the window.  This is not a good sign.


And so it goes:

Friday, January 7, 2011

Liar Liar pants on fire!

It seems some people are looking at the recent spate of mass die-offs among various forms of wildlife as signals that the world is about to come to an end.

Which begs a question.


What are you gonna do about it?  Nothing, that's what.  If the world ends it ends,  You're not gonna get saved in the rapture, nor burned in that myth called hell.  Nor are you going to be able to take your material goods with you, and likely not those you love here either.  There are things you can do something about and there are those you can't.  This would be the latter.

Some say the government is lying to us about these deaths and there is some sinister plot afoot.

My response:  (Gasp!) You mean the government doesn't tell me the absolute truth about everything? 

Exactly how naive are you? Governments have been lying with impunity to their citizenry since time began.  If you don't know this perhaps you should spend a little more time reading.  Start with the Vietnam war.

The story we're getting is that these kinds of things "...happen all the time..." and they're gonna stick to it.

And so it goes:

Thursday, January 6, 2011

the waiting is the hardest part

I put off posting this morning because i had a busy morning and had to get out of here.  Now I find that my fever is back and I'm crabby and want to go to bed.  But duty calls.

So, if I understand today's events correctly, for the first time the constitution was read at the opening of the new congress.  This would strike me as redundant if it weren't for the fact that the participants, 1.) have already demonstrated complete ignorance of the documents contents.  and 2.) that it's not likely that they have read anything, let alone the constitution  so they probably need to know what it says.

I was particularly fond of the mention that a woman so stupid as to believe the birther arguments was in the gallery shouting things like "Jesus help us!"  lol

This, of course, brings up all my old religious arguments, that those mythical people didn't actually exist, so those who invoke their names at inappropriate times are just exhibiting their insanity.

Speaking of which, David Silverman completely blew his interview with Bill O'Reilly.  Instead of listening to O'Reilly ,and responding to his questions, he attempted to shout him down with his non-stop chatter.  It seemed he was intimidated by O'Reilly.  Someone should have prepared the dumbass so he didn't freak out on camera.  the arguments made by the American Atheists are quite sound.  unfortunately they haven't found anyone who can adequately articulate them publicly.  And until they do they'll just be labeled crackpots and ignored.

Too Bad they blew a great opportunity to be thought of as thinking people.

I was referring to the American Atheists, but it also applies to congress today as well.

and so it goes:

Wednesday, January 5, 2011

it is so fucking on!

the following is my freewill astrology horoscope for the week of January 5. 

The Strait of Gibraltar is the narrow passage between Europe and Africa where the Mediterranean Sea joins the Atlantic Ocean. According to legend, in ancient times the Latin phrase "ne plus ultra" was inscribed in the rock overlooking this gateway. It meant "not further beyond," and served as a warning to sailors not to venture out to the wild waters past the strait. Eventually, that cautionary advice became irrelevant, of course. With a sturdy vessel, skilled crew, good preparation, and expert knowledge based on the experience of others, venturing out past the "ne plus ultra" point wasn't dangerous. I hope you'll take that as your cue in 2011, Gemini.

there will be changes made.  woohoo!

And so it begins...again

The "new" congress convenes for the first time today, and it appears the upstarts have a few plans.

Like cutting $100 billion out of the budget. This is possible.

Eliminate all positions held under GOP support that offer more than $100k in remuneration, eliminate free health care for congress, cease all earmarks, and stop supporting any group with "faith-based" initiatives.

Easy, no?

Well, probably not that easy because the Tea Party, which will be leading a lot of these battles is a faction of the Republican Party, and they're led by the guy who thinks that these words:
"It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity..." are from War and Peace. 

The fight will begin momentarily. And it's all posturing! and I'm sure I'll be regularly incredulous myself .They'll attempt to get a bill rammed through to repeal health care, and on the weird chance it would pass, there's the minor sticky wicket of needing the President to sign a bill that repeals his own initiative which he spent lots of political capital on. not.

The Tea Party's machinations will be front and center for a while until someone finally shuts them down and hopefully gets back to the business of running the government.

It's gonna be a helluva wasted two years while we fight with those idiots, so sit back, grab a keystone, cause that's all you can afford anymore, and watch the show.

I'm growing weary once again of the battles we're forced to endure just to keep small minds and those who are victims of their own failed education system  from overthrowing the government that dedicated and true patriots gave their lives for.  It's such a shame that we've, through our own laziness created an entire class of people who are so uninformed and uneducated that they have no notion how the government of their own country functions. Mystifying.

Waiting for the next civil war to begin.  It'll be over religion this time.  They're well organized.

Not feeling particularly optimistic today.

And so it goes:

Tuesday, January 4, 2011


three jobs and directing a show can keep one busy.

Just to let you know I'm thinking of you: