The soul has greater need of the ideal than the real for it is by the real that we exist, it is by the ideal that we live

Thursday, December 6, 2012

You're never too old to learn

ok, so i'm back...we'll see how long this lasts. In that whole circle of life thing, I've lost a job, not much of a job, but a job nonetheless. But in the process I've gained another. Or should I say regained. Way Way Way back in this blog you will find a post, likely several, about me losing a job by way of economic downturn. I got it back. Like two days after I lost my job I emailed my former boss at the library to network. Long story short, to borrow a phrase, The job she intended for me to have four years ago had finally been created and was available. She urged me to apply and the rest as they say is history. I start in ten days. Needless to say I've been completely self[involved this last ninety days. All I've thought about is me, how am I going to make it through til a new job comes along? How am i going to pay the bills? How am I going to eat? Blah Blah Blah. Of course, the bills got paid, food was on the table, and I'm still here. Such drama. I have however had occasion to reflect on the nature of friendship. People as we know have an infinite capacity to disappoint. They have not failed me yet again. A woman whom I went to a great deal of trouble for, i.e. I got her a job at a time when she was not only about to lose her car, but desperate just to eat regularly demonstrated her true character. After I had gone to this trouble to get her a job and subsequently and unrelatedly lost my own, she went about telling all and sundry gory details about my termination. This was not particularly dismaying, i never counted this woman among my friends, she was an acquaintance and I only got her the job because I felt some compassion for another person in need, who was in a situation she couldn't dcontrol without some help. And no one was I see why. But what was dismaying was that people who call themselves my friends did listen. They sat mute while these tales were told and didn't challenge this woman. They didn't stop her and tell her that not only was this inappropriate to come to them and tell these tales, but that she was being a complete cunt for doing it after what I had done for her. They did none of this. They did, however, tell me all about it. Now, history has borne out the fact that I am a particularly bad judge of character. If you're the type of person who'll stab me in the back in the middle of the town square, I usually take right to you. If you're a mean abusive son of a bitch who appears to be a lamb in public I will embrace you. In other words I am a dummy when it comes to people. This however, has given me pause to re-evaluate the position that certain people hold in my life, and whether they deserve it. They decidedly do not. So they'll become history. I'm not having any big scenes, I'm not having any long discussions about who did what and to whom and how it felt. people are who they are and they're not gonna change just because I want them to. But I do not have to subject myself to them. All this having been said and done, I have not mentioned that I actually do have good friends. Some are recent developments. Some have been around a while and just proved their mettle, but they're good friends nonetheless. Two in particular have seen to it that I've had positive support and contact that reaffirmed my worth in their eyes. It's been an invaluable resource. So thanks to them and fare well to fair weather friends. It's nigh on to time I sent them packing. new leaves and all that. And so it goes.