The soul has greater need of the ideal than the real for it is by the real that we exist, it is by the ideal that we live

Tuesday, May 18, 2010

CRO it is

Yesterday I went through a harowing ordeal that took almost the entire afternoon.

I went to the DMV.

I'd finally gotten Chrysler financial to understand the finer points of changing my name and filling out the necessary forms, so armed with what I was convinced was a proper arsenal of paperwork I undertook the process of paying the state their annual extortion to have a license plate on my car.  The letters on the plate are CRO.

I found that amusing since I have to eat more and more crow as I get older it seems fitting. 

The latest attempt at "efficiency" for our beloved DMV is that you enter on a touch screen, your phone number and they text you periodically to update you on your "status" or place in line.  Thechnology lies to us all.

They told me I would have a 44 minute wait.

62 minutes later a slightly perturbed me approached the designated counter  at which point I was informed that to accomplish my task they'd need my license plate too.

This was the time for apoplexy.  I complied.

So I went outside and retrieved the plate, while they "held" a place for me in line. Paid them the ransom and off I went.



A while back I dissed Colin Farrell pretty good and got quite a bit of hate mail as a result.   Not that I mind, hate mail is at least an indication that I make someone think. Which in this day and age is a rare occurrence.

However, last weekend I saw Crazy Heart.  It was good, and Bridges was wonderful, though I still don't get the hype about the movie, it was a nice character study, but not all that.  The surprise for me though was Colin Farrel's presence.  I was unaware he was in the film when I sat down to watch.

He was pretty fuckin good!

Maybe sobriety and a new wife have had the desired effect. That's be nice.  The guy has had his share of flops, now he needs to start really acting and making us want more.

At this point I do.

Thanks Colin:

And we think we're so progressive...

Cuba, that little third world country to our south that's been thumbing it's nose at us for more than half a century seems to get it on more levels than we ever will.  So does our neighbor to the north, but that's another story.

Mariela Castro's lesbianism probably has a lot to do with the relatively newfound Cuban pride movement, or at least their outness to the world, but it's unique in a country such as Cuba.  Hell it's unique in a country such as the U.S.


Nonetheless, I applaud not only their courage, but their obvious delight on the parade route for Gay Rights on the International Day against Homophobia.  The parade was reportedly violence free.  

The parade in Belarus, conversely, lasted ten minutes and was ended by riot police. Belarus is off the list of places to live.

I've been involved with the ex for a few days. frankly it's been interesting that I've been involved with a very different person the past few days than I was several years ago. I'm still not convinced that either of us can actually have a relationship with anyone, but I still have hope. Not rushing into anything there.  

Perhaps my generation is one of the last, hopefully, that has to drag into relationships societies disapproval of our existence.  Maybe if we weren't told throughout our lives that we weren't worthy of love then we'd be able to accept some of  it.  Our families don't really approve of our sexual orientation, and they disguise it...barely, from us, but in truth not at all from each other, and in our heart of hearts I think we know that.

 I think we know too that this impairs us, from an early age, to be able to actually have a loving and intimate relationship with another man.  I think straight people know that too, and they love having such an effective tool. 

Reminds me of Geoffrey's line in Lion in Winter..." I know. You know I know. I know you know I know. We know Henry knows, and Henry knows we know it."

So we drag this disapproval from relationship to relationship like Pig Pen's cloud of dust, and think that all we're really good for is one night stands or brief flings that mean very little, and we're not, we're worthy of so much more.  If we just had the  (Courage? Wherewithal? Intelligence?  Opportunity?) to celebrate our difference and live open, relaxed, loving lives, we'd win.  Probably never the approval of those too stymied in their intellectual and emotional development to think we're actual human beings, but the right to a life of our own without the interference of anyone. 

Yes there are places in which we can do that but we shouldn't have to leave our homes and go exile ourselves to have happiness, it's our right.  Remember Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Happiness?  It says nowhere in that document that you can have that only if you're white christian and heterosexual..nowhere. If this is truly the melting pot, then let it be so.   

It shouldn't be necessary to have these:




Though they're wonderful and I'd participate in a second. I still think we should have more of these:


And these:

And Gods yes these!
So that these:
will go away. (Not that I subscribe to that whole God thing)

The unfortunate and unconscionable influence that the heteronormative world wields against the psyche of the rest of us is unforgivable and the only way to rid ourselves of it is to defy it and walk down the street with our chosen partners with our head held high.  Let the judgment of their Gods fall on them as it should.

All of which reminds me of Geoffrey's next line in Lion in Winter:

"Rot."

And so it goes:


Ah yes, hot guy, no shirt, and a Camaro, what more could I ask.