The soul has greater need of the ideal than the real for it is by the real that we exist, it is by the ideal that we live

Thursday, March 31, 2011

what to do what to do

Just sitting here this morning pondering the options.  What to do.  Go back to work full time, (which I don't want to do,) as artistic director(in a place I don't really want to live),  Stay here teach part time, direct occasionally buy the house I like and become a potter.  Move to New Mexico try to be a potter, and start all over again.  Love many aspects of all the above, and I was just teased for wanting to live five lifetimes at once, but all are good ideas.

For now just trying to stay afloat and survive the hour long spring. In truth I'd just like to go sit in a cabana and look at these two.

And so it goes:

Wednesday, March 30, 2011

We are too soon old and too late smart

William Blake said "The road of excess leads to the Palace of Wisdom."

William Blake was full of shit.

And so it goes:

Tuesday, March 29, 2011

He does it with better grace, but I do it more natural

What the hell is up with the universe?  Yesterday I had found a house, I was awaiting settlement on Daddy dearest's estate and I was going to the semi-country to live my days in pottery making, part time teaching bliss.


Yesterday I text a friend.  "Well, I found a house."  The response?  "Don't buy it you may have a job elsewhere."

A few more details might have been nice.

Then I learn that I've been recommended for a job as Producing Artistic Director of a certain Shakespeare Festival. 


Well, first it's in a state I have no real desire to live in.  Second, I really don't think I have the qualifications for the job.  Third, it sounds like and awful lot of work.  Fourth, I haven't yet set a date to talk with them. 

So, though I'm not committing myself to the house purchase just yet, and besides it'll take months anyway I have to go through the Fannie Mae foreclosure bureaucracy.  I am intending to at least talk to them.

So I ask you again, What the fuck is up with the universe?

And so it goes:

Monday, March 28, 2011

I want to go out and play!

But it's raining and gray yet again.  Yesterday it snowed for hours...yes hours! 

But enough whining. I am looking at my next vacation.  It's a few months off, but it's coming, I can feel it.  i am obligated to go to New Mexico at the end of May, but after that I feel a bit more distant destination in my future, one I've never been to.  It's time to start traveling again. 

I'm really enamored by the house I found last week. I already described it in a previous post, but I went there with my brother and his wife Saturday evening before dinner to show them, and they were excited about it too.

My real estate agent seems to be discouraging me from it, and I think it's mostly because he doesn't really want to go through the bureaucratic mess a Fannie Mae foreclosure entails. I don't care I think it's the house I want.

Besides Fannie Mae won't event talk to me until I actually have the cash in hand which won't happen until mid may at least. (Stepsister called my brother Saturday while we were at dinner to say closing was set on the townhouse so the estate should start to distribute...extremely good news) so I have to wait and see if it's possible.  If it's meant to be it'll wait for me. If not I'll get my answer. 

Today it's back to academia.  Spring Break is over (waaah!) and that leaves 6 more weeks to teach. Frankly i could use the time off. Oops back to whining, sorry.

Well academia is tapping it's toe and I'm still here blogging so off I go.

And so it goes:

Friday, March 25, 2011

rarer still

Colin Farrell was a good friend of Elizabeth Taylor?  Maybe he isn't so bad after all.  Actually I've always liked the persona, but it's the choice of acting roles I've hated, they never did him any good and in many cases hurt him. But it seems sobriety agrees with him he was quite good in London Boulevard, in fact he was amazing.

Yesterday was a bit busy.  Looked at two houses, one a total disaster, the other not at all, and very promising actually. It's a bit of a funny story in that my real estate agent says that the house was auctioned a month ago and there were NO bidders.  It does need some work since there was apparently theft of, shall we say, infrastructure before the prior owners departed.

They took the copper plumbing!  I had no idea it had happened but when we were looking at the basement he said "here's where the dryer goes, and there's the vent for it."  and I said "yeah but I don't see anyplace for the washer to hookup."  Then I began looking in the basement ceiling and when I got clear back to the kitchen area I realized there were no pipes at ALL! It was quite an amusing moment. So I told him that if we decide to make an offer on it that we'll REALLY lowball fannie mae on the price since it has to be re-plumbed.  hilarious. I'd put in new HVAC too, but this place sits on top of a hill on a short acre, and the lot next door is for sale CHEAP and with that I'd have over an acre of ground around me with two outbuildings and a brick barbecue. The day was gray and overcast, but the house was light and airy I can only imagine what it'd be like  when it's sunny.  The view out the front leaves a bit o be desired, i.e. the Clampetts live across the street, but the view out the back is great, and it's a bit of a valley, so I think I'd be happy there if I could get it.   I'm not counting on anything until I have keys in my hand, but it's the first real ray of hope in the house search so far.

The other one was a total disaster. The only useful thing there was the roof which appeared to have been replaced about four or five years ago.  The rest was just junk.  Too bad too, it was in a great neighborhood.

Then I returned home and went through the mail, and responded to my eviction by snoring notice.  And then went to a two hour lunch with an old friend from my library days. Had a great lunch, there was much to talk about. Then I went home and got on a website we all know and love and found a piece of merchandise that purports to help snorers and went out and bought it.  It seems that it'll help, but since I'm self-prescribing I'm  thinking it may take me a while to get it right if I even can.  So, looking to beg up a room to sleep in until I get the inheritance and either buy a house or leave here permanently.

And so it goes:
here's HGF

Thursday, March 24, 2011

Permanent winter

I'm coming to believe that this winter has come to stay.  It's back down in the 30's after a weekend in the 70's, and guess what old friend is reportedly going to make a comeback this weekend? 


I know, right?

It's the end of March in the lower midwest and they're talking snow.  It's a rare thing when I am speechless but what could I possibly say to that?

It appears that I may be evicted because I snore. I was unaware this was possible and legal, but in this world where corporations run everything humanity is non-existent.  I'm not really inclined to fight it, if I can find a quick place to stay for a few months til I get a house I'll be happier I think than trying to hang on here.

I assume being the simpletons they are they think that everyone who snores has sleep apnea and that all I have to do is get a machine and voila the problem is slved, but I do not have sleep apnea, so there's that.

In any case I think I might just pack some boxes the next few days while I'm off. And look for a storage unit.

oh and I have to recommend a new favorite site,  Too funny.  I especially like the picture of the guy looking directly at the stealther's camera.  

And so it goes:

Wednesday, March 23, 2011

I am dying egypt, dying.

And Dame Elizabeth Taylor has left our plane of existence.  Well, good for her.

Talk about someone who has lived an amazing life!  Born in England, of parents who hailed from one of the smallest, most podunk towns in the state of Kansas, Arkansas City, she led a life of privilege and  good fortune from the beginning.

Her many marriages are legend as well as her acting accomplishments.  I think of her as an artist who always did the work.She never seemed to rely on being Liz Taylor, and did whatever was necessary to show us her characters flaws and imperfections. 

Would that our current world of imitations held such talent and promise.

She will be forever missed.  Let us hope that she's with Mike Todd, and those she loved in this life.

And of course, Thank you Elizabeth Taylor for your gifts to us.

And so it goes:

Tuesday, March 22, 2011

why not do both?

I keep thinking I have choices to make, and perhaps I do, but then again perhaps I don't.

I keep thinking I have to decide whether to stay here or go, or to buy a house here or somewhere else. (there r great bargains in Las Vegas and South Florida, not to mention Central California btw) But why do I have to make that choice?

Currently if I stick to my present mindset these r the two choices. this one here in town,

featuring this outdoor kitchen:

and then there's the cabin featuring these:

The one with the kitchen features a detached garage in which I can set up a studio, it does keep me here  but it also keeps me in close access to the galleries and fairs I service here already so I don't have to re-establish my business, and I don't have to do it in a state where one can throw a rock and hit a potter.  

The one with the mountains, well it has everything else. And except for the rare occasion I'd be there during ski season I could rent it out and make money off it during the winter.  
So there's that.

No word on the CA job, but considering the fact that the day after I mailed the packet off I read that Cali laid off 50,000 teachers, I think they'll have plenty of applicants.  No need for me to traipse across the country yet again I'm certain of that. at least not for this job.  
So though it's not quite a quandary, it is a bit thought provoking.  Should I stay or should I go?

Or should I do both?

And so it goes:

Monday, March 21, 2011

Making a true impact

Congratulations to joemygod for receiving Outstanding Blog Award at the GLAAD awards this weekend.

Now that blogs are getting recognition I'd like to see them start to hire reporters and pay them to actually report news instead of linking to items from other outlets. Now THAT would be progress, and making the internet really work for us.

I regularly read Talkingpointsmemo, Huffpost, GoodAsYou, Joemygod, Towleroad, and a host of others, and I spend a couple hours a day trying to crank out a meager paycheck (in addition to working a job and teaching and making pottery) from writing of my own, so I know whereof I speak.

I doubt that Joe and Jeremy and Andy Towle are making millions off their blogs, and I get what overhead can do to the bottom line believe me, but stringers can change everything. Usually they're people not unlike me who are willing to gather and write news and have it published by the respective outlet that paid for it.  Sometimes in addition to being allowed to publish it themselves on their own blog. And they can bring a perspective to not only change but build readership.

So maybe it's our time. With the economy being changed to the advantage of those who will benefit the most and who ultimately control the game perhaps it's time to change the game a bit, change the rules on them and see how they like playing catchup like we always have to.

 I should say right now that I don't pretend that this blog is anything but what it appears to be, an outlet for me to express opinion and the occasional rant. I sometimes aspire to making it more, but then I see the difficulty in making that a reality and think I might not have the stamina for it. Besides my inability to commit has paralyzed me for decades why change now.

But I can dream can't I?

And so it goes:

Friday, March 18, 2011

enough of this week let's just gawk here's hgf

And God's love wins out again



KILLER CONFESSES: I Stoned That Homo To Death Just Like The Bible Says I Should

A Pennsylvania man is under arrest after confessing to beating an elderly man to death with a stone, just like the Bible instructs should be done with homosexuals.
A 28-year-old Upper Darby man has been charged with murder after telling police that he stoned a 70-year-old man to death when the man made homosexual advances toward him, authorities say. John Joe Thomas, 28, of Sunshine Road in Upper Darby, spent almost every day with 70-year-old Murray Seidman at Seidman’s Lansdowne home, police say. Days before Seidman’s body was found on Jan. 12, Thomas allegedly beat Seidman to death with a sock full of rocks. Thomas told authorities that he read in the Old Testament that homosexuals should be stoned to death. When Seidman allegedly made homosexual advances toward him over a period of time, Thomas said he received a message in his prayers that he must end Seidman’s life, according to court documents. Police say that Thomas struck Seidman in the head about 10 times with the sock of rocks. Thomas left Seidman dead in his apartment, and then threw his bloody clothing and the bloody sock in a dumpster, according to authorities.
The killer was the sole executor of the victim's will and returned to to the scene of the murder several days later claiming to have discovered the body.

Thursday, March 17, 2011

Happy St Patrick's day!

It's arrived!  That one day a year we celebrate all things Irish by getting drunk and inappropriate.

And we thank you all.

I read a blog called American Irish by a young guy who has immigrated to Ireland and now lives there with his husband.  

His writings of late have been much more personal in nature and more heartfelt it seems.  I enjoy it more now than ever.  Not that he does any writing of more than a personal and diaristic nature, but what he does write makes me more and more curious about life in Europe.  hmmm

But today is for those of us who are obviously and inviolately Irish.  We'll tolerate that all of you think of yourselves as Irish today, and welcome you as you stumble drunk into places you'd never dare enter intoxicated on any other day.  We'll thank you for all your good wishes through your drunken haze, and some of us, (me included) will wish we could join you in the stupor for this day, alas we have to work. Somoene has to be responsible today.

A recent project at National Geographic Magazine tells us that the average person on planet Earth is actually a 28-year-old Han Chinese male.
The project also reveals that the most common person on this planet is:
- Right handed
- Has an annual income under $12,000
- Owns a cellphone, but doesn't have a bank account

Doesn't have a bank account?  Is this the new norm for what used to be called the middle class?  Is this what we have to look forward to for our children?

I suggest you read Griftopia, as well as Taibbi's other books.  They're enlightening.  I would imagine that "Han Chinese Male" part in the National geographic project sets quite a few conservative Americans teeth on edge. 

and so it goes:

Tuesday, March 15, 2011

Some rise by sin, and some by virtue fall.

This is so fucking poetic I can't tell you...

By ROSE FRENCH, Star Tribune
Last update: March 11, 2011 - 9:43 PM
E-mail this story

The Rev. Greg Renstrom
Richard Tsong-Taatarii, Star Tribune

Wesley United Methodist Church
Richard Tsong-Taatarii, Star Tribune

The Rev. Greg Renstrom has big plans for the reopened Wesley United Methodist Church. Plans that could potentially get him defrocked.
He wants to hold ceremonies to bless same-sex unions at the historic downtown Minneapolis church, even though they would conflict with Methodist policy.
"Somebody has to do it," Renstrom said. "I cannot imagine that Jesus would ever refuse to bless a responsible, mutually respectful and reverent relationship."
Wesley's move comes at a time when Methodists and other Protestant faiths are grappling with gay marriage, gay clergy and related issues. Only a few denominations allow same-sex union ceremonies.
For Wesley, the move is part of its revival, which is tied to attracting people from the Twin Cities' large gay community.
Declining membership forced Wesley, one of the first megachurches in the Twin Cities, to disband in 2008 after nearly 150 years of existence. The towering Romanesque Revival-style building next to the Convention Center is on the National Register of Historic Places.
Nearly a year ago, representatives with the state's United Methodist Annual Conference expressed "considerable concern" over the cost of the building's upkeep, Renstrom said.
Methodist leaders agreed to Renstrom's suggestion that Wesley deserved another chance and that it was suited to welcome the gay community in the nearby Loring Park area.
Renstrom came out of retirement at age 64 to lead the congregation, for an annual salary of $1.
Worship services started up in February, with close to 30 people attending on Sundays.
Harold Anderson, of Richfield, is one of the worshippers. He had been going to Wesley since 1971 and was saddened to see it close. As a gay man, he has always felt welcome.
"I think that this community maybe didn't look at the labels so much as people. After I'd been here a while, I realized there were gays and lesbians in the community. In the last 150-plus years, this community has always reinvented itself from time to time. This is one of those times."
To get the word out to the gay community, Renstrom said the congregation placed ads in Lavender magazine and church representatives recently attended a GLBT wedding show in Bloomington.
No blessings yet
Renstrom said he hasn't blessed any same-sex unions yet. Until then, it's unclear how church officials will react.
Some people will be "madder than the dickens," he said, but the move is worth the censure that may arise.
"I have so many friends who are gay and lesbian," Renstrom said. "I've seen the absolute anguish they've been placed in because of the refusal of most churches to bless what is a basic relationship. I see this as something we will try to provide in our small way."
The United Methodist Church, the third-largest denomination in the United States, considers homosexuality "incompatible with Christian teaching," according to its Book of Discipline. "Ceremonies that celebrate homosexual unions shall not be conducted by our ministers and shall not be conducted in our churches." Methodists also do not allow clergy in openly gay relationships to serve congregations.
Bishop Sally Dyck, of the Minnesota Annual Conference of the United Methodist Church, declined to comment about Renstrom's plans. "She prefers not to speculate on something that's a hypothetical," said Victoria Rebeck, director of communications.
At least two Methodist churches have come out in favor of blessing same-sex unions in Washington, D.C., where gay marriage is legal.
But in Wisconsin, a lesbian Methodist pastor will face a church trial in April on charges that she conducted ceremonies celebrating gay unions. She could face possible defrocking or suspension.
Dawne Moon, a sociology professor at Marquette University and author of "God, Sex and Politics: Homosexuality and Everyday Theologies," said some clergy are willing to take such risks as a "type of civil disobedience in the church in the name of social justice and in the name of God's laws."
This isn't the first time Wesley has challenged the status quo. In 1986 it became the first United Methodist Church in Minnesota to become a "reconciling congregation," committed to a ministry regardless of race, gender, age or sexual orientation.
Some pastors are blessing same-sex unions, but few are as open as Renstrom, said Rachel Harvey, a director at the Chicago-based Reconciling Ministries Network.
"Many pastors and congregations fly under the radar of the UMC and some don't even tell Reconciling Ministries Network for fear of being found out," she said.

and so it goes:

Monday, March 14, 2011

The winter of our discontent

I am loathe to report that it's fucking snowing!  But it is. This winter has been obnoxious in its unwillingness to GO THE FUCK AWAY!

With an impending root canal in an hour I have nothing else to say.  Except for some obvious pun about it being Monday.

And so it goes:

Friday, March 11, 2011


Thinking of all my coastal and pacific friends today.  Stay safe.

Thursday, March 10, 2011

The robbed that smiles, steals something from the thief.

I have to wonder if apathy is stronger than outrage.

Is it enough to be outraged over what happened in Wisconsin today?  Will it make enough of a difference for people tor rise up and change the government so this not only won't stand, but can't be done again?

I have my doubts. 

Up and out this morning before 6am.  Just shows how easy it si for handsome young men to talk me into just about anything.

and so it goes:

Wednesday, March 9, 2011

Such as we are made of, such we be.

Identifying a problem is said to be half the battle.  Well, at least we now know what the problem is.  Stupid people are in charge of things they shouldn't be in charge of. 

The unrelated Schiller's who were in charge of NPR yet are no more, were apparently stupid.  Vivian for hiring Ron apparently. 

At a time when the very existence of NPR is in doubt one might want to be politic in their speech, particularly to new acquaintances.  BUT NO! 

Mr. Schiller expresses some of the most moronic simple minded notions painting the very people who would eliminate NPR and PBS funding in the worst possible light. Thus making enemies not only more determined, but providing them with all the ammunition they could possibly need to accomplish their mission.

And people who know how to behave intelligently in times of crisis are likely unemployed right now, wishing they could have such an opportunity as Schiller et al.

On yet another sour note I see Chuck Colson late of the Watergate seven, has managed to get himself catapulted onto youtube, where apparently all taped stupidity resides opining about Obama and the decision not to defend DOMA. 

Had I been convicted of a felony my opinion would be less than significant to...well, anyone.  Yet someone who manages to attain and maintain the public eye in some sick perverse way, even and especially after he's committed some of the biggest crimes against the Constitution of the past century, THAT guy get's attention.  People apparently want to hear his ideas.

I work with the public, I see every single day of my life how stupid America is.  It's military might that saves us because if we had to go up against a nation utilizing only our wits we'd be done for.

 And so it goes:


Tuesday, March 8, 2011

There is no darkness but ignorance

if Americans didn't rely on misinformation, they likely wouldn't know anything at all.

Today I read an article speaking to Government workers and their exorbitant benefits.  Really?

Let's take a look at a few cases I know of personally.

First, we have a man who started his working life at HHS as a benefits authorizer. He left after a few years in order to work a job as a pharmaceutical rep so he could pay for his mother's nursing home, which he couldn't afford on his government salary. After ten years of that he returned to HHS and though he resumed his position he was forced into early retirement by a new regime that thought him as a man in his late 50's as disposable.  He was awarded as government employees can be with a 12k lump sum, which he used to purchase a new car.  His monthly pension?  $950.  He gets no social security as a government employee.

Second, we have a woman who after a selection of jobs with the state found herself in a position to retire with a combined 30 years of employment.  Her retirement?  $1200.  $650 of which goes to pay for health insurance for her and her husband.  She isn't eligible for Social security yet.

Third, let's look at what my own benefits would have been had I been allowed to stay at the library.  I intended to retire at 62 at which time I would have received $750 per month in pension, as well as an additional $1000 in Social Security.  This does not count what it would have cost me for health insurance, which likely would have been approx $450. per month.  So my income would have been $1300 per month.  This is living like a king?

Now let's take a look at my benefits as an adjunct associate professor at the community college.

(p.s. the salary is laughable, and I have to threaten them with legal action to get it)

So this article in which misinformed Americans tell tales about government workers that are getting astronomical pensions and retiring with outrageous benefits is misinformation. Pure and simple.  What we can't afford is to believe a word any politician tells us. THAT'S what's so expensive.

Yet they lap it up like dogs.

And so it goes:

Monday, March 7, 2011

In a false quarrel there is no true valour.

I'll be very unhappy about this for several reasons.

First, it's less than a week before my birfday and I plan to take myself to Hawaii this year.  Second, it's less than a week before the distribution of my adoptive father's estate, and that bastard owes me.  Third, I'm attempting to formulate some plans that will start to take root this summer, and this will be just before they do.

So this would suck.

Besides, it's the opinion of nutjobs, so how can I put any stock in it.

Just read an article about the demise of the 30 year mortgage.  Yet another bastion the middle-class was founded on.  They're coming for it all folks.  They're after the houses, the money, the freedoms, the unions, all of it.

We'd better start paying attention and save what little there is left to save, because we're bound for grass huts and dung heating if we're not careful. Well, at least our descendants are.

 It may take a while to get it, but we're assisting in our own demise and have been for some time now.

There are fewer true arguments than " We get the government we deserve."

We have created a society that relies on two incomes to have material things and in the end it's our downfall.  Our politics are taught us by fear, our morals are taught us by the religious who teach hate and divisiveness, and all the while those who would have us be their slaves are convincing more and more of us that they're the good guys,and we believe.Yet no one seems to be struggling with the question of what is the right thing to do.  We're a nation of Narcissists, and we all know what happened to him.

(side note: Funny headline this morning- "Remember when Charlie Sheen was an actor?"  Well, frankly, no, I don't.)

And so it goes:

Friday, March 4, 2011

Wednesday, March 2, 2011

Why so many choices?

Found a local house I realy like.  Waiting for the bank which holds it to come down on the price.  BUT!  There's now a place in New Mexico, along with an available studio.  Not impossible to find adjunct jobs there, but it means starting over...again.

And then this week there's a job in CA, an area I love, and very close to ground zero when it comes to foreclosures.  This is not to mention the job which is made to order for me.

So, there are choices.  Always choices.

I'm wondering if my dissatisfaction with the current state of things, are my unconscious way of making it easier to go should the opportunity arise.    Then maybe not.  In truth they're not that great, I could make substantial changes here and probably be fine, and still hold onto my support system.

I could also go.  One never can tell what may happen.

And so it goes: