The soul has greater need of the ideal than the real for it is by the real that we exist, it is by the ideal that we live

Monday, October 1, 2007

write it off

I'm writing off this latest guy. What a flake! I wish I could think of a better word, but that's the best one I got today. We're supposed to see each other tonight but no emails, no calls, no nothing. I'm not of a mind that he should be calling me all the time else I'd be bitching about that here instead. But calling to confirm, setup a plan for where, when, etc is just common sense. I have come to the conclusion this guy has none. So he's history, and moving on to the next topic.

I want to be more active politically. I think I'd even like to start a PAC, though I'd have no idea how to go about it. I see the traditional groups still in existence and I see that they are still dong the same stuff they've always done and I also see that it's not working.

I cannot be the only one (other than Richard Rothstein at queersighted) who is outraged and ready to mount a fight over this continual denial of our civil rights. I'd be wiling to bet that our illustrious President vetoes the Defense bill coming to his desk this week because it contains the Matthew Shepard Act. And I bet there is not one gay man or woman who takes to the streets as a result. I wish I could find someone to take that bet because I could use the money.

I am living a prime example. I am being forced to work in a hostile environment and no one can do anything to help me because there is no law to stop it. Why? you ask? Because I have no protections for my civil rights. Anyone can deny them to me under the guise of my sexual orientation and there is no recourse for me.

Yes, there is a new anti-discrimination law in my state (Kansas) and yes it could afford me some modicum of recourse. But at a constitutional level in Federal court, Nada, nothing. Why do we tolerate this?

Why do we do nothing to protect ourselves? Why do we allow others to trample on us simply because they hate something about us as though we deserved it? Why do we then ask for it to happen over and over while asking "May I have another please?"

Do we really believe we should be as hated as we are? Do we really believe what they're teaching their children and the rest of the world, that we're to be eradicated and barring that possibility to be reduced to nothingness? That it's ok to hate us because of who we love?

Did you choose to be gay? Did you wake one morning and make a conscious decision, knowing all the ramifications of such a decision, make up your mind to pursue a life that you knew was going to be fraught with battles, hatred, fearful lashing out from others, and constant tension with your family?

Did you do this with the intention of waging a battle against the "family values" that Republicans have so long preached as their own invention?

You know you didn't. I know you didn't. They don't care, is the whole point.

I wish I could stand up and make a difference in the lives of the men and women who fight this battle with me every single day and have some chance of winning.

I wish.

Love