The soul has greater need of the ideal than the real for it is by the real that we exist, it is by the ideal that we live

Wednesday, November 14, 2007

the dropped shoe

Well, last week he said I had the opportunity to have this full scale showdown with the enemy within, and I didn't have a clue what he was talking about. And now this...


Rob Brezny's Freewill Astrology horososcope for Gemini this week.

"Reality is that which when you stop believing in it, it doesn't go away," wrote novelist Philip K. Dick. I urge you to apply that benchmark to your own experience in the coming week, Gemini. You can generate a lot of creative energy by figuring out what is objectively true about your circumstances and what is merely illusion that's propped up by misperceptions and misunderstandings. You've got tremendous power to strip away the fantasies, both positive and negative, that are preventing you from living with 100 percent of your intelligence in the real world."

Oh Shit.

So now I have to go out and do research on what's going on in my life and figure out what's what. Swell. Do you have any idea how much energy this takes? I'm 50, can't I just accept a reality that I like and let it go at that?

NO, of course not, I never have before, why should I think I'd change now suddenly.

Where's my Magnifying Glass and my Calabash?

I found money in my bank account this morning that wasn't mine! Does that qualify for a misperception or misunderstanding? Well, actually it IS mine, but I didn't think I owned it anymore. But I do. Am I saving it? Am I paying off a credit card with it? Am I being altruistic with it? Am I fulfilling a need with it?

Nah!

I'm buying art with it. I haven't bought a painting in about three years so I am way overdue. I found some on a website and I think I need one. Actually right now it's between a Frida Kahlo reproduction and an original from this young guy whose art I like.

Someone once said, I forget who, it was probably Confucius:

"If a man has two pennies, with one he should buy a loaf of bread to sustain his life, and with the other he should buy a rose to give him a reason for living."

I need a rose.

I've given up on this guy in Chicago. I am beginning to think I was wrong about him. I now think that not only does he not know the proper words to use in colloqiualisms, but he's functionally illiterate. Today he was discussing something his roommate did and said that for all intensive purposes she was done with her project.

IT'S INTENTS AND PURPOSES YOU MORON!!!

I just give up on this guy, he's hopeless.

As usual, I was supposed to hear from my dept head early this week so I can go talk to the Dean and sign my contract for next semester etc etc.

(crickets chirping)

Nothing. Not a word from this guy. Of course, now I'm paranoid that since I had to leave his show early this weekend because it was interminable and I was meeting people at 10:30, that he may have rethought the whole thing. I know, I know, paranoid...I know it...stop!

The only reason I think this is that the guy who was my LD on the show I directed last winter, who would love to see my vitals on a bed of lettuce, saw me sneaking out the side door. This guy would narc me out in a second.

He seems to think that since my LD (him) was unable to hang and focus lights for my show since he was scheduled to have knee surgery in two days and I was unhappy that I got an LD that wasn't able to actually DO THE JOB that I'm a grinch. I know, I'm unreasonable.

ok, I could go on and on, but I have stuff to do.

go on!

Git!

have a life of your own!

GO!

ok, I was done with you for the day, however, I have a question.


Do you suppose when parents name a child Demonica, that it occurs to them that...