The soul has greater need of the ideal than the real for it is by the real that we exist, it is by the ideal that we live

Wednesday, October 3, 2007

Confusion abounds

If I had ever been a fan of that dreadful show form the '70's "Welcome Back Kotter" I'd use the catchphrase "I'm so confused." Which I think was Travolta's characters line. At any rate, I am thoroughly confused and simply forced to wait to see what the universe is up to.

Though I am certain there is nefarious skullduggery afoot here in the toxic waste part of KC I cannot determine with any certainty that it exists. In other words,all I got is a feeling. I also should mention that I've been asked to direct readers theatre productions for the children's department, and also be on a radio show on the local NPR station to talk about non-fiction books. See why i'm confused!

I'm told I'm wrong about the skullduggery. This is from someone who I have seen personally navigate the political minefield here, and very successfully I might add. He says no. That even if this person, who is not by nature someone who would set out to cause anyone problems, was of a mind to do this to me, she isn't in a position to do so. She also, according to him, doesn't have the ear of the person I thought she did. Therefore, I am told I'm paranoid for no good reason. This has never been the case in the past, so though I REALLY want to believe him, I don't. I'll accept his comforting for what it is, but the facts are the facts, and I think I'll be proven right. Unfortunately.

Normally if I get my hackles up in a situation like this there is good reason and I am ultimately proven correct. I really want to be wrong, but I don't think I am.

But in defense of the universe, it may have a plan I am blissfully ignorant of because the following is my Rob Brezny horoscope for this week. (I Love Freewill Astrology) I also seldom believe the universe deigns to tell me much of anything before deciding to take me on some new adventure. So I may be off on another sooner than I'd planned. Which is fine, I'm getting all Zen lately anyway.

"In Buddhist legend, the udumbara is a rare flower that blossoms unexpectedly every few millennia. It portends the imminent arrival of a miraculous breakthrough, as it did when it appeared near a lake at the foot of the Himalayas before the birth of Buddha. Many people in Fremont, California believe they recently saw the udumbara blooming on an oleander tree, its threadlike stalks erupting with tiny white blooms. Was it real? Alas, no scientists were on hand to confer the blessing of authentication. But that doesn't matter for my purpose, which is to let you know that you'll soon have a close brush with the equivalent of an udumabara. Be alert. Don't be so lost in your fantasies that you're blind to the fantastic omen that's right in front of you. You've got to actually see it in order to be ready for the wondrous event it foreshadows."

This could mean anything from, I'm getting a new ink pen, to getting a new life. Recently,I have been considering getting rid of all the worldly possessions and buying an ipod for the cd collecetion and a laptop,and shipping the art and dishes to a new locale and taking off for fresher pastures. Likely no greener but perhaps less polluted with the detritus of others baggage, at least for me.

I opt for new life, but I'll take what I can get.

Cross everything, send good thoughts to Del and Bigg, and stay tuned. I may have a new bic to talk about any day now.

The weather is still holding out miraculously well so I'm off for a long lunchtime ride today. According to the local seers I'm running out of time and I don't intend to squander a minute of this.

Love