A new friend recently said that to me when we were discussing the purchase of a house.However, I have to take exception to that remark. On behalf of whores everywhere I have to say that i have known more than a couple of whores who had more integrity than bankers of my recent acquaintance.
Last week I found a house. Actually I'd found it a few weeks ago I was just waiting for my father's estate to settle so I could pay for it on the spot. Well, banker's had other ideas. They kept lowering the price! They lowered it 5k, and then another 5k and then 10k, and finally when it got really low I sort of panicked.
I emailed my broker and told him we had to get busy and make an offer. There was a reasonable time frame since the estate is scheduled to settle in about three weeks, so i thought "What the hell, make an offer get the terms worked out and set a closing date for the end of august. That way I can get the inspections done and paint before I move in."
I told my broker, " Agree to the terms they've set forth on the listing sheet, and give them the earnest money deposit they require."
Now i think that's pretty reasonable to approach a seller with the intent to agree to what they ask without asking much in return. I agreed to buy their house for the price they were asking ( I know, but it was a really good price) and I agreed to take it on their terms. That apparently wasn't enough.
They countered with an offer to sell me the house if I'd pay them an earnest deposit twice what they'd originally asked. They countered with a closing date seven days from last Friday. They also said that for every day i delayed the closing after July 29, I had to pay them $100. They also refused to give me more than 7 days to do the inspections.
Now, man and boy I've seen injustice, hatred, guile, hail, plague, and pestilence. But this was a new one on me.
I realize they're hiding something and they think I'm so stupid that I don't know that an 80 year old house would probably need a new septic tank. And knowing this I had intended to have the tank inspected, and also planned to replace it.(Not an inexpensive proposition I might add)
But these fools are trying to ram this house down my throat and want me to ask them to give me a little spankin' while they're at it. I doubt they're cute enough.
After stewing over their completely unreasonable demands all weekend I called my broker this morning and told him to withdraw the offer.
Let's let that bastard sit on that tomorrow morning when he comes in to discover that the house he thought he was unloading on Friday is back on his books.
I've also discovered during this process that there is another house every fifty feet.
And so it goes: