The soul has greater need of the ideal than the real for it is by the real that we exist, it is by the ideal that we live

Wednesday, July 28, 2010

oh the dilemma!!!

This is not a dilemma I care to have.  It's not one about work or jobs or careers or any of that stuff I hvae no notion how to navigate. It's about Love

L'Amour, L'Amour.  Toujour L'Amour.

The ex is falling back in love.  If he ever was out of love.

I don't find this objectionable. He's a good guy.  He has ideas that are sometimes out there and though I have control issues of my own (who doesn't) I still find that we're a good match in a lot of ways.

I also find it comforting.

My concerns are many.  Not the least of which is what happens when I finally get ready to get the hell out of here and maybe he's not ready or willing to go.  I don't really want to hurt his feelings by saying "Seeya."  And that's what would happen if I got a job and had to go.

There are practical and material concerns as well, but that would be a bridge we could cross when the time came.  

I also question the wisdom of anyone who wold live in the same house as me of their own volition.  I am not easy to get along with. And in my own space I'm a bit of a bulldog.

It's also easy for me to isolate myself from people even if they're in the same building, cause I'm so well practiced at it, and that would have to be guarded against.

But It's nice to know someone still wants me, and that despite my numerous faults someone would consider letting me be part of thier life.

Somebody fetch me a bromide...and put some gin in it!

And so it goes:

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