The soul has greater need of the ideal than the real for it is by the real that we exist, it is by the ideal that we live

Tuesday, July 7, 2009

Curiosity and that damn cat

Not sure what the hell is happening to me. I slept almost all day yesterday, and after over 9 hours of sleep last night I went out this morning to run errands and right now I could eat lunch and sleep all afternoon. WTF???

Maybe I'm just catching up on all that rest I didn't get when I had three jobs. Maybe I'm just overcompensating for not having but one part time job. Maybe that excellent chiropractic adjustment I got yesterday relaxed me so much that I need to do this.

Mind you I'm not fighting it. I love getting all this rest.

The Michael Jackson memorial fiasco is going on as I write this. I just can't watch those people who think that this big hoopla is the proper way to remember someone.

I doubt that poor guy will ever be allowed to rest in peace.

All I've gotten done so far today is to go to the store the post office and mail that stuff that unemployment wanted me to send, and assemble all my records for Friday's hearing at the courthouse. The name will be legally changed at 9am Friday. I'm kinda excited about it.

Apparently the funeral yesterday was not as taxing as originally anticipated. It seems that Daddy Dearest didn't tell his daughter the Princess of Darkness. He says it's because he didn't think she could handle the whole event, but really we suspect he was wanting to save them all the embarrassment of the show she would have put on. Trying to recruit my stepsister into the widow's club, and making sure everyone knew she lost her husband three years ago. It WOULD have been a trying day with her there I guarantee. Alas,I'll send a card. Not playing that bullshit game anymore thank you.

Funerals are not for the dead. I have no wish to participate in an exercise in which the living get to pat themselves on the back by "honoring" their "loved one" thanks but no.

Last month I bought a new car stereo, and then promptly forgot all about it. I just realized that's what's in that box I found in my mail today. July is NOT the month I want to be crawling around under the dash of the car installing a new stereo. That project will wait.

You know, there are actually jobs out there. I could go back to work if I so choose, but I really don't want to. Yesterday unemployment told me how much I'll be getting every week. Hell, I could live a long time on that. So there's no rushing back into the workplace for me. I'll adjust to the freedom and the free time, and all this rest. I have to wonder what kind of void I thought I was filling with three and four jobs.

I don't think there's much missing from my life really. Well, a man would be nice, but when is that not the case?

I have to wonder about all this job stuff right now though. It's a good time for an examination.

I was going to post this on Monday but forgot all about it until just now.-

I’ve had a few thoughts on this job situation over the weekend.

What if the universe if trying to tell me something?

What if I’ve been going about this all wrong all these years?

What if all the opinions I’ve listened to, though well-intentioned were just wrong?

What if I really should devote my life to something and stick with that one thing?

What if it’s artistic?

Seriously, can it really go any worse than these hundreds of jobs and careers I’ve had so far?

What if I don’t fail?
What if I do?-

I'm just not going to be tied down by "my things" (those of you who knew Buddy know how to read that)

Buddy was defined by his things, I am not. I hope.

So I could leave them and go forth if I had to.

I swear I think this time I should just hang out til the thing comes along that I really want.

Hell, I can dream can't I?

Speaking of dreams:




Love

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