The soul has greater need of the ideal than the real for it is by the real that we exist, it is by the ideal that we live

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Is it possible?

The way my life usually goes this latest development shouldn't be all that surprising to me.

As regular readers know I've been sort of, not really looking that hard,but making a stab at it once in a while when I felt like it, looking for my biological father.

Since I'm 52 I figure I'd better get a move on, this old geezer is at least 70 already and how long am I gonna wait.

I'm pretty sure I've found him.

And I'm pretty sure he's gay.

How fucking cool is that?

See, one guy with this name keeps popping up in my searches. He lives in a city a few hours from here, and well, l,et's just say the area is trendy and another name keeps coming up with his as an associate with the same address. Thank the Gods I know the code for "partner."

So, we'll see how this goes. I'll send him a letter, so he has deniability, I have distance from possible rejection, and no one has to feel like they're on the spot. if he acknowledges that it's him then maybe I'd like to met him, say hi. We'll see, what happens.

It's kind of exciting, kind of scary, and maybe in the end none of the above. Mommie Dearest has already made her position clear, "get lost." And since she never told her husband of 50 years I can't imagine the repercussions for her, though if he dies first I'm afraid I'll be tempted to out her. We'll see if I'm around these parts when it happens.

But it's Wednesday, I have yet another free evening to spend at home and I haven't figured out what to do with myself. Last night I was in bed at 9:30, pathetic. Tonight I may have to make pots or ride or workout...something. I can't just sit and stare at the damn tv all night I'll go insane.

But grades are posted semesters over and I'm free to relax...lol...like that'll happen.

I'm taking off this weekend for my college town. No I'm not going to a reunion, or anything like that. I still have a friend who lives there that i stay in touch with and we've always been good friends, so I thought it'd be fun to go see her. There's horseback riding, and food and talking and such planned for all day, then I'll head home.

Tuesday, of course, is my birfday. Maybe that's the day I'll send Daddy a letter.

"I've written a letter to Daddy..." I feel like Jane Hudson, maybe we're related.

Morsel!!!

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