The soul has greater need of the ideal than the real for it is by the real that we exist, it is by the ideal that we live

Wednesday, May 7, 2025

What a life's work

 Carolyn Marie Hyland King-Collier died in August of 2024. She was my sister. 

I discovered her demise just recently. I was looking for my college boyfriend online, I just wondered whatever became of him. I couldn't find him, and I began to wonder if it was actually possible to disappear in this age of the internet.  

Curious, I decided to test the question.  I entered my previous name. There are quite a few people with that name in the world. Fortunately, none of them are me. 

But at the bottom of the page was that link that says "there are additional results that may not be relevant. If you wish to see them anyway,  click here." I clicked.

At the bottom of that page was a color photo of Carolyn. I thought, well that makes sense.  She was all about the attention so making sure her photo was on the internet stands to reason. But why did her photo show up in a search for my old name? Then I saw the link at the bottom. Legacy.com.

That's how I found out my sister had died 6 months ago. 

She was pretty. She was talented.  She was intelligent.  And she wasted every moment of her life striving to be the center of attention. The expense didn't matter. And by expense I  mean that people were an expendable  commodity to her once they had fulfilled their purpose. 

No matter the circumstance, nor how bad things might get, you could always count on Carolyn to end up on her back. She mangled every relationship of any kind that she ever had. She destroyed two marriages. She used every friend who passed through her life. In the end she caused her entire family to turn their collective back on her, leaving her with only her sons, whom she has messed up so badly they can't have healthy relationships with women. All just to satisfy whatever need she had at the moment.  All cloaked in the guise of "being in this together." Portraying herself as a victim was her most commonly used tool to induce people to get involved in whatever problems she had caused herself.  

If I were a praying man (I am not) I'd pray that there would be at least one person who would mourn my passing, even if only momentarily.  In her case the sadness comes,  not from her passing, not from finding out 6 months after the fact,  but in the realization that I was relieved to know she would never come knocking. 

What a life's work.